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Don't Want a Big Wedding

Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 9th October 2018, 12:26 PM   #76
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Leigh 87's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 13,456
Originally Posted by clia View Post
I'm very surprised to hear you say this, given how extensively in previous threads (particularly when you were trying to figure out what to do for a living) you've talked about how important it was for you to have a career, work full time, and be able to support yourself. To drop all of that when you are seemingly so close to the finish line and your degree (and to say you don't give a crap about it) almost makes it seem like you never really wanted to have to work full time at all. Assuming you do get pregnant in the next year or two, do you think you will ever actually work as a podiatrist?

But anyway, you seem to be somewhat missing the point. It's not just about 6k. You started this thread acting like 6k was a tremendous amount of money to spend, when in reality (as pointed out by several people) it is not a huge amount to spend on a wedding (comparatively speaking) and is nothing in the grand scheme of the tens and hundreds of thousands you will spend raising a child over the course of their life.

It's good that you recognize you should start saving, but I wonder why you haven't started that yet? You keep telling us how much money your fiance makes, and how your focus is saving, but your most recent post indicates that you aren't actually doing that -- you are still spending money on luxuries rather than necessities (e.g. expensive dog food, expensive groceries, etc.) It certainly doesn't seem like saving is your focus right now. And although you talk about making sacrifices in the future, I wonder how realistic that is really going to be for you. How much do you anticipate you will be able to save? Do you two have a budget? Have you tried going through it to see what you can eliminate and to try and formulate a savings plan? You don't need a financial advisor to do this -- and in fact, one of the first things a financial advisor is going to want you to do is put together a budget.

All of that said, at the end of the day, poor people have children, too, so on your fiance's salary you can absolutely raise a child.
The two things I have learnt for sure about myself is:

I want a professional job

I want kids more.

Marriage is very meh whatever. I want it but it comes last on my list of dreams.

Will still be getting married on the cheap but could never accept sh*t food at our wedding so....
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