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Girl who is friend but I like her more than that


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So I matched with this girl on tinder 2 years ago. We both are 29 years young. We chatted a bit, but she lived 12miles from me so that was a deal breaker for me since I don't have a car and I prefer girls from my town. So I wasn't really interested but then looked her up again a few months later and we started to chat on FB during summer. She said she has a headache and I joked that means there will be no sex. Then she said she won't meet me cause I don't respect her.

 

Still, I kept chatting with her despite that she unfriended me a few times on FB, I always invited her again and she always accepted.

 

Anyway, this summer things changed. We met for the first time and talked a lot. I was low energy and tired after work but she was high energy and talked a lot about random stuff. Really good looking girl but I realize that many guys are after these kinds of girls and that she doesn't have a reason to choose me over others, so I don't have a chance. So after meeting her, I said that now we are real friends, not just FB friends.

 

We kept chatting on FB and I got to know that she knows how to sew. That interested me and she said she can sew something for me. I wanted a jumper so we met in autumn to choose material colors. I paid for materials and she said people usually ask 50$ for sewing jumper. I assumed it will be free for me since we are friends. It really made me feel like we are good friends since she was sewing for me. Anyway not long after she gave me ready jumper she asked 35$ from me since we are friends she didn't ask for 50$ lol.

 

That chilled me down and also I invited her to church with me and she agreed but she disappeared on church day and didn't reply. After she acted like it was no big deal but I didn't let her get away with it.

 

We have met 5 times in total since summer and last time was last weeks Friday when we went to post office together, she had to send documents but I received a package with RAM(computer memory) that I ordered for her. I gave her it and later over chat she asked how much she owns me. I said nothing since it was dirt cheap. She was surprised.

 

Anyway, before that and after that, we talked on a phone too a lot for an hour and more.

 

I saw her in my dream too few times. I told her about a dream where she was crying in front of me cause someone harassed her and I told her she's beautiful and hugged her. She kissed me on lips and it felt like tingling sensation on lips.

Then Friday when we met she was smiling when she saw me.

 

In short, I like this girl as a friend but can't help often liking her more than that and thinking about her, wanting more and fantasizing. I want to stay good friends and appreciate that there are fewer problems because our relationship is not sexual.

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You have to pick: friendship or a romance. She still lives 12 miles away from you. You still don't drive. If you want romance, you need to step up & ask for a date. If you are OK with friendship only, stop the kissing & understand that as soon as she gets a real BF she will stop being in your life.

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You have no idea if she's interested in anything beyond friendship and the only way to find out is ask her out and to be sure she realizes it's a real date. Use the word "date" so you know for sure she knows and get this over with. Then accept whatever the answer is.

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You have to pick: friendship or a romance. She still lives 12 miles away from you. You still don't drive. If you want romance, you need to step up & ask for a date. If you are OK with friendship only, stop the kissing & understand that as soon as she gets a real BF she will stop being in your life.

 

Thanks for answers guys. Well Yeah, I still don't drive but she drives and visits my town several times a week for business. We never kissed but we do hug sometimes. Sure I know how it is when girls get boyfriends. But she had a few boyfriends during these years but we never stopped chatting, except of course chatted less. I have one female friend who I friend zoned 3 years ago but we been chatting every day anyway and when she told me she has a BF I started to write her less but now when she has her second serious BF we even talk on a phone sometimes and its cool.

 

You have no idea if she's interested in anything beyond friendship and the only way to find out is to ask her out and to be sure she realizes it's a real date. Use the word "date" so you know for sure she knows and gets this over with. Then accept whatever the answer is.

 

Have no problem to accept the answer whatever it is. Just my fingers are soft and I don't want to pull the trigger since not into it for the kill.

Sure I don't know if she wants something more than friendship but problem is that I don't know either if I want more than being friends.

 

Thing is I like where it is and I don't want to risk ruining it, but sometimes, just sometimes I want more. It's complicated since I'm a religious guy and been going to church for the last half a year every week and reading the bible every day. But despite trying to do the right thing - stay away from sin and lust, I'm still only a human and from time to time lust do come to me.

Actually, these last girls have been friend zoning me so much and I been friend zoning them so that now I have 5 female friends. I chat with all of them, talk on the phone with 3 of them and this is the only girl who I have met last months.

 

I always believed that there cant be a friendship between man and woman. -

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Edited by haikss3
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I always believed that there cant be a friendship between man and woman. -

What are your thoughts on this subject?

 

I think men & women can be friends in theory but I am not sure that you & this woman can be friends. You are dreaming about kissing her. You want her more then you are letting on & you keep trying to downplay this by calling your interactions a friendship. You may end up only as friends because the more you string this out & fail to ask for a date the less interested she will become. She will stop seeing you as a desirable man & only see you as a buddy. Because you want more even though you aren't admitting it, you will be hurt by this.

 

Step up already. What have you got to lose?

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You can be friends, but really, not if you're lusting after her. It always ends up complicated some way. Like you get feelings hurt if you've been close but then she tells you about her fantastic new guy she's dating.

 

Never hurts to just ask her on a date and find out where her head is at, though. I'm not getting that she's super into you or she'd not have charged you for that jumper!!!

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Have you tried asking her out ?

 

Thanks for answers guys. Well I havent asked her out but mentioned church night during new years eve and asked if shes available then. She said she will come if she can. Anyway yesterday we talked like 2 hours on phone and she talked a lot about real life relationship she witnessed and why she dont give advice to people anymore. Also she talked about her ex a lot and about guy she like. She like this guy who she call the perfect man. She says she feels great with him and gave him a gift, like tried to give him a hint. Anyway I feel like if I try to go after her and even if we end uo together, she will think about this perfect man. I dont think she would even give me chance right now.

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Yeah, she has her eyes on someone, so she's not interested. If she even thought she might be, she wouldn't be talking about her ex and her crush. So you should just give up and move on to the next one. Sorry.

 

I don't think a lot of guys realize it, but the way a lot of women work is they are often focused on some guy who they hope to get the attention of and very focused on it. Some get blinded by it, like I used to, but I eventually learned not to shut down the rest of the world while crushing, as a survival technique!

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