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Not sure if this personal trainer at my gym was interested?


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There is a personal trainer at my gym who trains my brother. Ever since i started going to the gym he always stared at me when i entered and i've seen him trying to make eye contact with me when i'm around. It took him a few months to say hi. He asked my brother questions about me and asked him whether I’m a shy person as he thought I acted shy. Since i tutor he said he thought i must be clever and patient to do that (seems like he was trying to figure my personality out). I am not big headed but i constantly get complimented on the way i look by people, I am bored of it so it's nice when people want to know what I'm like. Surprisingly he approached me after a few months and asked me how i am. It was a little awkward with silence and then he asked me if i'm using a particular piece of equipment which I was not- quite obviously using. He still continued to watch me in the gym a few times but never bothered to talk.

 

I was curious about him as my brother told me he comes across as reasonably straight forward and nice (but you never know.)

 

 

To try and break the ice again my brother asked him if he wanted to model and give me a picture to draw for practicing drawing the Male anatomy for my art class- since he is very muscular hahaha. My brother sent him the picture that I drew and he said he was amazed by it and thought I was very talented. He told my brother he showed it to his family who thought it was great too. (All my friends also said the picture I drew was amazing too.)

 

 

 

The PT then asked my brother for my Instagram as he wanted to give me a shoutout in his stories. He tagged me and followed me, I was rather embarrassed- so I responded and said ‘it’s not that good but ok lol’. He had seen the message but didn’t reply for days or try to make a conversation even though he had been active on Instagram so many times. He always replies to my brother within 10 minutes even if it’s for a chat. I am confused as all the signs at the gym were that he wanted to converse with me yet he seemed like he couldn'y care less on instagram. None of his behaviour add up and why he even bothered to get on my instagram. Is he playing a game? He seems quiet in person yet he's made me think he's not nice now.

 

 

 

 

I have to face him at the gym now. Do you think this is a guy who is a player and very egotistical?

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Unless he actually takes the initiative to ask you on a date all the rest of this is relatively meaningless. He's some guy you know. There may have been a bit of flirting but there doesn't seem to be any follow through

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I actually blocked him on instagram as it seemed he didn't want to talk. Not a fan of mixed signals anyway, but i just wanted opinions!

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Your post sounds vaguely familiar with another lady who posted here with a very similar issue. I think the PT has had more than enough time and opportunities to ask you out if he were interested in you in a romantic way. He doesn't seem to be. Maybe he's interested in your brother since he is chatting him up more than you.

 

Oh I see this is the same poster. No he isn't interested.

Edited by stillafool
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No I do not think he is....you are just seeing a guy that is unsure of you because you are not giving him much indication you are interested. Guys go for girls that are out going, smile a lot, have something witty and flirty to say. You sound like you are like sitting on you tuffet hoping he will come your way. It doesn't work like that...you need to get in his space, smile at him every time he looks over at you, like you are flattered. Give him light touches while you are talking to him, putting your hair behind your ear, look up at him submissively.....ya gotta play it up or the guys sit back and think you don't car much.

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I bet his instagram is related to his trade. If so, it's quite normal to work at gaining instagram followers in order to gain business. He talks with your brother because he's a client. People with business related instagrams don't have time to talk with all and sundry who want romantic interactions. So basically, you blocked him because he's not romantically interested. Burning bridges with people who've done you no harm isn't a great way to live life.

Edited by basil67
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Nope. Because I'm against women being objectified so i didn't think it went in line with my morals. Not because he's not romantically interested- just because i don't think he's polite to not respond. If he's so professional he wouldn't be eyeing me in the gym and then talking to my brother about me- he can talk to me directly. Why have me on his instagram if he never wants to communicate with my directly, but about me with my brother. Makes no sense really.

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You're against women being objectified. But you had no problem drawing him and admiring his muscles. Double standards much?

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@kayb26

 

His Instagram IS business. NOT personal.

 

Stop with your obsessive thoughts and seek therapy please?!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Art is not sexualising someone and reducing them to a sexual object. Someone who's liking on multiple pictures of women every hour who are posing erotically and as an accessory is. It would be a different story if the women weren't botoxed and half naked. He has an addiction. Masking it as a business page. Anyway i have my answers from other forums, this one is not very useful.

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But still you have been obsessing over this guy for a long time. I remember your other threads about whether he is interested or not. He is not, he's had plenty of time to come on to you and he hasn't budged; no matter what he says to your brother. If you don't like him looking at you, change gyms or don't look in his direction. He probably is looking at you watching him.

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Art is not sexualising someone and reducing them to a sexual object. Someone who's liking on multiple pictures of women every hour who are posing erotically and as an accessory is. It would be a different story if the women weren't botoxed and half naked. He has an addiction. Masking it as a business page. Anyway i have my answers from other forums, this one is not very useful.

 

Some consider beautiful female bodies as art.

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Art is not sexualising someone and reducing them to a sexual object.

 

If you weren't objectifying him, why the comment on his muscles? I would bet you weren't appreciating those from a purely artistic angle. You were perving while drawing = sexual objectification. Also, you told us that you blocked him because he wouldn't talk to you. Now you're telling us that you blocked him because he liked other women's photos too often. Changing the story half way through doesn't add to your credibility.

Edited by basil67
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If he's so professional he wouldn't be eyeing me in the gym and then talking to my brother about me- he can talk to me directly. Why have me on his instagram if he never wants to communicate with my directly, but about me with my brother. Makes no sense really.

 

He is not eyeing you up in the gym though.

Or private messaging you.

That IS being professional.

Professionals will add clients on their Instagram , to be professional , not to chit chat!

Instagram IS picture based and NOT about direct communication. That is what email is for.

 

He I assume hasn’t added you on more personal social media sites such as snap chat or fb. That’s your BIG hint that he is NOT interested in you.

 

Are YOU interested in him?

Do you believe he will even notice that you are no longer following him on Instagram?

Did you do it for you or him?

 

If you genuinely feel threatened or uncomfortable by his supposed eyeing you up , then change gym or report him to management.

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salparadise
If you weren't objectifying him, why the comment on his muscles? I would bet you weren't appreciating those from a purely artistic angle. You were perving while drawing = sexual objectification. Also, you told us that you blocked him because he wouldn't talk to you. Now you're telling us that you blocked him because he liked other women's photos too often. Changing the story half way through doesn't add to your credibility.

 

Isn't it interesting how this attraction/obsession has an antagonistic component? She clearly craves his attention, yet blocks him, complains about him eyeballing her from afar and talking to her brother. Makes you wonder... if he were to hit her up what would she do with it? I don't believe there is any way he could approach in a way that would be satisfactory and appreciated. This thing is a tug-o-war.

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There doesn't seem to be a tug of war. This obsession has been going on since 2017, the guy is not interested.

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Isn't it interesting how this attraction/obsession has an antagonistic component? She clearly craves his attention, yet blocks him, complains about him eyeballing her from afar and talking to her brothe.

 

It is interesting to a degree!

The OP appears to be convinced about her thoughts yet there is nothing logical about them and certainly nothing to back them up!! Her initial posts were complaining about him eyeing her up as if it was untoward. She remains at the same gym , despite initially posting that he was creepy , and a year later blocking him on Instagram because he didn’t speak to her???

 

OP, please realise that this guy is NOT interested.

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