kernisha Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 I AM GOING TO PLAN A WEDDING BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW IF THIS MAN REALLY LOVES ME OR IF I REALLY LOVE HIM. BECAUSE SOMETIMES HE MAY DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME MAD AND I WILL SAY THAT IAM NOT MARRYING ANYBODY, BECAUSE IAM UPSET WITH HIM. PLUS NOW HE IS SAVED AND THINGS SEEM TO BE GETTING OUT OF HAND . WHAT SHOULD I DO? HE HAS MOVED TO THE OTHER ROOM IN THE HOUSE,HE HASN'T BEEN HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE, I HAVE TO ASK HIM TO DO DIFFERENT THINGS THAT HE WOULD DO BEFORE. ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS WORK ON THE COMPUTER WITH HIS MUSIC STUFF. PLUS HE FOUND OUT THAT THE CHURCH MEMBERS WERE FASTING AND HE WAS LIKE I WAS TO LET HIM KNOW SO HE COULD DO IT,BUT THE WAY THINGS WORK IF YOU MESS OUT THEN THAT YOUS LOST . I CANT TAKE THE RAP BECAUSE HE IS NOT ATTENDING MEETINGS ABOUT THE CHURCH. BUT I GOT OFF THE SUBJECT BUT PLEASE RESPOND AND GIVE ME SOME ADVICE Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 If you aren't sure of somebody, DON'T marry them. From what you describe, this is certainly not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. You should spend some time thinking hard about how he is and if you want to live with him for the rest of your life. It doesn't even sound like you love him all that much. So exactly why did you get engaged anyway? What is it that you admire about him? Do you admire more about him than you dislike? How might he change in the future in negative ways? Is he a really good friend? Does he listen to you? Is he willing to make changes to make the relationship better? Is he generous or is he selfish? Is this the guy you want to be the father of your children and to live with all the rest of your days on this planet? Don't ever plan to marry anybody unless you are absolute positive beyond all doubt that you want to dedicate your life and love to that person. You have not written a terribly romantic story here. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 I AM GOING TO PLAN A WEDDING BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW IF THIS MAN REALLY LOVES ME OR IF I REALLY LOVE HIM. You should not marry him if there is doubt. You seem to mention a lot of problems you two have in your relationship. I think you need to reconsider the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 It is MUCH easier to dissolve a relationship before the marriage. You can always change your mind at a later date but if you are not POSITIVE that you want to be with this man FOREVER (caps just to get the point home), then call the wedding off now. Pre-wedding, you should be happy, thrilled, delighted, and excited at the idea of spending forever with this guy. Obviously, you are none of the above. Remember, they don't change for the better once you marry them. The day after the wedding, he will be exactly the same person he was the day before; sometimes it only gets worse so if you have someplace in your mind the idea that he will become the ideal husband once the ring is on, forget it. Not gonna happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Carly Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 How about reading some of the posts here on separation and divorce? Particularly the ones where kids are involved in a loveless marriage. These true testimonials should scare your head straight. Keep the faith. Link to post Share on other sites
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