LilySun Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 I have a long time FWB. We also care about each other alot but its just a complicated relationship. Recently I expressed a tad of jealousy about a very beautiful lady he will have to work with on a project for work. They will have to work quite closely for this also. So he knows how I feel but he didnt comment on it ...then I also felt kinda stupid for mentioning it and figured I shouldnt have becuz that implies I want our relationship to be more serious, perhaps. So this weekend I went on a get away trip with a girl friend. He knew it was only her and I. I just wanted to send him a sexy photo of sorts so she helped out and took the pic for me. He liked it but then he asked...so who took the pic? Why would he ask this knowing I who I was with? Did he think that I hooked up with a guy on the trip? I am just starting to wonder if our feelings for each other are more than we thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Nic86 Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Approximately, how long have you been seeing him for? Do you do anything else together besides sex? If you're interested in more than a fwb with him, and he hasn't clearly 'defined' where you stand, I would rather take the risk and ask him where you do. It's hard to know exactly, without knowing some more information about what you do together, how often you see each other etc. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 FWBs are for sex only and aren't supposed to get jealous and possessive or what is the point? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 1, 2019 Author Share Posted April 1, 2019 We call each other best friends so its more than sex. We text almost everyday and support each other, etc. It has been this way for a few years because we were friends only before this. And we do things together besides sex. We enjoy just hanging out and talking sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Oh, everyone's human. I hate you're playing this LWB game with someone you want more from, and he may be also, though just because he might be momentarily jealous doesn't mean he wants to obligate and commit himself to you. Please remember that. There's lots of both men and women who under certain circumstances will be jealous if a person moves on and sees other people -- even after they have rejected them. Why? Because they would prefer to think they are so attractive and great that the person is still pining after them. Don't make too much of it. But if you want a relationship, tell him, I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be happy with FWB. I'm starting to want a relationship. Do you ever think about actually being a couple, or should I look elsewhere? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 1, 2019 Author Share Posted April 1, 2019 Question isnt where we stand because we have talked about that. Its just that he has never questioned me or acted jealous before , plus it happens to occur only a couple days after I did the same. I am only wondering why he would ask who took the picture when he knew I was with a girl friend...is this an act of jealousy or not? I am just curious because this would be a new thing coming from him and I have known him for many years. Does it mean it would bother him if I said a guy took the picture? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Sure, it would be a hit to his ego. Does that mean he wants to marry you and be with you as a couple or that he thinks of you as wife material? Absolutely not. You say you're best friends. So talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Also knowing who your sex partner is sleeping with is a form of protection - against STDs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 1, 2019 Author Share Posted April 1, 2019 We only refer to it as fwb because we were just friends several years before sex started. Sometimes in conversation we call it a relationship, we have even discussed what living together might be like. I just wonder what it means if I act jealous and then he does too, this is the 1st time for both of us, its never been that way before. What does that say about our feelings for eachother? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 That's a good discussion to have with him the next time you see him. Only the two of you know what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 1, 2019 Author Share Posted April 1, 2019 That's a good discussion to have with him the next time you see him. Only the two of you know what you're doing. But if I bring this up later that will just sound like an accusation that he is jealous. If it was in fact that he wasnt direct about it, I just find it interesting that he would say that about my pic I sent him. Its been a few days so it seems silly to suddenly ask him about this now. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 (edited) We call each other best friends so its more than sex. We text almost everyday and support each other, etc. It has been this way for a few years because we were friends only before this. And we do things together besides sex. We enjoy just hanging out and talking sometimes. What’s the difference between this and dating? People often confuse jealousy for love. It means nothing. One has nothing to do with the other. If you want to know if he loves you and if he wants more - a much more reliable way to know would be to ask him. Edited April 1, 2019 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 1, 2019 Author Share Posted April 1, 2019 (edited) What’s the difference between this and dating? People often confuse jealousy for love. It means nothing. One has nothing to do with the other. If you want to know if he loves you and if he wants more - a much more reliable way to know would be to ask him. Agreed I just wish I knew why this suddenly happens because it never has before. Since knowing him he never expressed any amount of jealousy what so ever. Its out of character for him, so I just wonder why the sudden change.. Edited April 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator fixed quote Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 All he did is ask who took the picture. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 2, 2019 Author Share Posted April 2, 2019 All he did is ask who took the picture. But Idk why because he knew exactly who I was with....I was posing a sexy way on the bed and she took the pic. I was doing it just for him and he liked it but immediately asked who took it, I thought its a strange question becuz again, he knew what friend I was with for the weekend. So Idk why he'd think anyone but her took the picture. If he wondered it's a guy then its all new behavior for him after sleeping with me for a few years now, for him to imply or think I might be hooking up with someone else or what not. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 What answer are you looking for here? It could have just been an idle question without even thinking. I am pretty sure he did not think you had a guy in the room and got sexy and then took a photo of it to send to him! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 He said probably wondering why the heck you asked your friend to take a sexy photo of you on a bed... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 2, 2019 Author Share Posted April 2, 2019 He said probably wondering why the heck you asked your friend to take a sexy photo of you on a bed... She is a professional photographer...so it was just an idea we had. I have sent him many sexy pics before but they were selfies....so I guess he just wondered how it was done even though that should have been obvious already... Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 You sound very young and immature. No one can exactly say what's in his mind. You definitely want more. Stop this nonsense of reading into if he is jealous and trying to make him jealous. Ask him if he is interested in real dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 3, 2019 Author Share Posted April 3, 2019 You sound very young and immature. No one can exactly say what's in his mind. You definitely want more. Stop this nonsense of reading into if he is jealous and trying to make him jealous. Ask him if he is interested in real dating. I have never tried to make him jealous on purpose. I don't play games like that. I was not sending him a photo of myself for that reason...I just expect him to question it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 Sounds like you need to have a talk with him. I have a FWB, we were friends for a few years prior to becoming intimate. Probably because of that we are very honest with each other about how we see things. We have both admitted small twinges of jealousy over attention from other people, but we accept it as human nature. Most people can't be intimate with someone over a period of time without feeling some kind of "ownership". In my situation we know that being a real couple wouldn't work for either of us so we accept the occasional twinge of inconvenient jealousy. You need to talk to your friend and make sure you are on the same page. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilySun Posted April 3, 2019 Author Share Posted April 3, 2019 Sounds like you need to have a talk with him. I have a FWB, we were friends for a few years prior to becoming intimate. Probably because of that we are very honest with each other about how we see things. We have both admitted small twinges of jealousy over attention from other people, but we accept it as human nature. Most people can't be intimate with someone over a period of time without feeling some kind of "ownership". In my situation we know that being a real couple wouldn't work for either of us so we accept the occasional twinge of inconvenient jealousy. You need to talk to your friend and make sure you are on the same page. All that makes sense. We already communicate about our situation sometimes but this is the 1st time for jealousy to surface so I don't know how to handle it I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 That wasn't jealousy. Because there's no way he'd think you were getting sexy with a guy and then send him the photo of it. If you were getting sexy with a guy, you wouldn't have let him know that (unless of course you were trying to make him jealous). You want more, and maybe he does to. You'll never know until you stop playing games and just ask him. If not, move on and find a serious bf. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Instead of trying to ask complete strangers on whether or not your whatever he is was jealous, why don't you just be mature about this and act on your feelings. Aren't your own feelings important enough to you? What's the worst that can happen, you're already having sex with the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 I think it's weird for friends to take sexy photos of each other posing on beds, so I think he was trying to fish if there was another guy taking the pic. Either way, sounds like it's time to be honest with yourself about your intentions with him and revisit the "what are we?" convo. Will you or him truly be available for a new romantic partner if you are sleeping with someone you have feelings for? Most likely not. Link to post Share on other sites
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