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Anyone sick of spending money yet?


georgia girl

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georgia girl

I seriously told my fiance the other night that we could take a ROCKIN' month-long honeymoon with the money we're spending. I'm so ready for the day to finally get here. Love him, can't wait to be married but seriously doubting the money we're spending...

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doublescorpio

I understand it is a wedding, but why are you spending as much as you are then? Did you have a budget and stay within it? I would much rather spend the money on my partner and I, we are planning a city hall wedding followed by a two month long travel date. This was a conscious decision and had its reasons, one that may not work with other couples.

 

However the view I have on weddings is unusual and unfortunate, I work in media and marketing and I know exactly what kind of devious planning goes into duping women through these things. I am not saying everything wedding has a woman duped, I mean that the wedding industry is multi-billion and they have spent over half a century perfecting their craft. They get women when they are children as young as 5 years old and let the brainwashing rip from there. Now that I have seen the *********s and tactics behind the industry I cannot allow myself to partake in it and give them my money.

 

My advice to you if you are feeling badly over the money you are spending is see where at this point you can cancel/scale back, and also to decide 'who' the money of that particular service is for. Sure, everyone wants their guests to have a great time, but in my opinion a wedding isn't meant for the guests to claim how great the food was or flowers were, it is to comment on how great YOU are and to see all your friends/relatives. Details end up being forgotten anyway. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when I hear about the food from a wedding, for goodness sakes go to a restaurant if you want to eat, not a wedding! Food ends up down the pipes in six hours anyway, a good couple and sincere wedding ends up lasting a lifetime... But being in debt from a wedding may lead to a relationship going town the pipes too.

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georgia girl

Actually, we do have a budget and will likely come in under it. I'm just cheap, I guess. I want the church wedding because my marriage and my faith are so important to me. But like you said, it seems like such a racket. This is certainly not going to break us or even change our lifestyle at all, it's just that we're old (nearly 40) and I think it gives you a different perspective. I'm not entirely tied up into the romance of a picture-perfect wedding. I want a nice, simple wedding. It's just that every once in awhile throughout this process, I wish someone wouldn't be asking for money. Sorry, just a rant from a cheap old lady.

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Lauriebell82

Heck yeah i am sick of spending money!!! We aren't even paying for most of it and we are still forking out tons of money. When you tell vendors that you are calling for a wedding they automatically mark up the price by like 50%!!! It's insane.

 

I'm a bargain bride so I really do research to find the best deal. It's STILL major dough even with a great bargain!!! I can't wait till the wedding is over also so we can stop spending half our paychecks!!!

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You can make wedding invitations at home on your laptop and printer.

You can make a playlist on your ipod and link to speakers, so you don't need a dj or band.

No one cares about your flowers, so no need to spend a down payment on a car for them.

No one cares about those little "takeaways" from the reception...does anyone even like Jordan almonds or those meltaway mints?

Some of your best photos will be the candid shots taken by your guests, so you can contract for limited picture taking of the wedding party and reception. You don't need the photographer there all night.

Food and drink -well, you can spend a little or a lot, depending on how fancy you want to make it.

 

All of these are choices. People choose to spend an arm and a leg because they want the "special" event.

 

One of the best weddings I ever went to was held in the church with a small reception at the bride's parents' modest home. Everyone was relaxed, kids running around inside and out everywhere, music on the stereo, buffet (food and desserts brought by family members), beverages, dancing in the yard...it was sweet and lovely and hardly cost a thing. And, the couple is still married 20 years later.

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I told my (now) wife that sure, I'd get married if she wants... but, I'm not spending money on anything except the bar tab.

 

Luckily it was a Laos wedding and the tradition is to give cashola.... Her mother paid for everything except the booze and at the end of the wedding we had collected about 15 grand in cash! Gave it to her mum and i'm sure she came out ahead.

 

I don't know what the moral of my story is.... ask for cash and marry an asian?

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Sure, everyone wants their guests to have a great time, but in my opinion a wedding isn't meant for the guests to claim how great the food was or flowers were, it is to comment on how great YOU are and to see all your friends/relatives. Details end up being forgotten anyway. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when I hear about the food from a wedding, for goodness sakes go to a restaurant if you want to eat, not a wedding! Food ends up down the pipes in six hours anyway, a good couple and sincere wedding ends up lasting a lifetime... But being in debt from a wedding may lead to a relationship going town the pipes too.

 

I agree. Have you ever watched "Platinum Weddings" and the couples go on and on about how they want to "wow their guests". Why? Isn't the wedding for the bride and groom, not the guests. I feel it should be an honor to watch your friends and family take their vows without expecting anything in return.

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Yeah.

sorry, I have zero sympathy here.

 

You want the works, the whistles and bells and the whole nine yards?

Then expect to pay for it, and quit complaining.

Nobody's holding a gun to your head and making you do this...

 

(unless of course, it's a 'shotgun wedding'....!):p

 

You want 'top quality'?

 

Then expect to pay for it.

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I am tired of spending the money but that's because I am cheap and I worry about money and spending to much.......

 

It is her second and my first but still when we started talking about this a long time ago (the wedding is July 2010) I was standing firm on not wanting a BIG production. I would have been just as happy going in front of a JOP and doing the deal..... I even went as far as to say I didn't want a reception dinner........ After all it is her second like i said so her parents are not paying for ANYTHING! We are paying for it all out of our pocket..... My mother and father are helping some.... Needless to say (my fault) But I caved on everyone of my sticking points and now the bills are rolling in. LOL I guess I have all ready learned if momma isn't happy no one is LOL.......

 

 

:D

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SuburbanOblivion
You can make wedding invitations at home on your laptop and printer.

You can make a playlist on your ipod and link to speakers, so you don't need a dj or band.

No one cares about your flowers, so no need to spend a down payment on a car for them.

No one cares about those little "takeaways" from the reception...does anyone even like Jordan almonds or those meltaway mints?

Some of your best photos will be the candid shots taken by your guests, so you can contract for limited picture taking of the wedding party and reception. You don't need the photographer there all night.

Food and drink -well, you can spend a little or a lot, depending on how fancy you want to make it.

 

All of these are choices. People choose to spend an arm and a leg because they want the "special" event.

 

One of the best weddings I ever went to was held in the church with a small reception at the bride's parents' modest home. Everyone was relaxed, kids running around inside and out everywhere, music on the stereo, buffet (food and desserts brought by family members), beverages, dancing in the yard...it was sweet and lovely and hardly cost a thing. And, the couple is still married 20 years later.

 

 

This sounds EXACTLY like our plans. Getting married in the gazebo in the local park, with a potluck reception/pool party afterward with friends and family.

 

You know what is going to be special about our wedding? We are making this completely our own, from the clothes to the vows. None of it will be in any way traditional.

 

I think that's really what bothers me most about weddings today. White dress + church + flowers + catered reception + cake = Wedding.

 

People follow the equation to the letter because they want the day to be 'special'. I guess if their idea of 'special' means "just like everyone else's ", then I guess 'everyone' has their 'special' day.

 

/sarcasm

 

 

Sorry, my personal pet peeve.

 

Point being, spend what you want, but make it yours. Don't spend money on things you think you 'should have' because you think people expect them.

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Not really, because I'm only spending on things that we really want and like. What I am super sick of is dumb questions from people like "OMG! You're not even inviting 100 people to the wedding?! Why such a small wedding??"

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......"Because I only have a small wallet. care to contribute? No? Thought not....."

:laugh: :laugh:

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......"Because I only have a small wallet. care to contribute? No? Thought not....."

:laugh: :laugh:

 

:laugh::laugh: It's not even that! I don't have a huge family. All of our family and close friends are coming, we're just not super close with 100s of people :laugh:

 

At least the stupid questions are an easy way to weed out the crappy vendors.

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Ah, I get it.....

 

"Well, did you get your invitation?"

"No, I didn't....."

There you go. How to keep the numbers down. Don't invite the idiots....."

 

Alternatively, if they say -

"Yeah, I did, thanks!"

"Curious.... I thought I'd left jerks off the list....."

 

That way, at the christening, you can cut it down even fewer......:laugh:

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Have you ever watched "Platinum Weddings" and the couples go on and on about how they want to "wow their guests".

 

I'm probably going to get sh*t for this but that show just makes me feel poor and depressed.

 

Of course I know that it's not about the materialistic stuff, my marriage and future husband are top priority, but seeing these brides spend way more on jewelry than I am on my entire wedding makes me sad.

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I'm probably going to get sh*t for this but that show just makes me feel poor and depressed.

 

Of course I know that it's not about the materialistic stuff, my marriage and future husband are top priority, but seeing these brides spend way more on jewelry than I am on my entire wedding makes me sad.

 

Why would it make you sad, A? Would you spend that money on a wedding, even if you had it to spend? I won't.

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Why would it make you sad, A? Would you spend that money on a wedding, even if you had it to spend? I won't.

 

I don't think I could, unless I really had endless amounts of money. Maybe I'm just in a mood today because I've seen the show before without feeling like this. It just makes me feel plain poor.

 

I've also been trying to figure out what kind of jewelry I want to wear and I don't want anything ugly or cheap. And, I had to return the shoes I bought because they looked like crap in person.

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I've also been trying to figure out what kind of jewelry I want to wear and I don't want anything ugly or cheap. And, I had to return the shoes I bought because they looked like crap in person.

 

Major bummer about the shoes... but you have plenty of time to find another pair, right?

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Major bummer about the shoes... but you have plenty of time to find another pair, right?

 

Yeah, but I haven't seen anything I like :rolleyes:

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Lauriebell82
I'm probably going to get sh*t for this but that show just makes me feel poor and depressed.

 

Of course I know that it's not about the materialistic stuff, my marriage and future husband are top priority, but seeing these brides spend way more on jewelry than I am on my entire wedding makes me sad.

 

HAHA, that show is crazy!!! The amount of money they spend on decor is more then our wedding is even going to cost combined!!!

 

Very few people in the world can afford "platinum weddings." Personally, I think you can have a beautiful wedding on a budget..we are!!!

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Lauriebell82
]I've also been trying to figure out what kind of jewelry I want to wear and I don't want anything ugly or cheap. And, I had to return the shoes I bought because they looked like crap in person.

 

I found BEAUTIFUL jewelry at JCPenny. It looks expensive but was not at all!!!

 

I'm such a bargain hunter, you can find beautiful stuff if you put in the work and do the research. I have put a lot of time into finding bargains, yes it is still expensive, even a small wedding is! But it makes me feel good to find a good price on something. Our venue told us that the usual cost that a couple will spend on a wedding there including everything is $40,000!!! We are doing it for like half of that!

 

Sorry about the shoes. Did you order them online? I was going to do that but someone told me that I should go to a store and try them on. Some shoes are so freakin uncomfortable and they make them look nice in the pic on the internet.

 

I got mine at Payless for $20! They are so beautiful. I actually bought them for a wedding that I am in 2 weeks from now. The bride told me that I didn't have to dye them so I could wear them at my own wedding. She's so sweet.

Edited by Lauriebell82
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Yeah, but I haven't seen anything I like :rolleyes:

 

Honestly, what about the Manolo Blahnik rhinestone buckle d'orsay? In an ivory? Or the knockoff of it (there are so many doing it)?

 

Or the Martinez Valero Crystal? Or the Kate Spade Lover?

 

I got mine at Payless for $20! They are so beautiful. I actually bought them for a wedding that I am in 2 weeks from now. The bride told me that I didn't have to dye them so I could wear them at my own wedding. She's so sweet.

 

I could never do that - both where they came from, and especially wearing them before the wedding. They're supposed to be SPECIAL. But to each their own...

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Lauriebell82

 

I could never do that - both where they came from, and especially wearing them before the wedding. They're supposed to be SPECIAL. But to each their own...

 

Actually Payless has some very nice shoes. They are nicer then anything I have seen at bridal stores..and half the price! Why is it okay for Allina to get knock off version of shoes, but you look down at me buying shoes at Payless? Hmm...probably because you like her!

 

I don't see what is wrong with wearing the shoes for my wedding also. I personally think it will be MORE special because they will have sentimental value from TWO very special days. I guess I'm just not picky about that sort of thing.

Edited by Lauriebell82
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HAHA, that show is crazy!!! The amount of money they spend on decor is more then our wedding is even going to cost combined!!!

 

Very few people in the world can afford "platinum weddings." Personally, I think you can have a beautiful wedding on a budget..we are!!!

 

Oh, absolutely! I'm having a stunning wedding for a reasonable price, and I don't think you have to spend a fortune for am amazing wedding. I was just feeling like it would be awesome to not have to think about money and have anything I want.

 

I found BEAUTIFUL jewelry at JCPenny. It looks expensive but was not at all!!!

 

I'm such a bargain hunter, you can find beautiful stuff if you put in the work and do the research. I have put a lot of time into finding bargains, yes it is still expensive, even a small wedding is! But it makes me feel good to find a good price on something. Our venue told us that the usual cost that a couple will spend on a wedding there including everything is $40,000!!! We are doing it for like half of that!

 

Sorry about the shoes. Did you order them online? I was going to do that but someone told me that I should go to a store and try them on. Some shoes are so freakin uncomfortable and they make them look nice in the pic on the internet.

 

I got mine at Payless for $20! They are so beautiful. I actually bought them for a wedding that I am in 2 weeks from now. The bride told me that I didn't have to dye them so I could wear them at my own wedding. She's so sweet.

 

Wow! A huge wedding for 20k?! That's awesome LB, you must be a great bargain hunter.

 

I did order the shoes online. I often order shoes online and it's usually a success. However this time around it just didn't work. The shoes looked cheap and weren't comfortable.

 

I don't think I could go for payless wedding shoes.... But that's awesome that you got such a great deal on shoes you will wear more than once.

 

Honestly, what about the Manolo Blahnik rhinestone buckle d'orsay? In an ivory? Or the knockoff of it (there are so many doing it)?

 

Or the Martinez Valero Crystal? Or the Kate Spade Lover?

 

 

I like the Monolos but I have those in black already, I wear them often to "elegant and adult" events :laugh: I'm not crazy about the other two. I'm considering Gracious, by Kate Spade.

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