physical chemistry vs. friendship

[chocolatelablover22]

Can you have a good marriage with someone without a lot of physical chemistry?? I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and have known him for 5 years; we get along wonderfully but lack that spark that I have had with previous boyfriends. He is talking about marriage and I'm not sure if I am 'settling'......that sounds harsh! I am attracted to him, but I never get that intense craving to kiss him, etc. I have been told that you should marry your best friend, but can things last without that physical attraction? Does the intimacy get better as you fall deeper in love or am I doomed?

[fudgit]

It depends on how important the physical side is to you. If you're the sort of person who doesn't need a lot of sexual spark, then yes, you could have a great marriage. But if the current sexual content of your relationship isn't meeting your expectations, you may want to work on that area before agreeing to spend the rest of your life together.

 

What concerns me is that you wonder if the intimacy will get better as you fall deeper in love. If you're not totally in love already, why would you even consider marrying?

 

Don't be ashamed to admit to yourself (and all of us strangers on the forum) that you feel like you're settling. You deserve the best and you shouldn't feel bad about wanting it!

[Jayhawks]

Can you have a good marriage with someone without a lot of physical chemistry??

 

Do you think you can mask your sexual love for him? I think you are cheating yourself and him if you don't love equally. He will see sooner or later that your desire for sex is not as intense as his and he will blame himself first and you later. If you are a good actress you can keep it from him for awhile but unless he is an emotional retard he will start to wonder why he always has to initiate sex with you. He might settle for your lack of response for him because you have become comfortable with each other.

 

It might work but is it what you want?