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Backing out of wedding party?

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Old 19th August 2017, 12:26 PM   #16
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My wife unilaterally "solved"'this social dilemma. How? She is "lending" him some of the money for this <}< trip. Explained as follows. The boys are lifelong friends. Roommates at college. The guys have all been in each others' weddings. It may be the last wedding when they get together. He feels very bad that his finances are such that going to Cabo is a hardship.....

All of which is true. But in my mind somewhat irrelevant.

I asked her whether she had considered asking me about her becoming the lender of last resort. She said she didn't think she had to since she already knew what I thought about this extravaganza and knew what my position was.

If my son had asked for a loan, I would have hit the roof. But dear old Mom made the offer all on her own. Just another example of marital democracy at work: in a tie vote the husband loses. Travel is one of her Five Love Languages. I learned the lesson Dorothy did--there's no place like home.
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Old 19th August 2017, 8:56 PM   #17
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Don't be too hard on his mom. Her heart was in the right place. On your deathbed, the money won't matter; knowing your son spent time with his buddies & was there to support them, that will matter. Assuming the basics are covered (food shelter etc.) material possessions don't add to happiness but experiences do.
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