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Is she the right one?


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This might be a bit long. We have been very very good friends for like almost 3 years. I'm 17, she's a year junior to me. We met in our school bus. I was a bit shy when I first met her in 2016 but not now much. We meet 2-4 times a week. When we first started talking she once indirectly confessed about her love for me but I avoided that. However now I find us being very good friends. Sometimes we both call ourselves bestfriends. Ik she loves me tho.

 

Lemme tell you a bit about her. She was in my school. She had a bit of a slu*ty type reputation in school. She has only dated once very long back in 2015. But I know her very well, she's a very good person and trustworthy.

 

However there are some things which bugs me very often. For example, even tho she talks to me all the time, she also has some other male friends which are close but they stick about a month I guess.

Like in September she used to talk to a guy who lives close to us, they haven't ever seen each other but he called her to meet after 2-3 weeks of talking. I was a bit insecure, we had a big fight how but its cool now. She asked me if I should go or not, I said don't go due to his repu. She told me she'd consider my opinion but she met him. Now she doesn't meet him anymore after this.

And in October there was another guy she was talking to, nowadays he is avoiding her.

And this month, there's this another new guy.

 

She cancels any plans if she wants to meet me. But I don't trust her sometimes maybe because of my insecurities. I wanted to know if she'd be loyal to me if we ever dated.

 

She is close to many guys which is ideally uncommon for a girl who loves someone else. Is it something like she's trying other boys just incase she finds someone better or if not, then just stick w me. And she also entertains strangers(Mutual friends) on Instagram DMs. She also craves for popularity sometimes.

 

Please Help. I need to sort this out ASAP.

Any advice is highy appreciated.

 

P.S. Please note.

When she had indirectly said she was in love w me I wasn't ready for a relationship. Please do not judge me on the basis of how I've described her. Its all true to give you guys a clear picture of her. And note how indians culture of dating is a bit conservative.

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Everybody in the 14-20 age group is working on their insecurities in dating. I wouldn't try to ask her to be loyal to you just yet unless you've consistently dated her for months and months. I would just try to be the best gentleman you can be and pick up points for improvement along the way. It's normal for her to be talking to lots of guys. Do what's comfortable to you both and don't feel the need to rush it because the last show on TV or the class football captain said to rush to exclusivity.

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You are 17. She is probably not The One.

 

She may be a fun person for you to date but it's highly unlikely that you will last through the two big transitions coming your way: going to college & then graduating into the real world. Plus you have some serious reservations about her character & ethics.

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Are you sure the guys she's talking to aren't just friends? Or it could be that she thought she was friends with these guys and they just wanted to get in her pants.

 

It's possible that she might feel the same way about you - she considers you a good friend and nothing more. Or she might be interested in you. Hard to tell - so ask her out! But I'd consider the realities of dating her if you do decide to date - can you handle her being friends with other guys or could you see yourself getting jealous?

 

But as the others have said so far - you're very young. It may not last, but that's no reason not to give it a go.

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