lexi29 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 What do you do with people's kids at the reception? I have never been to a wedding that included children except for my sister's and the only two kids that she allowed were the ones actually in her wedding party. They were age 12 and 5. They were very well behaved. I would prefer to have NO kids (except for my bf's son and our flower girl at the wedding. Those two are best buddies and would keep eachother entertained. However, my fiance has 4 brothers all who have like 4 kids each!!! (Well one only has two but the other three have 4 kids) The kids range in age from 2 years to 16. I don't mind the ones who are 14 and up (only two) because I think they will act appropriately. However I don't want my reception to consist of 12+ little kids running around screaming and acting like holy terrors. I'm most worried about his youngest brothers 4 kids. They are all under 10 years old and whenever they come over to the house (which isn't often) they TRASH the place. I mean it looks like an entire kindergarten class on speed has been there. They act like brats and don't listen to anyone. Its not their fault. It is their parents' fault because they never taught them any better. On my side- in my family I have 2 cousins I am going to ask to be in the wedding. They both have young children (one's will be a year old and the others are 3 and 5 yrs old (all little boys who like to run around and be loud and just be boys) I am hoping my cousins will just have their exes (kids fathers) watch them but who knows. I also have another cousin I am inviting to the reception and she has two little boys. One of my aunts has 3 kids (oldest is 13, and two twins who are ten). Also my best friend has a 3 year old son. He is the cutest little boy but he is rotten and likes to run around, make noise etc. She attended another friend's wedding and left him at home (a no kids allowed wedding) but if we invite my fiance's family's children I'll have to let her bring her son as well if she wants to. So there will be 20 + kids at my reception!!!! Also I have no idea if any of these people my in laws are planning to invite have children. The place we are having our reception is only one large room with a kitchen attached and two small bathrooms. There is a large dance floor area and a big enough area for the food tables etc. but no where we could set something up to entertain the kids. How does one plan/deal with kids at the reception? Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 yikes! Fotunatly I don't really have to deal with this as my cousins haven't started having kids yet. and I am the oldest. so there will be 4 kids total. 2 13 year olds and 2 10 year olds. My Aunt (who hosted her sons wedding) Set up a babysitter at her house for the kids and had a "pizza party" for them after the ceremony. COuld you do something like that. Many of my friends have had no kid weddings. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Are the guest with kids coming from out of town? If they are, it sometimes puts a big burden on them if you don't invite the kids because then they have to find overnight childcare if the kids stay home. I know this is a personal preference issue, but you could just shrug your shoulders and decide to live with it. Weddings are set up to welcome the new couple into the community, and kids are part of that community. If you can't live with it, here are some other options: Hire a sitter to entertain the kids at another location, like an indoor hotel pool or a movie. Let the kids attend but offer prizes (bribes) to the best-behaved kids. Assign the kids tasks at the reception, such as taking pictures with disposable cameras, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexi29 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 Actually the only ones coming from out of town are my parents and my sister (and neither has kids) Everyone with kids will be driving maybe 1/2 hour if that to get there. And actually I said there would be twenty kids- I forgot his best man has 3 kids and another groomsmen has two!!! So all together there will be almost 30 kids there! I am going to go crazy and then I won't have to get married:p Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 :eek:30 kids! I have never been to a wedding where there were that many kids! Thats a significant proportion of our guestlist, we are not having any children at our wedding. I have even been to weddings where there was a flower girl and maybe another little boy or something but thats it, all the other kids weren't invited. I have been to others that had a house where all the kids went and someone looked after them for the night. Its your wedding, your parents are paying for the catering- 30 kids is alot, and they will want something different to what the adults eat- I say you restrict the numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
Kalamazoo Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 25 children isn't really a big deal, I have a VERY large family, so when someone has a wedding there are usually 25 children or more. From my experience the kids weren't really a problem at all, they just danced and played games with each other. The older kids usually tend to babysit the little ones as well. My uncle decided a few years ago that he didn't want children at his wedding and there were a lot of guests that were resentful for having to find other places for their children to go (especially because most guests had travelled long distances) But what it comes down to is it is your wedding, so good luck with your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 lol, don't invite people if you don't want the whole family to come - it defeats the purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 lol, don't invite people if you don't want the whole family to come - it defeats the purpose. I think you can have restrictions on things, especially if you have a limited budget- why should you stretch yourself financially to accommodate people who ultimately don't really care if they come or not? .. I have cousins who I don't even know- I would rather my friends came to my wedding than people I hardly know and little kids who don't give a monkeys about me. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Every family wedding I've ever been to has included all the kids of all ages, and I don't recall there ever being a problem. The parents are responsible for looking out for their children, and they do seem to understand they are at a special event so they don't act like they're on the playground. It's your choice, of course, but honestly, I just don't remember any issues with the kids being there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexi29 Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 Every family wedding I've ever been to has included all the kids of all ages, and I don't recall there ever being a problem. The parents are responsible for looking out for their children, and they do seem to understand they are at a special event so they don't act like they're on the playground. It's your choice, of course, but honestly, I just don't remember any issues with the kids being there. Thats interesting to me because I have been to several weddings and the only children there were maybe one or two that were in the wedding party. Otherwise children were excluded and no one (that I know of) didnt' show up because of that fact. The reception hall is one big room so there really isnt' anywhere for the kids to get together and play or anything. As far as their parents being responsible for their children, that is my biggest worry. My fiance's brothers don't seem to control their children anywhere else so I can only imagine what trouble they will cause at the reception. At my sister's bridal shower her friend brought her two year old and he spent the whole time banging pots and pans around that he found in the kitchen area and popping the balloons we used to decorate with. Her friend kept appologizing for his behavior but didn't stop it. If everyone who is invited brings their children there will be about 35 kids there!!! (and these are all kids under 12 years old.) If not for the kids we would only have about 100 people invited which would be easier to pay for and there wouldn't be the stress of worrying about the kids running around or messing things up. (I'm not including my fiance's son in this or the flower girl because I know they will both behave) Link to post Share on other sites
Shellz937 Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Kids aren't really an issue at weddings. From what i've seen they usually find the dance floor and like to dance and play on that. Usually the parents before hand threaten the crap out of them before they arrive. But try this, have a basket full of tiny bubble tingies. Kids love these things and they occupy themselves with it. Congrats btw Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I've been to weddings where the parents did monitor their children, and others where they didn't make their kids behave. Plus, many ceremonies and receptions are too long for small children anyway. You could have an adults only wedding, but as you're having children in the wedding party, some people might feel you're favoring certain parents and not others. Why not have an adults only reception? Put "Adults only reception" on the invites, and mention that you will be providing a nanny or babysitter for the duration of the reception. Some parents will make their own arrangements or use your sitter's services. I don't think the majority of people will mind if you let them know in advance; it's nice to have a night out without the kids at times. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Thats interesting to me because I have been to several weddings and the only children there were maybe one or two that were in the wedding party. Otherwise children were excluded and no one (that I know of) didnt' show up because of that fact. The reception hall is one big room so there really isnt' anywhere for the kids to get together and play or anything. As far as their parents being responsible for their children, that is my biggest worry. My fiance's brothers don't seem to control their children anywhere else so I can only imagine what trouble they will cause at the reception. At my sister's bridal shower her friend brought her two year old and he spent the whole time banging pots and pans around that he found in the kitchen area and popping the balloons we used to decorate with. Her friend kept appologizing for his behavior but didn't stop it. If everyone who is invited brings their children there will be about 35 kids there!!! (and these are all kids under 12 years old.) If not for the kids we would only have about 100 people invited which would be easier to pay for and there wouldn't be the stress of worrying about the kids running around or messing things up. (I'm not including my fiance's son in this or the flower girl because I know they will both behave) I don't know the answer. My family is mostly immigrants, pretty much every younger couple has two kids, plus their friends also have children. It would be unthinkable for one of us to have a wedding and not invite the children - they are part of the family. Yes, they usually play around the dance floor and even do some dancing (soooo cute!), and the toddlers might fall asleep at some point (and that's often when the parents take them home). But I just don't remember any mayhem like them ripping apart decorations and whatnot. Have you discussed this with your fiancee? Does he have an opinion? Link to post Share on other sites
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