L0vewh0Re69 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Hello all, I am so glad that I f0und this site.... this is s0mething I think I really need right n0w. But anyway...to my point. My boyfriend, William, and I have been serious/exclusive/in l0ve for a little over a year n0w. I've kn0wn him since 7th grade and we dated once bef0re at 15. Anyway, this time ar0und, we have gr0wn to have the m0st beautiful r0mantic relationship and spiritual, strong friendship. HOWEVER (lol), we went through a little bit of turmoil in the past months that I predominantely blame on myself and feel terrible for. In the past month everything has caught up to William and he is now feeling too hurt to be with me, like too much damage has been done. I understand him, mostly. Two days ago, we broke up.... as much as I would like to call this a "break", it is and it isn't. William still l0ves me deeply, and I l0ve him. We both cried tremendously during the break up and there is no doubt we have something special. After we talked he took me to the park where we first met, and carressed me. He told me that he planned on us getting back together... we just needed to take some time right now. I agree, and this made me feel a little better. Here are my concerns, and what I need help with. William is trying to transition us into friends right now, and obviously this is very difficult for me. I'm in love with this man. It is sometimes very difficult to look at him/talk to him and hold back things I never had to hold back before. I can't grab him and smother him with kisses. I can't tell him I love him every min of the day. I have barriers now, and it's hard! Last night I found it within myself to make the best out of this situation, taking this as an opportunity for growth and rebuilding, both individual and in our relationship. I don't want my emotions to cloud rational thought, because trust me I've done more crying this month than I'd care to admit!! =] Anyway.... it's like no matter how "okay" I feel with the situation (in some respects I truly do) I can't stop bringing it up to him! I can't stop talking about how I wish things were, and he hates it! I fear I may push him away.... I truly do, and its scary. So.... I need guidance and help on how to give the man I love what he wants/needs right now. He needs me to be his best friend right now, and I need help on doing this before I push him further away and possibly lose him. I never thought I would feel this way..... I've always been the overly strong "independent woman", lol. But anyway... there are more people who have been and/or are in my same position than I thought, and I would like to hear from everyone!! Please help me do the right thing and make the best out of this I can for both of us. Thank you!! x0x0 Delana P.s. This may sound funny... but I can't finish without mentioning it. William and I had a very active/wonderful sex life, and that is something I wasn't going to let go of, whether we are together or not. I talked to him about this, and he seems to be fine with it (no surprise lol) I've never continued sex with an "ex".... I'm not exactly worried about it, I just don't want to set myself up or make an unwise decision. Thanks so much guys!! x0x0 Link to post Share on other sites
sirjay Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 My ex says she wants to be my "best friend" too. I don't know if I can do that, seriously. There are different opinions on how to do this. There is definitely an idea that if you want someone back properly, you shouldn't "half give" yourself to them because you don't give them any reason to miss you or to want all of you. I don't know what I think about that. I think the tendency is for people to hang on to which bits they can. Certainly, its human nature to want what you cant have and if you told him no to friends and to have some time to consider what he wants without you, i think you would probably give him more reason to want you, not less. Link to post Share on other sites
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