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Engagement Ring


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 13th November 2018, 3:09 PM   #31
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I think the amount you spend should be in line with your overall lifestyle, not necessarily based on your income or how much you have in the bank. No matter how much money you have, I think it would be absurd for an engagement ring to be one of your most expensive/valuable possessions. Nothing wrong with wanting a nice ring that is in-line with your other blatant displays of material wealth - but if you're driving an old Kia, don't blow $20k on a ring.

If she happens to request something smaller and more humble than the dollar amount you settle on, that's okay too. My fiance was looking in the $2-3k range, but he asked me to show him examples of what I liked. I looked around and ended up falling in love with a delicate little ring that cost around $500. He was worried I'd regret not getting something bigger, but it's perfect. It's beautiful. I couldn't imagine wearing anything else. I wouldn't have turned down a bigger/more expensive ring if I really loved it and wanted to look at it every day, I just couldn't find one!
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Old 16th November 2018, 8:59 AM   #32
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Totally agree that it shouldnít be about the cost but about your lifestyles and tastes. I am not much of a jewelry person, and I would have loved anything he gave me, but he managed to get the perfect ring (for me). It is beautiful And something I can comfortably wear every day. Iím not a nurse and I donít work with my hands, but I would not have been comfortable with something that seemed absurdly expensive to me, even if it was insured. I just would not want to wear a down payment on my finger, you know?

My ring is gorgeous but not absurd. It is rose gold, which I love, with a delicate, elegant, unique setting. The diamond is beautiful and high quality. Itís the perfect size for my finger. I am guessing he spent somewhere around 4K, making it by far the most expensive piece of jewelry I own, but something we can still easily afford and I am comfortable wearing every day.
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Old 16th November 2018, 12:32 PM   #33
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My ring is gorgeous but not absurd. It is rose gold, which I love, with a delicate, elegant, unique setting. The diamond is beautiful and high quality. Itís the perfect size for my finger. I am guessing he spent somewhere around 4K, making it by far the most expensive piece of jewelry I own, but something we can still easily afford and I am comfortable wearing every day.

Mine is rose gold too! I love it. Such a gorgeous color.
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Old 27th November 2018, 11:32 AM   #34
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My husband said back in 2007 when he bought my engagement ring he spent around 900.00. It's a 0.65 CT princess cut, with a 14k gold band. I like it. But I'm not really materialistic so really I would have liked anything.

Last edited by TheRainbow; 27th November 2018 at 11:36 AM..
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Old 27th November 2018, 11:39 AM   #35
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I would propose with a simple diamond in a minimum of a .75-1 ct range.

Then she can choose a more elaborate setting if she would like (and more 'bling') or you can opt to get an eternity style band (if that fits more with her job) and you can always upgrade at a 5 or 10 year anniversary.
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Old 27th November 2018, 12:17 PM   #36
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How much doesn't matter at all. The cost of the same jewelry is different in different stores anyway. $100 or $100,000 will mean exactly the same to her if she loves you, plus she'd never know the cost anyway unless you tell her, which is very tacky.

What matters is you knowing her taste. Can you guess her ring size? Could you pick a metal that she like to wear? Does she like classic or modern designs? It is a test of knowing each other, just like birthday or Christmas gifts are. If you need to fish the information by asking her... the proposal loses it's value even if you spend your early salary on the ring. It is a matter of knowing your partner well more than anything.
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Old 27th November 2018, 4:58 PM   #37
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She sounds like a practical person who wouldn't even want you to do any more than you can afford and with kids, surely would rather the money go to just keeping the family in good health, etc. You don't have to spend a fortune. You don't have to get the diamond with the best clarity. Just get one that looks nice and sparkly. Get one you can add a band or two on to as you marry and anniversaries arrive. Her being a nurse, I doubt she can wear a big rock and work at the same time. I would get her one that didn't stick up too far because of her work, in other words, maybe not a "brilliant" that sits up in prongs.

That said, remember that diamonds aren't worth nearly as much as the gold, so try to find a place like a gold and silver place who sells them with that in mind. If you don't care whether you surprise her or not, sit down and look at a jewelry seller on the internet. I recently looked at diamonds just because I've always kind of wanted a baguette band and I saw some very nice rings for about $2000. Go on Google and search for engagement rings under $2000 and there's some sellers on there that have solitaires for $1500. I'm certain they're not the flawless diamonds. But again, diamonds aren't really worth much if you go to sell one, so as long as it's pretty....
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Old 2nd December 2018, 12:36 PM   #38
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So in short I am wondering what to spend on an engagement ring. I did the google search and didn’t great answers.

The longer story.

I met my absolute soulmate about a year and half ago. She’s beautiful, caring, genuine and is absolutely fantastic to me. She has kids and I do not. We put off meeting her kids until we were “certain” this would work. She spent many nights driving the hour to me to spend time with me. At times she would get her kids on the bus to school, drive to my place, then go back to get them off the bus just so we could spend a few hours together.

Luckily I know I love her and have been able to meet her kids. They are great and I want to spend my life with all of them. I say this just to point out exactly how much she has done for me.

We started out as friends for about 6 months and then fell in love. We have been dating for almost a year now. I absolutely love her and want to show my appreciation. I sold my house and moved in with her about a month ago and it’s time to pop the question. I have hinted st what she wants but get the same response “I want you to be happy”. Not much help. I know she just wants to be surprised. We are both 30 years old.

She’s probably middle of the road. She’s definitely not high maintenance nor “cheap”. She is an RN and I am an MD. She has 3 kids, I have student loans. We want to be financially stable and loans and kids take a toll. Still We are super fortunate that money really isn’t an issue since we both have great jobs. I have been able to pay my bills and now have about 50k in my savings account.

I absolutely love this girl. My dream girl never matched what I feel for her. I have also never been so appreciated or taken care of in my life ever. I want to provide her the world. The first step is the ring. I just don’t know what is realistic to spend. Help is appreciated.

This is tough. I feel like she is not helping at all. When I got engaged, I helped my boyfriend. We would visit retail centers that just so happened to have jewelry stores and I would point out the design I liked. He took it upon himself and take the idea of my design choice and match it to his budget. Nowadays this can be done online. She must know that but doesn't want to do that. She's either being overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much. If she's going to leave it completely up to you with absolutely no guidance on her part, then I'd shoot for something that avoids all extremes (unless you're confident she'll like something extreme). Something not too expensive, not too cheap, not too gawdy, not too simple.

Note: I just saw a commercial for this today and it made my heart skip a beat. I love most of these, but every woman is different with different taste. Remember that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dzKr9HfM4E


https://www.zales.com/collections/en....ds&loadMore=1

Last edited by snowcones; 2nd December 2018 at 12:38 PM..
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Old 2nd December 2018, 12:53 PM   #39
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This is tough. I feel like she is not helping at all. When I got engaged, I helped my boyfriend. We would visit retail centers that just so happened to have jewelry stores and I would point out the design I liked. He took it upon himself and take the idea of my design choice and match it to his budget. Nowadays this can be done online. She must know that but doesn't want to do that. She's either being overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much.

What??? I'm all for couples picking out a ring together if that's what they want to do, but I assure you that those of us who didn't do that aren't just "overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much". I personally don't pick out my own birthday or Christmas gifts for H to "give" to me either. The thought that he puts into choosing the gift means more to me than the actual gift itself.


You do you, but kindly refrain from making assumptions about other people's preferences.
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Old 2nd December 2018, 12:59 PM   #40
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What??? I'm all for couples picking out a ring together if that's what they want to do, but I assure you that those of us who didn't do that aren't just "overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much". I personally don't pick out my own birthday or Christmas gifts for H to "give" to me either. The thought that he puts into choosing the gift means more to me than the actual gift itself.


You do you, but kindly refrain from making assumptions about other people's preferences.

I don't pick out my own birthday or Christmas gifts either but I feel that a ring that I wear every single day is very personal and if I can give guidance and my guidance is desired (like in the OP case -he asked her and is asking us) then I'm going to give it and make it easier on him. Some guys just want their woman to be happy.
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Old 2nd December 2018, 1:00 PM   #41
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What??? I'm all for couples picking out a ring together if that's what they want to do, but I assure you that those of us who didn't do that aren't just "overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much". I personally don't pick out my own birthday or Christmas gifts for H to "give" to me either. The thought that he puts into choosing the gift means more to me than the actual gift itself.


You do you, but kindly refrain from making assumptions about other people's preferences.
I was pretty sure of what I wanted and picked out my ring.
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Old 2nd December 2018, 1:03 PM   #42
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I don't pick out my own birthday or Christmas gifts either but I feel that a ring that I wear every single day is very personal and if I can give guidance and my guidance is desired (like in the OP case -he asked her and is asking us) then I'm going to give it and make it easier on him. Some guys just want their woman to be happy.

But she has already told him what she wanted in order to be happy: "I know she just wants to be surprised". What's wrong with that?


If you have a specific type of ring/stone that you really want then of course you can and should pick your own ring, but many of us don't. I genuinely didn't mind what I got and it was nice to see what he decided to do of his own accord.
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Old 2nd December 2018, 1:09 PM   #43
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But she has already told him what she wanted in order to be happy: "I know she just wants to be surprised". What's wrong with that?

If you have a specific type of ring/stone that you really want then of course you can and should pick your own ring, but many of us don't. I genuinely didn't mind what I got and it was nice to see what he decided to do of his own accord.
Yes, one of my explanations was that "she doesn't care that much" but for some reason you didn't like that description, when it's exactly what you said in the bolded. The problem is, we don't know if she "doesn't mind" (I'll use your wording now). She also could mind or care and is testing him. She could be surprised in a good way or surprised in a bad way. We don't know.
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Old 2nd December 2018, 1:22 PM   #44
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Yes, one of my explanations was that "she doesn't care that much" but for some reason you didn't like that description, when it's exactly what you said in the bolded. The problem is, we don't know if she "doesn't mind" (I'll use your wording now). She also could mind or care and is testing him. She could be surprised in a good way or surprised in a bad way. We don't know.
Ah, sorry. You phrased it as "She's either being overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much", so it sounded to me like you were talking about the marriage, not the ring.
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Old 2nd December 2018, 1:33 PM   #45
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Ah, sorry. You phrased it as "She's either being overly cautious or doesn't really care all that much", so it sounded to me like you were talking about the marriage, not the ring.
Oh no....my bad, sorry for the miscommunication.
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