Juggernut23 Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Soo I got drunk at a fire last night and was overtly hitting on a female friend. Only known each other for a couple months. Wasn’t anything crazy just called her boo and babe, relatively innocent. She wasn’t flirting back (then again our other friends were there so that could be a factor) This morning she texts me, we planned on doing something today, she was following up. I took a while to respond (was kind of embarrassed from the night before). When I did respond she goes “heyyy you”. We chatted then I said if “Sorry If i hit on you last night, I’m the biggest perv when I drink”. She responds “Lol all good”. I tend to over think **** and have bad hang over anxiety. Not really socially awkward but I’m generally a shy anxious person and had to learn social skills the hard way later in life. So It’s probably a dumb question but I need my reassurance right now!! This hangxiety is killin me I play **** up in my head all the time so it may not have been as bad as I’m making it out to be. My question is, is her response generally positive? Because I do have feelings for her that sorta came out. My general understanding is if a dude you’re not interested in hits on you, doesn’t that generally deter girls away? Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Her response is very positive. You were drinking. She knew that. You got flirty. She didn't storm off. In the cold sober light of day she is resuming your friendship. You apologized. Put it behind you & carry on. If you continue stressing about it & focusing on it, your inability to move forward not the drunken flirtation will be the death of the friendship. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 (edited) I agree. And the fact that she reached out to you first.....maybe she's into you and wanted to be hit on! I think you're fine....put the matter behind you and enjoy your day. Hydrate. Edited May 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 (edited) now you just have to show her you are a perv when sober and all should be good Edited May 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 She used three y's. She totally wants the D. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 We chatted then I said if “Sorry If i hit on you last night, I’m the biggest perv when I drink”. She responds “Lol all good”. I do have feelings for her that sorta came out. If you do have feelings then your reply above was pretty bad. You apologised for hitting on her which pretty much says you have no interest in her and hitting on her was a mistake. You have now completely friend-zoned yourself. If your objective was to maintain a friendship and nothing more then you need to listen to what she said, which is that it's all good, and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 sounds to me like she was digging it 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 If you do have feelings then your reply above was pretty bad. You apologised for hitting on her which pretty much says you have no interest in her and hitting on her was a mistake. You have now completely friend-zoned yourself. Eh, I disagree. He apologized for making his feelings known in a sloppy way, in my opinion. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 If you do have feelings then your reply above was pretty bad. You apologised for hitting on her which pretty much says you have no interest in her and hitting on her was a mistake. But it's easy to fix. If he does like her, he can hot on her more eloquently while sober & all will be well. If he just moves on & resumes the friendship that will be OK too Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 I agree with Pete if some guy was hitting on me whilst drunk and then essentially took it all back when sober I would strike him off my "maybe interested" list right away. Slightly humiliating for me, so he would be put straight into the strict friend-zone, if that... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 If I was into a guy and he said that to me the next day...I would be disappointed. It would mean he hits on girls when he is drunk so it really had no meaning hitting on me. OP you need to stop being a coward. Unless you were making her upset, you don't apologize for anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 (edited) ^^^This, This, and especially this!!!!! Edited May 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 If I was into a guy and he said that to me the next day...I would be disappointed. It would mean he hits on girls when he is drunk so it really had no meaning hitting on me. OP you need to stop being a coward. Unless you were making her upset, you don't apologize for anything. Totally agree. Talk about buzz kill. She went to a party and a guy she respects enough to be a friend flirted with her. Even if she wasn't interested, she had to feel good about herself drawing the affection and attention of a man. Then you go all "wow I was so drunk" on her as if you are trying to excuse yourself for even being attracted to her (e.g. wow, I sure had some beer goggles on last night!). Probably too late to fix but next time something like this happens, a good way to address is would be to say, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night. You're a very beautiful woman and I think a lot of you and I let the moment carry me away". And you only do that if she voices that you made her uncomfortable or something to that effect. See how that validates her but also lets her know that you respect any boundaries she might be putting up as well as respecting her as a person? Best of luck! Mrin 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juggernut23 Posted May 22, 2019 Author Share Posted May 22, 2019 Haha honestly I can’t even hate on that because it’s good advice. I have a bad habit of second guessing women’s intentions. She just called me asking to go to dinner tonight, after the original plan fell through sooo gonna step it up a notch. She seemed more cheerful than usual and giggly over the phone so I’m Feeling good. Not coming back on here till I make a move. Won’t be a p*ssy I swear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 don't apologize for this sort of s*it....it's not becoming 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Haha honestly I can’t even hate on that because it’s good advice. I have a bad habit of second guessing women’s intentions. She just called me asking to go to dinner tonight, after the original plan fell through sooo gonna step it up a notch. She seemed more cheerful than usual and giggly over the phone so I’m Feeling good. Not coming back on here till I make a move. Won’t be a p*ssy I swear Right on! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Given her response, you're in the clear. Most people will be chill about it given the circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Dude, hitting on someone is acting like a perv? ... Are you serious? As soon as she contacted you first with the friendly greeting, that was your cue that you could possibly CONTINUE to flirt. Are you interested in her or not? She seems like she's interested in you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 I agree with the others: think she is interested in you. Having had friends that this situation happened to (and me), the fact that she followed up with you the next day instead of avoiding you means at the very least you haven't harmed the friendship AND probably that she is interested. She is checking to see if you sober thoughts match what you did when you were drunk (that's probably her fear is that it's not specific to her that you are just all over girls when drunk)--so she is checking. If you're interested, you better keep the momentum going now and without alcohol to show her that you are ACTUALLY interested in her. I think the fact that you made this thread means you probably are. Good luck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
greenlights0000 Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Well if you only like her as a friend, then apologizing wasbthe way to go. However if you do seem interested in her more than that, apologizing for hitting on her, like another poster said you friendzoned yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (edited) MATE SHE USED THREE Y'S WHAT ARE YOU DOING APOLOGIZING :laugh::laugh: I'm just gonna drop this right here: It's been almost two weeks since the proposed dinner and no sign of OP, anyone wanna place bets on whether dinner went well? Can we do that here? Edited June 3, 2019 by crispytoast Link to post Share on other sites
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