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I think our engagement is on to a good start ** Updated **


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 22nd September 2018, 11:26 AM   #1
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Unhappy I think our engagement is on to a good start ** Updated **

Since we have Been engaged, that was Tuesday, he hasn’t been on any of his social media. That’s where he would like pictures and dm girls he sees on his TL including his ex. Now that he’s not getting on I think it’s him attempting to be dedicated to me and the engagement now.

He’s trying to take it more seriously. He hasn’t said anything about the engagement on Facebook like I have been doing but like I said he’s trying to not be tempted and that’s a gesture of love and commitment. I wonder how long he’ll stay off, hopefully longer.


[Background from other posting added by moderation]

-----No we do no live with his mother anymore. We have a little apartment in Missouri. We both work. He works at a gas station, kind of has a head position but he isn’t the manager. I work at a hotel. I have a CNA certificate from a Job Corp program. I didn’t finish highschool at an actually highschool I went to Job Corp instead.


https://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...ed#post7636483

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 22nd September 2018 at 9:40 PM.. Reason: Merged threads into GM and added background
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Old 22nd September 2018, 12:39 PM   #2
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Congratulations!


I hope he meets all your expectations and that your worries are unfounded.
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Old 22nd September 2018, 1:32 PM   #3
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Congratulations!


I hope he meets all your expectations and that your worries are unfounded.
Lol. You have some reading to do to catch up on a few things...

This post needs to be joined to the other discussion.
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Old 22nd September 2018, 1:36 PM   #4
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Lol. You have some reading to do to catch up on a few things...

This post needs to be joined to the other discussion.

I don't know the backstory but it's clear she has doubts about his ability to chase other women and succumb to temptation but she's willing to accept this uncertainty in her life so I wish her the best, what else can you do when someone is willing to settle for a person that is full of question marks and lacks a moral compass?
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Old 22nd September 2018, 2:05 PM   #5
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So how many carats?
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Old 22nd September 2018, 9:05 PM   #6
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Post I hope I donít end up being a victim of a thread like this

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/bre...ment-her-heart

It kind of makes me think about what you guys have said but I have hope.
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Old 22nd September 2018, 9:14 PM   #7
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[]

Just don't bring an innocent child into your situation.
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Well, bless your heart.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 22nd September 2018 at 9:46 PM.. Reason: Topical content
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Old 22nd September 2018, 9:45 PM   #8
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Moderation merged two threads on similar content into our Getting Married forum and the prior closing statement linked here:

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...ml#post7638143

....Still applies. That thread was closed with little editing or sanction. That was courtesy notice on our guidelines. Focus on the topic here and remain civil and respectful in all comments and follow forum policy if referring to past postings of any thread starter. Thanks!

Last edited by William; 22nd September 2018 at 9:49 PM.. Reason: Add link to policy
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Old 23rd September 2018, 10:16 AM   #9
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Honest question: what are you trying to prove by posting "positive" progress to your threads?

I think you are trying too hard to prove this relationship is good to us, absolute strangers, to defend and convince yourself that you are doing the right thing by staying in this. And hoping (probably 100% against hope) that it will work out in the long run.

I think if you are not going to follow the advice given to walk away from this relationship and go back home, then you should enjoy being engaged and stop trying to prove anything (i.e. no real reason to post). Time will tell what the end point is anyway; you've made it clear that you are going to proceed in spite of warning signs that bother you and that others say will not baud well with this guy. No one has a window into the future. With their advice they are just trying to protect you from what is not a good situation based on what you have conveyed. If you believe in this relationship, you should go enjoy it. Because you wouldn't need anymore advice or reassurance would you?

Or you can answer the real question: why is your instinct asking you to get reassurance from complete strangers when things are going exactly as you think you wanted?
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Old 23rd September 2018, 12:50 PM   #10
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So 6 days with no messaging of exes is an accomplishment......?


If this is the level of expectation that you have now, I'd really hate to see how your standards are after you've been together for a few more years.
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Old 27th September 2018, 12:08 AM   #11
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Unhappy He doesnít want to with planning the wedding

We plan on getting married in April or May and Iím trying to start early and get everything together and he told me to do all the planning and that he was just gonna show up the day of the wedding.Are most men like this and just allow you to plan the whole thing? It seems stressful.
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Old 27th September 2018, 12:35 AM   #12
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Are most men like this and just allow you to plan the whole thing?
Hi Destini, I don't know if most men are like this.

However, when I was engaged, my expectation was that she would want to plan all of the wedding details. It doesn't mean I wasn't excited, nor that I didn't want to participate in planning. My understanding was that women get excited about planning all of those details. Why did I think that? Well, our society supports the idea that this is a "woman thing". How many bridal magazines are there? Probably many dozens? Now how many groom magazines are out there? None? In movies, women excitedly talk about wedding details, but men aren't shown to do that.

My suggestion is that you talk with your fiance and explain that you would like to share the planning tasks equally with him. Once he understands your desires, he should want to help you.

I'm sorry that you are feeling so much stress. I can imagine it would be hard. If you have family who can assist as well, you might consider asking them for additional help.
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Old 27th September 2018, 2:11 AM   #13
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Seven weeks ago, you posted that you were crazy to think you could change him. Now you've moved away from family, and are planning a wedding alone.

I'll say it again, don't get pregnant.

While you do the planning, he'll be trying to hit his ex up for sex.

Please go home to your family!
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Old 27th September 2018, 8:11 AM   #14
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We plan on getting married in April or May and Iím trying to start early and get everything together and he told me to do all the planning and that he was just gonna show up the day of the wedding.Are most men like this and just allow you to plan the whole thing? It seems stressful.
Many men want to be a part of the wedding planning, will have some opinions, and will be excited to participate in the wedding.
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Old 27th September 2018, 8:14 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Destini View Post
We plan on getting married in April or May and Iím trying to start early and get everything together and he told me to do all the planning and that he was just gonna show up the day of the wedding.Are most men like this and just allow you to plan the whole thing? It seems stressful.
No! Be happy he said that now you get to have everything you like and the way you want it. What a doll.
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