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Why does this man every time I see him flirt and bring up sexual remarks but once I leave he never initiates anything. He is always shaky nervous around me and talks a mile a minute and flirts a lot. I’m shy on the other hand and an introvert.

 

He is an extrovert but with me I can tell he gets nervous. I feel like I do the best I can to show him I’m interested and get nothing back. Why is he even hinting at sexual stuff then? Why even do that if you are not going to make a move?

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For every 2 men who has done this I can name 1 woman who has done this ;) If you want him to make more moves, you may have to be patient in letting him get comfortable enough to make some moves. He will also - be over the moon if you were to make some moves on him. He's probably not had as much experience as you hoped he would, so he's nervous from testing the waters. Make it easy for him and enjoy the ride.

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Flirting can be done with no plans to take things further. He may not be interested in dating you and just enjoys a little flirting.

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Why would he hint around at sexual stuff then? Every conversation he throws something sexual into it somehow.

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He's likely into you - consider being patient with him and taking it further. If you are very disturbed by his not making any moves, you can move on and check out a new guy =)

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Why would he hint around at sexual stuff then? Every conversation he throws something sexual into it somehow.

 

If he's not interested in dating you? Because it's fun even if not taken further.

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He is always shaky nervous around me...

 

 

...but with me I can tell he gets nervous. I feel like I do the best I can to show him I’m interested and get nothing back.

 

Here's your answer. This guy wants to initiate but is too nervous to do so, for fear of upsetting or offending you, or otherwise messing the whole thing up.

 

Do you like this guy? If so, what's stopping you from initiating yourself? I'd say that once he gets comfortable with you there will be nothing stopping him from taking the lead.

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Mrs._December
Why does this man every time I see him flirt and bring up sexual remarks but once I leave he never initiates anything. He is always shaky nervous around me and talks a mile a minute and flirts a lot. I’m shy on the other hand and an introvert.

Why would you be interested in some fool who doesn't even have the good grace to know better than to make moronic sexual remarks to you? Do you actually find that flattering?

Why would he hint around at sexual stuff then? Every conversation he throws something sexual into it somehow.
Please see above.

 

He sounds like a classless degenerate. You can do A LOT better.

Edited by Mrs._December
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I think he is doing it to awkwardly flirt with me. I think he means no harm by it. I think he is trying not to get friendzoned so he trys to keep a little sexual tension in the conversation but I don’t know.

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Is this your OBGYN doctor (mentioned in your first thread) or your co-worker? I’ve noticed it’s not uncommon for men to engage in innocent flirting. They most likely have a girlfriend/wife already and are having a little fun.

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I would call him out and say "You are all talk, no action."

He won't like it and perhaps make a move. If not go for it.

 

Guys love assertive woman so I have been told. Any time I have gone for it, it's ended well.;)

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Is this your OBGYN doctor (mentioned in your first thread) or your co-worker? I’ve noticed it’s not uncommon for men to engage in innocent flirting. They most likely have a girlfriend/wife already and are having a little fun.

 

But I don’t see what he did as flirting: making sexual comments is creepy and crass.

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Seems this is the 50 something, 20+ years older co-worker, but I cannot find the answer to the question, is he single?

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I would be so annoyed if a guy was constantly only talking to me about sex. I wouldn't be flattered in the least but would think he doesn't think highly of me. He is making it clear he is only interested in some sex with you. A guy who was interested in you personally would talk to you with respect.

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Seems this is the 50 something, 20+ years older co-worker, but I cannot find the answer to the question, is he single?

 

Whether he’s your co-worker or doctor, making sexual comments is a something you can report him on. This is different from flirting.

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Pink86,

It seemsd that you have porous boundaries and are attracting guys who are the same.

 

 

His behaviour is totally inappropriate and you need to shut it down fast.

 

 

If he is a work colleague then it could be construed as sexual harassment.

 

 

If he starts again tell him he's out of order and not funny and to stop his inappropriate behaviour. If he persists report him to HR.

 

 

And raise the bar higher, you don't need to tolerate smutty-minded guys - you're better than that aren't you?

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I am but for some reason i cant get this guy out if my head. He is all I think about. It’s driving me crazy trying to read his mind. Maybe I should just go no contact and see if he comes around? If not, i guess it wasnt meant to be.

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I am but for some reason i cant get this guy out if my head. He is all I think about. It’s driving me crazy trying to read his mind. Maybe I should just go no contact and see if he comes around? If not, i guess it wasnt meant to be.
Oh my goodness, what?

 

Decide if you're interested to spend time with him, OR not.

 

If you do not want to spend time with him, go no contact.

 

If you do want to spend time with him, tell him you'd like to see him outside of work (or what ever your situation is), or ask him "How long do I have to wait for you to ask me out?", and smile, and walk away. That would be a way to get him to 'come around'.

 

Going no contact is a super confusing thing to do if you want someone to ask you out. It communicates that you want them to leave you alone.

 

Just my 2 cents.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Youngestdaughter

I don't think he'd get nervous around you if he wasn't interested. Even in these modern times, men are expected to make the first move and have greater fears of rejection. I'm an old fashioned Southern girl who never asked a man out. But I could flirt like Mata Hari. I never set my sights on a man I didn't get, even those way out of my league cuz I'm no great beauty.

Eye contact, serious like your reading a book on his pupils eye contact (but not like you're insane) and a smile like the two of you are sharing a private joke. And men like compliments too. You might tell him his eyes are pretty while you're looking in them

Or, "I've always been a sucker for a strong jaw" or whatever you like about him. Still nothing? Ask him for a favor and offer to make him dinner in return or make a bet, loser buys drinks. I could be wrong, but personally, I think this fish is on the line and all you need to do is reel him in.

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I think he is doing it to awkwardly flirt with me. I think he means no harm by it. I think he is trying not to get friendzoned so he trys to keep a little sexual tension in the conversation but I don’t know.

 

If you want him why don't you come on to him since you think he's just shy? Shy guys usually don't talk sexual to women at least not before getting to know them. He sounds like sex is all that's on his mind and trying to let you know it.

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He's overcompensating by being too fearful to actually DO it. So he's trying to bluff people into thinking he does it all the time. In other words, he's a big talker. All talk, no action. Walk away.

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Why does this man every time I see him flirt and bring up sexual remarks but once I leave he never initiates anything. He is always shaky nervous around me and talks a mile a minute and flirts a lot. I’m shy on the other hand and an introvert.

 

He is an extrovert but with me I can tell he gets nervous. I feel like I do the best I can to show him I’m interested and get nothing back. Why is he even hinting at sexual stuff then? Why even do that if you are not going to make a move?

 

When we like someone, we can get nervous. When we get nervous, we lose our composure and end up saying or doing stupid things...men and women alike. I believe this is the case with him if you are noticing a difference like this, in his behaviour.

 

Why does this happen? Well..have you ever been rejected? It's not fun process. You can feel embarrassed, humiliated or low. So perhaps his nervousness is the result of him liking you but being terrified of rejection.

 

You mentioned you try your best to show interest. What kind of things do you do to show your interested? Do you initiate? Do you start up a conversation? Do you ask him if he wants to hang out or hint at outings you might be interested in?

 

- Beach

Edited by Beachead
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