JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) I hate long reads, and I don't wanna assume people care about my story as much as I do, but I'd appreciate it if ya'll gave me some feedback, so here we go! I met a woman on a TV show I was working on, we were both "crew members" and not "talent". Long story short, she was beautiful, very much in her own way, and maybe even traditionally so. She's incredibly smart, artistic, speaks eloquently, has an old soul, and like myself, is a filmmaker. Over the course of the shoot, we made small talk, shared chewing gum, drove around together etc, nothing too crazy. Truth is tho, we had a lot in common, and to me, she was beautiful in a way that I have a hard time describing. I've literally never met anyone like her, and never expected to, she was really amazing to me. On the last day of shooting, we all wrapped fast, and got out of there even faster. Like most productions, it's done and over before you know it, and you're on to the next. However, I didn't want to lose touch with this girl, I had to know her on some level, any level. I just wanted her to be a part of my life, in any capacity, and I was totally fine with friendship. To wrap this story up, she was separate from the crew, wasn't listed on the call sheet, and literally knew nobody on there. She was completely independent, and flew out 2 days after everyone else. Being that she'd be in the city for those 2 extra days, I figured I'd leave a note for her at the hotel, telling her to call me, and maybe we'd go do something if she wanted. So on my way to the hotel, I see her crossing the street, and I instantly flipped a U turn to catch up with her, but discovered I did so on a one way road, so I made ANOTHER U turn, with the intention of circling the block, but I ended up sitting at that light for so long, I was able to see her become indistinguishable from the crowd, and by the time I got around the block, she was gone. So I dropped my note off at the hotel, and waited around for a call that never came. Then I got this weird feeling, so I called the Hotel to see if she got the note and they NEVER gave it to her. By this time, she was checked out of a Hotel that was never under her name, and she was off back to NY. Again, no one knows her, she wasn't on the call sheet, the hotel wasn't under her name, I have no last name, and I can't find her anywhere! I never met anyone like her before, and I just don't want her to be another person in passing. I want to know her, is that wrong? Edited January 21, 2019 by JustAnotherLostLove Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 you missed your chance. maybe you'll run into her again, who knows? enjoy your memories of her in the interim. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 Ah man, I hate giving up! Understand, it was really hurtful to see her slip through my fingers like that. I really, really, don't want that to be my last memory of her. Someone give me hope, please! Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Wouldn't someone you worked with on the shoot know how to contact her? Does she have Facebook or LinkedIn or something like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 Wouldn't someone you worked with on the shoot know how to contact her? Does she have Facebook or LinkedIn or something like that? Technically, if I wanted to, I could probably get in touch with the producer and ask for her contact info. However, personally, I feel like that's crossing the line, and the producer would probably deny my request anyways. And like I said, I have no last name, so I have no way of looking her up. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Technically, if I wanted to, I could probably get in touch with the producer and ask for her contact info. However, personally, I feel like that's crossing the line, and the producer would probably deny my request anyways. And like I said, I have no last name, so I have no way of looking her up. do you have the money to hire a private investigator? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 do you have the money to hire a private investigator? You're funny. Are you serious tho? lol. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 You're funny. Are you serious tho? lol. yes i'm serious. if you want to see her again it might be worth a try Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Technically, if I wanted to, I could probably get in touch with the producer and ask for her contact info. However, personally, I feel like that's crossing the line, and the producer would probably deny my request anyways. And like I said, I have no last name, so I have no way of looking her up. I mean, you don't have a ton of options here. You can either use your resources or you can leave it to fate and see if you run into her again. I'm not sure what your other options are. If she likes you and wants to see you again, she will be flattered that you looked for her. If she doesn't, it will seem creepy. Taking a risk, but I guess it depends on how much you want to find her. Is there no one else from the set you can ask? Someone that's similar in position to you that would have worked with her? Do you know who she works for? You can find a lot of information of the internet, probably even her last name. Or you can try searching for her first name with the name of her company. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 yes i'm serious. if you want to see her again it might be worth a try If I wanted to go that route, I could just contact the producer, production company etc. I was hoping to find a more casual way I suppose, or maybe I was just wondering if people think I should let it go? If you guys/girls met someone who blew your mind, and they slipped through your fingers, what would you do? Also, I have no idea if she even cares to find me, or for me to find her. I actually KNOW she has my contact info, I just don't have hers. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 I actually KNOW she has my contact info, I just don't have hers. well you didn't say that before...if the feelings were mutual i'm sure she would contact you. you did tell her you were single? Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) well you didn't say that before...if the feelings were mutual i'm sure she would contact you. you did tell her you were single? I have to disagree. I'm a woman and I doubt I would contact this guy. But I'm also more traditional and a bit shy. So I might question why the guy didn't ask for my digits if he was so interested. That might stop me from contacting. Or she might be involved with someone. Or just broke up and not looking to date. A million things. I don't think you're nuts for wanting to find her, but I think you have a choice. You can take some active steps or you can just leave it to fate (or whatever you want to call it) and see what happens. ETA: I was just thinking if I had ever contacted a guy that I sparked with like this and I don't think I ever have. If I'm remembering correctly, most of the times I just figured he wasn't interested in me enough to try to contact me and eventually just let it go. Edited January 21, 2019 by nolanola Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 well you didn't say that before...if the feelings were mutual i'm sure she would contact you. you did tell her you were single? I didn't give her my info, she just has a callsheet with everyones info on it. She has no idea if I'm single, we were merely friendly with each other. Like I said, I just don't want her to become a stranger, someone of passing. I think she's wonderful and all, but I'm trying to remain realistic here. She probably isn't as interested in me, as I am with her, and that's okay. Also keep in mind, she's a woman, and women don't often pursue men. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 I have to disagree. I'm a woman and I doubt I would contact this guy. But I'm also more traditional and a bit shy. So I might question why the guy didn't ask for my digits if he was so interested. That might stop me from contacting. Or she might be involved with someone. Or just broke up and not looking to date. A million things. I don't think you're nuts for wanting to find her, but I think you have a choice. You can take some active steps or you can just leave it to fate (or whatever you want to call it) and see what happens. ETA: I was just thinking if I had ever contacted a guy that I sparked with like this and I don't think I ever have. If I'm remembering correctly, most of the times I just figured he wasn't interested in me enough to try to contact me and eventually just let it go. Exactly my point. We were both professional on set, so she likely has no idea that I think highly of her. Although, admittedly, I did run up the block, and through dangerous city traffic to get her a bottle of water. I clearly went out of my way for her. I'm willing to take active steps, but I also want to remain a gentleman, and I want to respect her. I thought about leaving it to fate, but the idea of that literally keeps me from sleeping. The fact that she slipped through my fingers like that, deeply bothers me, and will certainly bother me for all my life if I just let it be. So let me ask you, as a lady yourself, what would you consider acceptable steps, and what is too much? Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 I didn't give her my info, she just has a callsheet with everyones info on it. She has no idea if I'm single, we were merely friendly with each other. Like I said, I just don't want her to become a stranger, someone of passing. I think she's wonderful and all, but I'm trying to remain realistic here. She probably isn't as interested in me, as I am with her, and that's okay. Also keep in mind, she's a woman, and women don't often pursue men. Right? Some women do, some don't. I don't. So you really can't tell. And she might be thinking she liked you, but isn't sure if you're single or whatever. If I met a guy I really, really liked and I wanted to contact him, but wasn't sure of his status -- there is NO WAY I would contact him and risk looking like a complete dodo. If your industry is somewhat small, perhaps you'll work with her again? I think this whole thing is really sweet, actually. After my recent breakup, I'm kind of down on love, so it's encouraging to read your story. Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Exactly my point. We were both professional on set, so she likely has no idea that I think highly of her. Although, admittedly, I did run up the block, and through dangerous city traffic to get her a bottle of water. I clearly went out of my way for her. I'm willing to take active steps, but I also want to remain a gentleman, and I want to respect her. I thought about leaving it to fate, but the idea of that literally keeps me from sleeping. The fact that she slipped through my fingers like that, deeply bothers me, and will certainly bother me for all my life if I just let it be. So let me ask you, as a lady yourself, what would you consider acceptable steps, and what is too much? I think it all comes down to whether she is interested. If she is, she will be flattered. If not, it might seem a bit creepy, but if you're not weird about it she won't be too weirded out. Does she live in your city? I'll give you an example. My most recent ex, we met on a mission trip. We had actually met the year before, but only talked a little bit. The next year, we spent more time together and I was very attracted to him. I thought he liked me too, but I wasn't sure. After we went home, I thought that was it after a few days went by. But then, out of the blue, he emailed me and said it was great to talk to me while we were on the trip and that he'd like to have a drink if I was ever in his city. I was very flattered, but still wasn't sure if he was just being nice. I did reply and that led to emailing, then texting, then talking, then seeing each other. If I hadn't been interested? I probably would have just written a short email and been kind of vague. You seem like a decent man and I'm sure you won't do or say anything to be too creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 Some women do, some don't. I don't. So you really can't tell. And she might be thinking she liked you, but isn't sure if you're single or whatever. If I met a guy I really, really liked and I wanted to contact him, but wasn't sure of his status -- there is NO WAY I would contact him and risk looking like a complete dodo. If your industry is somewhat small, perhaps you'll work with her again? I think this whole thing is really sweet, actually. After my recent breakup, I'm kind of down on love, so it's encouraging to read your story. It's KINDA small, small enough to where I've worked with the same out of towners before, but those are usually key crew members, like the camera department. Like I said, she was sent in separately from the crew, via the production company, to take set photos. I have to confess, the more I learned about her, the more nervous I got. I seriously couldn't believe someone like her existed, and it was a lot for me to take in. When I learned we were both screenwriters, had a lot of the same movies, directors and whatever else in common, AND she knows more about movies than I do... It honestly blew my mind, it was hard to process. I knew then and there, I didn't want to lose her. When I saw here at the crosswalk as I was driving by, I knew that was my chance, and everything would be different after that, even if we only ended up friends. But when I got stuck on that road, and I watched her disappear, it was like a nightmare, it hurt bad. And the fact that the hotel never gave her my note... I have no words, none, it was very surreal. I have a lot of regret in my life, and I don't want this on that list. I can honestly say, that having her as a friend, would give me peace. I don't want to lose her, but I also don't want to be some creep about it, and I think asking the producer, production company, or whoever for her number, is crossing the line. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 I didn't see anything in the original story that told me she was in any way interested. She is working in and industry where the women are going to be more liberal and so if she was interested she would make contact. She is also smart enough to know that she had the guy's contact info and made no effort to give hers to him. When she was receiving his contact info it would have been the perfectly logical time to get his as well, but she did not. So in my interpretation there is just "nothing here". It is just another one of a million stories of a guy who is infatuated with a hot chick that he ran across, projected his attraction onto her, convincing himself that she felt the same way. But he never had the centeredness and confidence to try and make a date or at minimum make sure that both parties had contact information to make a follow-up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Yeah. Common mistakes for rookies. You are so attracted to a person so you think that person feels the same about you too, which is wrong most of the time. projected his attraction onto her, convincing himself that she felt the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 I don’t wanna be blaming the victim here because I see you’re feeling roughed up by this, but why would your plan be to leave a note at the hotel rather than to approach her before things wrapped up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 I didn't see anything in the original story that told me she was in any way interested. She is working in and industry where the women are going to be more liberal and so if she was interested she would make contact. She is also smart enough to know that she had the guy's contact info and made no effort to give hers to him. When she was receiving his contact info it would have been the perfectly logical time to get his as well, but she did not. So in my interpretation there is just "nothing here". It is just another one of a million stories of a guy who is infatuated with a hot chick that he ran across, projected his attraction onto her, convincing himself that she felt the same way. But he never had the centeredness and confidence to try and make a date or at minimum make sure that both parties had contact information to make a follow-up. I never gave her my contact info. You do have some good points tho, even if you come off as a little bitter, this is a break up thread after all. I'll likely just leave it in the past, as any attempts at this point would just be contrived at best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 I don’t wanna be blaming the victim here because I see you’re feeling roughed up by this, but why would your plan be to leave a note at the hotel rather than to approach her before things wrapped up? Honestly man, you'd have to be in the business to understand, it's nothing even remotely like a regular job. You work 12-15 hours a day, have permits to shoot where ever for a specific time, and when the producer says clear out, you better be out within minutes. You don't stop and make small talk, that can be done after, and she was where ever at that point. However, I'm not blaming anyone, I dropped the ball, and I suppose I should just leave it be. That's life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 I think it all comes down to whether she is interested. If she is, she will be flattered. If not, it might seem a bit creepy, but if you're not weird about it she won't be too weirded out. Does she live in your city? I'll give you an example. My most recent ex, we met on a mission trip. We had actually met the year before, but only talked a little bit. The next year, we spent more time together and I was very attracted to him. I thought he liked me too, but I wasn't sure. After we went home, I thought that was it after a few days went by. But then, out of the blue, he emailed me and said it was great to talk to me while we were on the trip and that he'd like to have a drink if I was ever in his city. I was very flattered, but still wasn't sure if he was just being nice. I did reply and that led to emailing, then texting, then talking, then seeing each other. If I hadn't been interested? I probably would have just written a short email and been kind of vague. You seem like a decent man and I'm sure you won't do or say anything to be too creepy. Sorry, didn't see this. She's clear across the country. I think I know now, I should take this on the chin as a lesson learned. I should have pulled that damn car on the side walk or something, but it all happened so fast, and now it's over. The end I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 The end I guess. there are plenty of nice girls out there Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Author Share Posted January 21, 2019 there are plenty of nice girls out there Oh, I know man, but there's only ever one of anybody. Link to post Share on other sites
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