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"Friend" Confusion

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 4th October 2005, 7:31 PM   #1
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"Friend" Confusion

I have been friends with this girl for as long as I can remember. We tell each other everything and go to each other for advice. Over the summer, I really started to like her a lot. She is easy to talk to, I'm comfortable around her, and she's really attractive. I found out later that she liked me during the summer as well but we just never told each other. We made out twice but we still never furthered our relationship. Now, I still like her a lot but she doesn't like me anymore. Instead she likes my best friend. The only talk on the internet, which is childish, and hang out on the weekends sometimes. She calls me every single night and we talk for atleast an hour about everything. We also hang out more than her and my friend do. She says she doesn't like me but still calls me everyday. I have no one to talk to about this situation because I would usually talk to her or my best friend about this kind of thing. I've tried to get over her but every time I try avoiding her she either calls me or I talk to her at school, because our lockers and next to each other. When I see her and talk to her I'm happy but then I feel like crap because I think of the situation I'm in. There is tension between my friend and I and we've been in numerous arguements. I'm just so frustrated and fed up with this whole thing. Anyway you look at it, I get screwed somehow. So please help, what should I do to make her feel the same way and still maintain my relationship with both my friend and her?
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Old 7th October 2005, 6:47 PM   #2
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Hey thanks for the advice on my post. I'll try to reciprocate, although I think most of us are in the same boat. First off, I've kind of been in a situation like yours. One of my best friends and I were after the same girl. To be honest, it is a no win situation. At least in my case it was. How old are you? You might be in high school. Me and my friend competed for this girl when we were in hs and it messed things up between us. Temporarily. Once we were older we realized that no high school girl was worth all the bs. As far as you wanting to have cool relationships with your boy and this girl, I'm not sure if that is conceivable. It can be done, but at your expense.
Perhaps I shouldn't be giving any advice because I am just as screwed up with my "friend". Just giving you something to think about.
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Old 9th October 2005, 5:03 PM   #3
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Thanks, that does help. I told her how I felt about her and nothing really changed except she knows for sure now that I like her. She calls me basically everyday again. I still like her alot and get pissed when I hear of my friend hanging out with her or see them together. Also, he's been lying to me telling me he can't doing anything and then going to a movie with her. What the hell is up with that? And one last thing, it makes me angry how he is so shy and awkward around her that he has to have one of his other friends (also my friend) and his girl friend go out with them. They are both too shy to go out by themselves with them so they rely on each other which is so childish. I know were still in highschool but girls stopped having cooties in 3rd grade for christ's sake. This whole thing is ridiculous. I'm just gonna keep being her friend and see what happens. There's nothing really I can do.
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