Jump to content

Friends or more...


Sweetness2018

Recommended Posts

Sweetness2018

So i am rather confused and could do with peoples thoughts. I work with a great guy who I get on famously with. We work in different areas of the country but not too far away for meeting if we ever wanted to.

 

As I got to know this guy more he started ringing me off his personal phone - most days we can spend a few hours talking - about work, and anything else that comes on topic.

 

Its been like this for a good year and it feels to me that there is often flirting, sexual innuendos and potentially a bit more there. We had a converstion the other day where he made the comment about our personal relationship and that he wouldnt treat me any different because of it if things changed at work.

 

Last time i saw him the goodbye hug came across as really tender and longer than you would expect for colleagues - but I just dont know if he wants more or how to take the next step.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated as I really like this guy but not sure what to do next. Feel free to ask any questions...

Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds to me like he is interested but lacks the confidence to pull the trigger. A year of not moving forward is a long time. A guy should initiate within a few days or a couple weeks at the longest of meeting you.

 

You could try to be the one to push it into a romantic context, however his lack of confidence may cause problems as you go along. I'm sure it will prove to be an issue with leadership in any kind of relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ahhhh sweetness.....well your post certainly does sound pretty sweet to me and makes me smile at what could be....

 

 

yes, there is a possibility that it might be a good thing, but again unless you can move this forward a little and get out of the office and talk, then it might just be a case of two people circling each other and then boom, someone else asks him!!!! ...and I hope if it turns out you did (do) like each other that that wouldn't be the case.

 

 

if it were me I would ask him if you have lunch times at the same time or could arrange that - if he'd like to grab a coffee or juice with you and go sit in the sun, or watch the snow falling (if youre having a winter season at the moment).

 

 

or if that sounds a bit poor, then if you know he has interests that you share, or even if you don't fully share them ask about them and see if he'd be up for goin to something around that. it'll give him confidence if he's already into it and if you like it too then you can show your out of office side. (which I'm sure if he likes you he will really love getting to know that side of you and being in your company).

 

 

I wouldn't worry so much about the year time frame or that things may have changed or(could change a bit at work) as he has already said he would treat you the same; so that's a good thing, even if he's not that interested in that way, then I guess you'd have a good friend if you were wanting that from him.

 

 

I think if you do go out for a night with him you would be better to talk and make sure if he is single and wanting to spend time with you in that way so you don't get it all mixed up or either of you get hurt. some folks flirt for fun (he doesn't sound like that from the little you say, but maybe you should check anyway when you (if you)...do go for that coffee etc....

 

 

well, now you know what my thoughts are about, I really hope you get to find out a bit more in a more intimate way what his thoughts are and if they are headed in a similar direction (I mean the two of you enjoying time out of work) and in a highly fun way, rather than any innuendo kind of way...otherwise I might find myself asking "you" for that coffee and complicate things even further on the shack!!! haha... (and then perhaps id be writing in as well as you for some answers!!!!! lol....

 

 

best wishes, my fingers are crossed for ya. :) maxi.

 

 

hope it goes well. it makes

Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like he opened the door to talk about it but didn't maybe get any encouragement from you or assurances that if it didn't work you too would still be normal at work. He doesn't want to risk his employment, of course.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Sweetness2018

Thanks for the responses so far.

 

You're right - there definitely needs to be some alone time away from work. Maybe my hints and comments are too subtle which is why he changes the subject.

 

We seem to be back on the track where hes not responding to the last meesage at night and then sends a response in the morning... i cant work out if he needs the time to work out the response or whether he just wants to start the day off with messaging me.

 

Maybe I just need a crystal ball to kniw what hes thinking. :lmao:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Get off the phone & meet him somewhere in real life. Have a drink or dinner. See what happens.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for the responses so far.

 

You're right - there definitely needs to be some alone time away from work. Maybe my hints and comments are too subtle which is why he changes the subject.

 

We seem to be back on the track where hes not responding to the last meesage at night and then sends a response in the morning... i cant work out if he needs the time to work out the response or whether he just wants to start the day off with messaging me.

 

Maybe I just need a crystal ball to kniw what hes thinking. :lmao:

 

Gosh, you've got to quit reading something into how long it takes a person to respond. People have lives. People put down their phones and leave the room. People turn them off and take a break from them when they're with other people or in the middle of something or out to eat or in class or whatever. You are wanting instant gratification. It's unrealistic. You think because you'd text right back that everyone should and it's the only right way to do it. Everyone is different. Some people don't let their phones take over their lives. You've got to learn to chill and quit making mountains out of molehills.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Sweetness2018
Gosh, you've got to quit reading something into how long it takes a person to respond. People have lives. People put down their phones and leave the room. People turn them off and take a break from them when they're with other people or in the middle of something or out to eat or in class or whatever. You are wanting instant gratification. It's unrealistic. You think because you'd text right back that everyone should and it's the only right way to do it. Everyone is different. Some people don't let their phones take over their lives. You've got to learn to chill and quit making mountains out of molehills.

 

Preraph - thanks but im talking about someone who hates not responding - its not in his nature to not respond quickly. He hates leaving things unanswered and outstanding... ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I just think you're not their priority with him you were before. So he's peeling it back and there may be someone else he's spending that time texting.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Either he’s 1) going to bed early; or 2) he wants to dial it back and just be your colleague, hence the emailing in the morning instead of at night. Or he could be spending the nights with someone else, or just had plans the last few nights with friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Preraph - thanks but im talking about someone who hates not responding - its not in his nature to not respond quickly. He hates leaving things unanswered and outstanding... ;)

 

You're clingy. Stop it. It's unbecoming and a little alarming. At this stage people cool off fairly quickly if you give off the wrong vibe or even for no reason at all. Place less importance on his presence and remember to keep a healthy balance between your work and personal life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...