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Anyone sick of spending money yet?


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Old 16th April 2010, 9:33 PM   #1
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Anyone sick of spending money yet?

I seriously told my fiance the other night that we could take a ROCKIN' month-long honeymoon with the money we're spending. I'm so ready for the day to finally get here. Love him, can't wait to be married but seriously doubting the money we're spending...
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Old 18th April 2010, 8:08 PM   #2
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I understand it is a wedding, but why are you spending as much as you are then? Did you have a budget and stay within it? I would much rather spend the money on my partner and I, we are planning a city hall wedding followed by a two month long travel date. This was a conscious decision and had its reasons, one that may not work with other couples.

However the view I have on weddings is unusual and unfortunate, I work in media and marketing and I know exactly what kind of devious planning goes into duping women through these things. I am not saying everything wedding has a woman duped, I mean that the wedding industry is multi-billion and they have spent over half a century perfecting their craft. They get women when they are children as young as 5 years old and let the brainwashing rip from there. Now that I have seen the *********s and tactics behind the industry I cannot allow myself to partake in it and give them my money.

My advice to you if you are feeling badly over the money you are spending is see where at this point you can cancel/scale back, and also to decide 'who' the money of that particular service is for. Sure, everyone wants their guests to have a great time, but in my opinion a wedding isn't meant for the guests to claim how great the food was or flowers were, it is to comment on how great YOU are and to see all your friends/relatives. Details end up being forgotten anyway. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when I hear about the food from a wedding, for goodness sakes go to a restaurant if you want to eat, not a wedding! Food ends up down the pipes in six hours anyway, a good couple and sincere wedding ends up lasting a lifetime... But being in debt from a wedding may lead to a relationship going town the pipes too.
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Old 22nd April 2010, 5:30 PM   #3
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Actually, we do have a budget and will likely come in under it. I'm just cheap, I guess. I want the church wedding because my marriage and my faith are so important to me. But like you said, it seems like such a racket. This is certainly not going to break us or even change our lifestyle at all, it's just that we're old (nearly 40) and I think it gives you a different perspective. I'm not entirely tied up into the romance of a picture-perfect wedding. I want a nice, simple wedding. It's just that every once in awhile throughout this process, I wish someone wouldn't be asking for money. Sorry, just a rant from a cheap old lady.
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Old 22nd April 2010, 5:33 PM   #4
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sorry... what's 'money'...?
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Old 22nd April 2010, 5:40 PM   #5
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Heck yeah i am sick of spending money!!! We aren't even paying for most of it and we are still forking out tons of money. When you tell vendors that you are calling for a wedding they automatically mark up the price by like 50%!!! It's insane.

I'm a bargain bride so I really do research to find the best deal. It's STILL major dough even with a great bargain!!! I can't wait till the wedding is over also so we can stop spending half our paychecks!!!
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Old 22nd April 2010, 5:56 PM   #6
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You can make wedding invitations at home on your laptop and printer.
You can make a playlist on your ipod and link to speakers, so you don't need a dj or band.
No one cares about your flowers, so no need to spend a down payment on a car for them.
No one cares about those little "takeaways" from the reception...does anyone even like Jordan almonds or those meltaway mints?
Some of your best photos will be the candid shots taken by your guests, so you can contract for limited picture taking of the wedding party and reception. You don't need the photographer there all night.
Food and drink -well, you can spend a little or a lot, depending on how fancy you want to make it.

All of these are choices. People choose to spend an arm and a leg because they want the "special" event.

One of the best weddings I ever went to was held in the church with a small reception at the bride's parents' modest home. Everyone was relaxed, kids running around inside and out everywhere, music on the stereo, buffet (food and desserts brought by family members), beverages, dancing in the yard...it was sweet and lovely and hardly cost a thing. And, the couple is still married 20 years later.
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Old 22nd April 2010, 8:49 PM   #7
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I told my (now) wife that sure, I'd get married if she wants... but, I'm not spending money on anything except the bar tab.

Luckily it was a Laos wedding and the tradition is to give cashola.... Her mother paid for everything except the booze and at the end of the wedding we had collected about 15 grand in cash! Gave it to her mum and i'm sure she came out ahead.

I don't know what the moral of my story is.... ask for cash and marry an asian?
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Old 22nd April 2010, 8:52 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by doublescorpio View Post

Sure, everyone wants their guests to have a great time, but in my opinion a wedding isn't meant for the guests to claim how great the food was or flowers were, it is to comment on how great YOU are and to see all your friends/relatives. Details end up being forgotten anyway. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when I hear about the food from a wedding, for goodness sakes go to a restaurant if you want to eat, not a wedding! Food ends up down the pipes in six hours anyway, a good couple and sincere wedding ends up lasting a lifetime... But being in debt from a wedding may lead to a relationship going town the pipes too.
I agree. Have you ever watched "Platinum Weddings" and the couples go on and on about how they want to "wow their guests". Why? Isn't the wedding for the bride and groom, not the guests. I feel it should be an honor to watch your friends and family take their vows without expecting anything in return.
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Old 23rd April 2010, 1:33 AM   #9
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Yeah.
sorry, I have zero sympathy here.

You want the works, the whistles and bells and the whole nine yards?
Then expect to pay for it, and quit complaining.
Nobody's holding a gun to your head and making you do this...

(unless of course, it's a 'shotgun wedding'....!)

You want 'top quality'?

Then expect to pay for it.
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Old 23rd April 2010, 7:53 AM   #10
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Well

I am tired of spending the money but that's because I am cheap and I worry about money and spending to much.......

It is her second and my first but still when we started talking about this a long time ago (the wedding is July 2010) I was standing firm on not wanting a BIG production. I would have been just as happy going in front of a JOP and doing the deal..... I even went as far as to say I didn't want a reception dinner........ After all it is her second like i said so her parents are not paying for ANYTHING! We are paying for it all out of our pocket..... My mother and father are helping some.... Needless to say (my fault) But I caved on everyone of my sticking points and now the bills are rolling in. LOL I guess I have all ready learned if momma isn't happy no one is LOL.......


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Old 24th April 2010, 12:47 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by norajane View Post
You can make wedding invitations at home on your laptop and printer.
You can make a playlist on your ipod and link to speakers, so you don't need a dj or band.
No one cares about your flowers, so no need to spend a down payment on a car for them.
No one cares about those little "takeaways" from the reception...does anyone even like Jordan almonds or those meltaway mints?
Some of your best photos will be the candid shots taken by your guests, so you can contract for limited picture taking of the wedding party and reception. You don't need the photographer there all night.
Food and drink -well, you can spend a little or a lot, depending on how fancy you want to make it.

All of these are choices. People choose to spend an arm and a leg because they want the "special" event.

One of the best weddings I ever went to was held in the church with a small reception at the bride's parents' modest home. Everyone was relaxed, kids running around inside and out everywhere, music on the stereo, buffet (food and desserts brought by family members), beverages, dancing in the yard...it was sweet and lovely and hardly cost a thing. And, the couple is still married 20 years later.

This sounds EXACTLY like our plans. Getting married in the gazebo in the local park, with a potluck reception/pool party afterward with friends and family.

You know what is going to be special about our wedding? We are making this completely our own, from the clothes to the vows. None of it will be in any way traditional.

I think that's really what bothers me most about weddings today. White dress + church + flowers + catered reception + cake = Wedding.

People follow the equation to the letter because they want the day to be 'special'. I guess if their idea of 'special' means "just like everyone else's ", then I guess 'everyone' has their 'special' day.

/sarcasm


Sorry, my personal pet peeve.

Point being, spend what you want, but make it yours. Don't spend money on things you think you 'should have' because you think people expect them.
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Old 25th April 2010, 3:15 PM   #12
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Not really, because I'm only spending on things that we really want and like. What I am super sick of is dumb questions from people like "OMG! You're not even inviting 100 people to the wedding?! Why such a small wedding??"
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Old 25th April 2010, 3:19 PM   #13
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......"Because I only have a small wallet. care to contribute? No? Thought not....."
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Old 25th April 2010, 3:25 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by TaraMaiden View Post
......"Because I only have a small wallet. care to contribute? No? Thought not....."
It's not even that! I don't have a huge family. All of our family and close friends are coming, we're just not super close with 100s of people

At least the stupid questions are an easy way to weed out the crappy vendors.
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Old 25th April 2010, 4:46 PM   #15
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Ah, I get it.....

"Well, did you get your invitation?"
"No, I didn't....."
There you go. How to keep the numbers down. Don't invite the idiots....."

Alternatively, if they say -
"Yeah, I did, thanks!"
"Curious.... I thought I'd left jerks off the list....."

That way, at the christening, you can cut it down even fewer......
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