LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Getting Married

Engagement Ring


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

Like Tree36Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 7th November 2018, 3:35 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Sarah_Smiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Here....
Posts: 215
It shouldn't be as much about cost as it should be about the special moment unless she is very materialistic and wants a huge rock stunner on her finger to wave in others faces just get what you can afford at the moment and you can always upgrade on your anniversary time..if you wanted to. You know your SO, and what she would like, we do not.
Sarah_Smiles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2018, 3:41 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 199
It was so wonderful to read this. Makes a refreshing change for sure

You sound like an amazing partner which Iím sure your girlfriend really appreciates. Your job is to carry on being an amazing partner, the price of the ring really doesnít matter.

Sheís more likely to be focused on your ability to be a suitable step father for her children. The fact that you are and have fully accepted her children will be priceless to her. The rest wont matter.

Best of luck, Iím sure you will make the right decision with the ring ... oh and congratulations!
Calmandfocused is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th November 2018, 8:09 PM   #18
Established Member
 
elaine567's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 18,497
You need to go ring shopping together. There are engagement rings and engagement rings, there is a huge choice of styles and fashions change. Whilst I am sure no woman is going to turn down a big rock, if you have gone to all the bother of choosing it for her but you need to be pretty certain of her taste if you want her to wear it a lot.
Also it is all about the quality and cut of the diamond(s), you should really read up all about it before you tackle the shops.


cut, colour, clarity, and carat weight...
elaine567 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2018, 4:59 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 13,417
Congratulations OP. I would suggest you propose with a gumball machine ring and go shopping with her for the actual rock. How much you spend should depend on the type of woman she is. Practical or showy?
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2018, 8:36 PM   #20
LoveShack.org Moderator
LoveShack.org Moderator
 
Tristian's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2018
Location: A little off center
Posts: 183
After cleaning up some off topic posts I'll remind everyone that the question asked was what to spend on an engagement ring. Not whether or not to marry her.
Tristian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2018, 8:58 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 608
Nurses spend a lot of time washing their hands. Would she be wearing this ring to work or having to take it off all the time? What kind of woman is she? This would make a difference for me, personally. I wouldn't want a huge rock getting in the way at work every day. However, I do think you should probably spend at least 2-3k on the ring as a minimum.
healing light is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2018, 10:32 PM   #22
Established Member
 
major_merrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 2,429
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Guideline #1 only spend what you can afford

Guideline #2 educate yourself about the 4Cs: cut, clarity, color & carat. Carat, the size, is actually the least important.

Guideline # 3 Shop around & stay out the Mall. Those stores are a rip off.


The diamond industry will tell you to spend 2 months salary. That is ridiculous for an MD. Do take into consideration her job & the kind of jewelry you have seen her wear to get a sense of her style. Find something you like that you think she will like & buy that. Don't be cheap but you don't have to go overboard either. She needs to be able to wear this & still do her job. As soon as you buy it, get it added to your homeowner's insurance policy.

I think it depends on what you and she value. I come from a poor background. My husband comes from a middle class, but thrifty background. For us, two month's salary would seem absolutely ridiculous. He has a great job, and two months' salary could buy a rock too heavy to wear. For others, two months' salary is impossible to save and $100 is a stretch.

I look at it this way - an engagement ring is a test. It is a test of how well the guy knows his girl's tastes. What's her favorite color? Does she like expensive stuff or is she easily satisfied? What is financially reasonable? Can he guess her size or find a way to measure it without revealing what is going on? Going shopping for it together kind of defeats the test. Others may disagree, obviously. To me, it seems like going shopping together for the Christmas present you're going to get her - just lacking in class. It also seems to me that a woman demanding an expensive rock (even if the guy can afford it) also lacks class and seems grabby. A piece of jewelry shouldn't cause hardship...and getting married shouldn't be just for people who have money.

In my relationship with my husband, our engagement lasted about 40 days. It was pretty sudden, so he didn't have much time to pick the ring out. I have no idea how much it cost....I'm guessing somewhere between $500 and $1000. Not expensive, but exactly the kind of thing I feel comfortable wearing. I'm not a jewelry person, and I seem to damage just about everything. He got one that is pretty much indestructible, and small enough that it doesn't get in my way when I'm working.

One tip I've learned - don't buy at fancy stores and don't buy a ring labeled as an engagement ring. If you're getting a rock, get one that is a "birthstone" ring. Diamonds are the birthstone for April. Same design for the ring, but half the price. And you can get them in colors if your girl isn't the diamond type. Not all girls like diamonds! (I like rubies).
__________________
How could asbestos hurt you. I mean, it's got "best" right in it...
major_merrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th November 2018, 10:47 PM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,543
Given the dynamic of your situation, I’d start off small, ~$2K.

You can always add and adjust down the road...

Mr. Lucky
__________________
Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

Eleanor Roosevelt
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2018, 7:34 AM   #24
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,092
Quote:
Originally Posted by healing light View Post
Nurses spend a lot of time washing their hands. Would she be wearing this ring to work or having to take it off all the time? What kind of woman is she? This would make a difference for me, personally. I wouldn't want a huge rock getting in the way at work every day. However, I do think you should probably spend at least 2-3k on the ring as a minimum.
It may be better to leave it off at work, or just wear a band. I know a surgeon who left a very, very expensive ring on the scrub sink. Whoever found it never turned it in. Sad.
__________________
Well, bless your heart.
MidwestUSA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2018, 7:38 AM   #25
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nilfiry View Post
I have seen a few on amazon. I am not saying they are top tier quality, mind you. lol Best one was the $0.01 eternity ring with $0.99 shipping.
I found bands with dragon designs in different colors. I liked them so much, I bought three, and can match my ring to my mood, or clothing.

I spent a little more than you, $2 a pop (but free shipping! )
MidwestUSA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2018, 7:47 AM   #26
Established Member
 
elaine567's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 18,497
Quote:
Originally Posted by MidwestUSA View Post
It may be better to leave it off at work, or just wear a band. I know a surgeon who left a very, very expensive ring on the scrub sink. Whoever found it never turned it in. Sad.

She will not probably be allowed to wear an engagement ring at work if she is a nurse.
elaine567 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2018, 8:14 AM   #27
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,092
Quote:
Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
She will not probably be allowed to wear an engagement ring at work if she is a nurse.
I wore mine when I worked the floor, but not in surgery. I've not worked at a place with such a policy, but I can certainly see why it's a good idea. It doesn't take a huge rock to scratch a patient; I've done it.

I pulled off a bloody glove once after an emergency situation, and the watch I was wearing went right with it. Didn't realize it until it was too late. Now everything but my $2 band stays at home.
MidwestUSA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2018, 8:18 AM   #28
Established Member
 
todreaminblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: down under
Posts: 16,403
I agree with other posters about the rings cost not being as important as the sentiment.....the commitment...the joy of planning a life together...you thinking her kids are great and accepting them and her accepting you and feeling you will be good for her kids...they are all priceless sentiments

i feel how much you want to show her your love by how you speak of her and that is a very ....very....lovely thing to feel.so show that feeling to her in what you choose...... finding out what she loves like...... is she old school...does she like vintage or is she alternative and a free spirit....the diamonds are pretty for sure/....they look really pretty in loan shops twinkling away in the eye of some sad unfortunate divorce....which leads me to believe.....diamonds aren't always forever.....

actions AND REAL LOVE will be remembered and stay true and priceless far longer....research for her...find out her favourite metals gems styles...as a lover would want to do...(old fashioned or modern) get the ring engraved with something beautifully written and very personal to the both of you that sits on her skin unseen by anyone but always seen in her mind and imprints your love for her forever on her heart..

one of my alternate debs is waiting for the guy who writes namaste on the inside of a ring shaped like an eternity symbol without having to be told thats what he should buy so that is what i will say yes too... so yep not getting married in this life time.....smilin...im kidding....maybe not.....

.....i wish you all the very best....deb
__________________
Captive with chains held unbroken, in my fists
born by the lips i lose and lips that I've kissed.....

Last edited by todreaminblue; 9th November 2018 at 8:31 AM..
todreaminblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2018, 7:14 PM   #29
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: The most beautiful little country in the world.
Posts: 1,805
My son has just got his girlfriend a ring and is going to propose in about a weeks time. He has taken one of my mother's rings, she has an extensive collection of beautiful rings and told both my boys that if they wanted to propose to their girlfriends that they could pick a ring of hers.
My son chose a Ruby and Diamond ring, he plans on redesigning the setting as he is a designer. I think it's wonderful that this symbol of love from his Grandmother and Grandfather who have been married for over 50years is being passed on to them.
So my son hasn't spent a cent yet, until he redesigns it.
mrs rubble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2018, 5:22 AM   #30
Established Member
 
SolG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,047
I friend of mine who is a jewellery designer tells me that diamonds aren't necessarily the immediate go-to anymore - more and more people are apparently opting for coloured stones. Sapphires in particular.

Do you know what she likes, and have a sense of her style? IMO that's more important than the price range. That being said... spend what you are comfortable with.

You could opt for what my brother did. He chose and proposed with a 1ct diamond, and he and his wife then designed a ring for it together.
SolG is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Differences between "wedding ring", "engagement ring", 'promise ring", 'couple rings" HisPresence Dating 3 29th January 2015 1:40 PM
Ask bf to return engagement ring because I didn't like the ring. Marisa Getting Married 108 17th October 2007 8:58 PM
Don't like engagement ring...what to do??? Stuck Getting Married 11 24th December 2003 4:19 AM
Took back the engagement ring but I want her back, I love her very much. batman1670 Second Chances 1 28th October 2003 9:34 PM
The Engagement Ring FyrXscape Getting Married 8 26th July 2003 11:48 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:53 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.