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In love with my best friend 💔 (whoís proposing soon)


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 4th February 2019, 3:59 PM   #16
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Great analogy! I would definitely have no trust in him at all. And Iím sure he would done the same to me as he did to her...

I think you are right, he just want both the cake and eat it.
I guess sometimes there is a bad timing and consequences and people. Hopefully Time will tell and I will read this thread back happy that I moved on

Itís just ****ty how you cannot sometimes control who you fall for.
It is a drag. But that's who he is. It's one of those "it is what it is" things. It sucks to get great attention from someone who then goes home to their serious girlfriend. It's disrespectful and uncaring at the root of it, so just remember that. If he'd wanted you more, he could have switched off, but then you'd still have to worry that he's still looking and flirting, so....dead end road.
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Old 4th February 2019, 4:01 PM   #17
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There is feelings there on both sides but I guess you are right. Maybe the alcohol is just an excuse maybe it helps who knows..

I just wish I can move on smoothly.

Cut all contacts?
Stay friends?

I donít even know whatís the right thing there..
Hey, listen, alcohol isn't a great excuse. After 40 years, my ex, when I was out with him and another guy and my ex's wife, got drunk enough to get teary and start trying to take my hand over the table. I ignored him and it made me mad he still tries to do that, because it's a pattern with him and I know that he's really doing it for self-validation, not because he wants me, because we've traveled that road many a time.
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Old 4th February 2019, 10:56 PM   #18
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Relationships are important and also worth pursuing.

You just have to pick your partner wisely.
Indeed. Well letís see what the future has to offer. In mtge meantime I have a collection of romantic movies, wine and chocolates
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Old 4th February 2019, 11:01 PM   #19
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Hey, listen, alcohol isn't a great excuse. After 40 years, my ex, when I was out with him and another guy and my ex's wife, got drunk enough to get teary and start trying to take my hand over the table. I ignored him and it made me mad he still tries to do that, because it's a pattern with him and I know that he's really doing it for self-validation, not because he wants me, because we've traveled that road many a time.
It seems like alcohol + bad love = disasters

I admire the fact that you see and understand the pattern and deal with it in such a detached manner. That’s a sign of a strong character!
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Old 4th February 2019, 11:27 PM   #20
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Indeed. Well letís see what the future has to offer. In mtge meantime I have a collection of romantic movies, wine and chocolates
That is always good...
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Old 5th February 2019, 8:51 AM   #21
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The ďI was drunk and canít rememberĒ routine of his is not only boring and lame, but really spineless. If he was as nuts about you as he says, he wouldíve left his gf a long time ago. And no one HAS to marry anyone in this day and age in a civilized society. Heís got one excuse after another. The truth is, heís either too gutless to call it off with his gf, or she comes from money and he doesnít want to let go of that. Either way, heíll be cheating on his wife.
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Old 5th February 2019, 3:07 PM   #22
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If he had proclaimed his love for you JUST ONCE when he was sober, Id take it a lot more seriously. Its entirely possible that he barely remembers what he is doing, if he's getting that drunk. Thats why drunk drivers get in wrecks all they time, they dont know what they are doing.

Unless he tells you he loves you while sober, I wouldnt take a lot of stock in it.
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Old 5th February 2019, 8:22 PM   #23
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Itís interesting to see both sides of the views here.

Some ppl will say ďvino vťritasĒ truth comes out drunk.
Others ďa drunk doesnít know what heís doingĒ

What about if it is a repeat situation? As soon as drunk: the L word drops?
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Old 5th February 2019, 8:24 PM   #24
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And when I see repeat Iím talking about at least 10/15 occasions
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Old 5th February 2019, 9:03 PM   #25
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He sounds like an immature manchild and for that reason it's hard to take anything he says seriously. (Who in their 30s goes clubbing and gets drunk on a regular basis?) He likely wants to get into your pants but that doesn't mean he doesn't love his girlfriend. If he's choosing to marry her rather than break up, it's because on some level he ultimately wants to be with her. Wanting to sleep with you too is not an either/or thing.

What kind of a guy only says "I love you" when he's drunk and doesn't have the nerve to take action to actually be with you? If you truly loved someone, why wouldn't you move heaven and earth to be at their side? When actions and words are inconsistent, you have to go with actions, and all of his actions are saying he doesn't want to make you a priority in his life. That's reason enough to put an end to this.
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Old 5th February 2019, 9:05 PM   #26
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You should never see him again.

Thatís IF you ever plan to meet someone you can connect with - that makes only YOU his top priority.


Sheez, itís like youíve been willing to be his OW all these years.

And stop lying to yourself - youíre not just friends.

Heís willing to use you... thatís all it is.

Get over him. Either way itís way too much drama!
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Old 5th February 2019, 9:08 PM   #27
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You know what really anit me though.

This morning after I told him to stop saying all those emotional things to me. One of his answer was.

ę I cannot remember what I said to you I was drunk...Ē come on!!!

Does alcohol affect you so much?
Heís a jerk who drinks too much!

Get rid of him.
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Old 5th February 2019, 9:26 PM   #28
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I guess they have been together for a looonnggggg time. Perhaps thatís why.
Oh I feel for him... Sheís probably pinning him down day and night to propose, women become evil nagging messes when they want that and heís probably so fed up and tired heíll follow through...

Call him 3 years after the marriage when their divorce is finalized and you can be happy ever after Joking but seriously heís getting brainwashed by her and thatís why he acts like a lunatic with you ... think if you have the time to wait for him, heíll be available and ready but god knows when ...
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Old 5th February 2019, 9:47 PM   #29
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Perhaps he wants to sew his last wild oats before he marries and knows saying ILY is the quickest way in a girl's panties when he knows she wants him. I bet he wasn't drunk when he asked his girl to marry him. Don't take his ILYs seriously because if he really did he would be working on being with you and dumping her. Until you see that action keep it moving.
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Old 6th February 2019, 11:18 PM   #30
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You guys are right.

Hes being immature, just now 3am in my time i received another drunk messages. Heís just screaming for attention and I wonít give it to him anymore...heís obviously drunk in a party and Iím the one hes texting to be Honest the more you guys write and the more he writes it just seems to add up.

Hes a child who want a new toy to play with for a bit and because he cannot unwrape it hes just making a scene.

Iíll stay away from now on...
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