what else I should do for her

[Asimple]

I have a more than close friendship with one of my friends I really like her and she likes me too. We spend a lot of time together and we both know that there is chemistry between us, but there is problem and the problem is that we just so afraid to do something for our situation we both afraid to tell each other what we feel for each other we both are super shy and and so...

 

We have this close friendship for about one year and from the first day of it we know that this is not an ordinary one the chemistry between us goes up and down many times through this year but as I said there are problems that we can't tell each other the words we both think that this is not a right time and we are not ready for a relationship with each other cause if we get into one with each other it will be a very serious one.

 

With all that problems I think I'm in love with her and I don't want to lose her.

 

Recently when the summer vacations started we get a little distant with each other but we texted each other every day since then but suddenly she just acted a little different when our chemistry through texts get to it's climax and we somehow indirectly told each other the word and after that it take hours for her to reply my texts and after days I ask her what happen to you and she said some family stuff happens I try to help her somehow with my text and one to another I think we have a little fight and from than we didn't text for two week now and she just not become online for about a week what do you think happened to her what do you think I did wrong and what do you think I should do right now.

[preraph]

I think she just found out that you care for her in a different way than she cares about you. She may have gone along with it but then she backed way way off and realized she didn't mean for it to go that way. So now it's awkward. If something romantic is going to happen between people, it wouldn't have taken this long. I think you were afraid to ever make a move and wanted some sort of guarantee before making a move and just rationalize that she was doing the same thing when she was probably just comfortable being friends. So then you said too much and extracted the word out of her, and now she feels bad and didn't mean it that way and is now backing off so you understand she does not feel the same way you do.

[glows]

Is this a long distance crush/chat messaging type "friendship"? Or is this in real life? I understand now is the summer season, you said, and therefore the texting but I have to ask because nowhere in your post did you indicate more than "spend a lot of time together" (what does that mean?).

 

You both are friends only. Don't kid yourself about it and don't get clingy and difficult to deal with. No one wants to deal with a friend that's overly up in your business. If she wants to resume your friendship, you both should be doing it on mutual terms and with respect for each other. Leave her alone and most of all, respect that she requires time AWAY from you to spend her summer/vacations with other people.

[Asimple]

It's hard to explain my country culture and it's diffrenent way of life. here speaking boy and girls with each other is not as they are in the western country and our relationship with each other are so much different too.

 

Here we do not even allow to touch each other hands and we have separated from each other from the very beginning of our lifes. Here boys and girls study on separated school until the end of high school only in college we can share a class we are living in a society where even looking at each other is a raltionship.

 

I'm not saying this all too convince myself I say all this because every time I ask for help in this places this kind of answers pop up and you think I'm a dumb person who do not see what is happening in life when I say she has feeling I know it and that's the problem in all this f#&d up country where problems are shooting at my face from every direction I seek for a way to not losing her but all ever have ever get is that I'm a dumb person and I just must give up.... Thank you for your helps.... Thank you very much

Edited August 22, 2018 by Asimple

[maxi105]

asimple...hello. hmm...it sounds as though things may have cooled a bit and that your friend might not feel the same way, but in order for you to actually know what went on, is still going on and to know EXACTLY what she feels you need to just talk to her...it is that simple!

 

 

there's no point in going over the politics of your culture or country in this case as it is how it is, and it isn't in this casr really going to change what she felt unless she herself tells you that.

 

 

its another case of also I think maybe you are living too much for social media needing to talk, text every 2 seconds and for someone to reply...youre not the first or will be the last for that, but its a lot easier, healthier and quicker to just talk to someone (if they will talk to you).

 

 

it doesn't sound as though they wouldn't talk to you, unless they feel you are making them feel rushed or desperate for answers...but again, unless you talk or attempt to you aren't any closer to knowing what the real situation is.

 

 

if only I had 2 cents for every time I suggested people talk!!!!!!

 

 

well. that my advice to you. get offline and talk to this gal. maybe if you try to ask how things are going with the family situation that might be better than making it about how you feel and it might put her at a bit more ease.

 

 

but either way, you need to talk. if you cant talk on the phone, then write to her and get your feelings out there. if she is a decent person she will reply to you and acknoweledge your effort and thoughtfulness to reach out and talk, explain.

 

 

you need to also apologise if you may have upset her or been on her case too. well good luck with this.

 

 

you know this gal so you at least know there is a small chance things might resolve. even if it means you just need to have her around as a friendship....that (if you can handle that) is better than nothing isn't it?

 

 

ok, that's what I think, hope you are ok, but don't sweat it if she isn't bothered, if she cant talk to you, then what kind of relationship would it have been if you did get together. full of little issues! and you already have had an issue that has gone out of shape already and you are not even with her!!!! so if you can. just try to sort things out and make up with her. if you can it'll be the best thing for you both. if she cant or wont give you the time, its her problem and you should go find someone a bit more mature and honest in the way they communicate themselves. ok, that's it. hope you get the chance to talk or write her. maxi.

[AnnaHoll]

And I believe that you must gather your thoughts and confess your feelings to her directly. Because you can lose a lot of time and have nothing left to do. And recognized her, you will get an answer and based on this answer you will already know where to move on.

[KatCha]

You sound like you do care, so that sucks that she ran off. Maybe she got scared of her own feelings, or yours, or who knows. The only way to figure it out is to talk about it now. I sure hope you two can clear it up and things work out well for you both. Good luck!