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Prenup agreements

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Old 18th August 2018, 7:19 AM   #1
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Prenup agreements

What’s the general feelings about not marrying unless a prenup agreement is signed ? Trying to protect ones assets from calamity an issue ?
How many of you would agree to signing a prenup agreement ?
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Old 18th August 2018, 7:28 AM   #2
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they are good things

Most people don't like them.

DH & I have one. The amount of work that has to be done to put one together correctly & the amount of disclosures / discussions that have to happen made it the best pre-marital exercise we did. It forced us to talk about difficult subjects especially finances. Stuff that is usually secret & unspoken came out into the open. We learned that we could talk about anything & that we were willing to work together, to compromise, to plan to fight for our marriage. I said repeatedly I'd rather have these difficult conversations when we loved each other, were willing to compromise & wanted to make things work because I don't understand how people can talk about this stuff in the heat of divorce when everybody hates each other. Because we created a pre-nup I felt like we did our best to inoculate ourselves against divorce.

Understand these documents have ever diminishing enforceability. The longer you are married, the less valid they are due to changed circumstances. They also cannot be used to decide child care or custody.

In addition, good lawyers charge a lot to create pre-nups. Make sure you genuinely have enough assets to make it worth it to protect them. You both have to have your own counsel. You both have to make disclosures. There should be give & take. You can't shove a document down the other person's throat the day before the wedding.
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Old 18th August 2018, 10:15 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Honda750 View Post
How many of you would agree to signing a prenup agreement ?
I think it depends where you are in life. 50 years old, second marriage and you both bring substantial assets and existing children, makes sense.

25 years old and you're both starting life together, I'd question your motives.

So it would take more context to give you an answer...

Mr. Lucky
Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

Eleanor Roosevelt
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Old 18th August 2018, 1:47 PM   #4
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Unless one is worth a few hundred million (nearly a billion in today's money) like Steve Jobs was at 25.

I mention that because since the advent of IT back in the 50's/60's, there have been many young millionaires and billionaires.

In general, though, I use the one percent rule. If it costs me ten grand to protect a million, that's cool. Two percent, maybe. Five percent if it's really an ironclad long-term deal. With marriages, there's always changes so ongoing modifications to both prenup, wills and trusts. Gotta figure it all in.
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Old 18th August 2018, 2:30 PM   #5
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I do not plan to get married, but I'd definitely use one if I were to do it.

For me, the comfort brought on by knowing that I am safe and that my financial stability is not in jeopardy in case of a divorce, would totally be worth the money to create a pre-nup.
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Old 18th August 2018, 11:42 PM   #6
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I am all for them. No one, whether a male or female, has any right to something that someone else had before they ever knew the other individual was even born.
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Old 22nd August 2018, 7:56 PM   #7
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If I were super-rich, I might insist on one. Right now, no ... but I don't have the kind of assets where I would feel victimized in a divorce.

Now I'm a guy ... and you're asking what if I wanted to marry a woman with some real financial wealth, how would I react if she requested a prenup?

Hmmmmm ... Depends on the prenup. I definitely don't want to enter a marriage thinking I'll be "rewarded" if I stick it out for ten years or 15 years.

So I am not sure how I would react. Depends on how she would present it ... and how much money she's trying to protect and all of that.

I guess I'm of the point of view that marriage is about full sharing ... and I don't want to marry someone well off based on a prenup ... and I'm not sure I would insist on one if I were suddenly well off.

I think the best guideline here is to be really really honest about how you feel ... if you want a prenup, own up clearly to the reasons why ... if you are being asked to sign a prenup and you don't feel comfortable, I'll hang in that discomfort rather than rushing past the discomfort to marry. In other words, if my gut was to resent the prenup, then I would not marry.
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Old 22nd August 2018, 10:07 PM   #8
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what donnivain wrote above ...made me see pre nups in a new a way to get to deal with tough areas sort of pre marriage counselling .... understanding where your partner stands on finances and related issues and most of all marriage and who they really are sounds really positive.,...everyone should do that first.,,.,,

i also feel divorce if it should happen heaven forbid though..... should be as calm and smooth and least hurtful as possible to both parties...if a pre nup helps that horrible happening to be not as painful...then im for a pre nup as a security and peace of mind to one or both a method of controlling another making another feel less than who they are and what they do and could bring to a marriage taBLE.,...the answer would always of course be a marriage or the pre-nup.....but if discussions were to be had as donnivain did....then i feel you know for sure if the partner you are with true...and will be true to you and you to them...and hopefully with gods willing support and grace a pre nup will never have to be acted upon.....deb
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Old 23rd August 2018, 11:53 AM   #9
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Just as a note to keep things in perspective - please also realize that many people on LoveShack have been burned a few times. I think the replies here are good, but there is a giant segment of the population not represented here as well.

I don't know. On the one hand, I don't like the idea of a prenup. Either you're serious about being married, or you're not.

That said, I do like what D0nnivain wrote about it prompting some frank conversations, while emotions are warm, about tough subjects.
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