Why did he open up then pull away?

[sparkles_80s]

A guy friend told me his deepest darkest secrets and childhood abuse, I listened, I didn't judge him and I told him some of mine. He felt angry that I had been through abuse too and expressed that. That was two days ago, ever since then he has gone distant with me. Not ignoring me just distant. I am not sure if I have upset him, he judges me or he feels vulnerable. I don't want to pressure him or bring up the topic again of he is uncomfortable.

What do you advise I do and should I continue to give him some space?

[preraph]

Vulnerable. Probably even embarrassed. Just give him some time and don't get into a heavy talk next time you communicate. Just send him a link to something funny or whatever, light.

[caveman621]

Context? Ages? Relationship before this big reveal? Drinking?

[carhill]

Noting this is posted in F&L, what's the romance part of this? Are you attracted to this man and/or have you perceived he is attracted to you? What does the friendship revolve around? Are these revelations a shocking change, something that has been evolving over time or par for the course of your friendship?

 

IME with female friends, they're sometimes shocked at how intimate/personal they've gotten (empath/facilitator/counselor gene in me I guess) then they clam up. Pretty normal. A few have even blocked it out, outright denying what they shared. The topics range from childhood molestation to rape to marital abuse to infidelity to substance abuse, on and on.

 

If you're truly friends, a few days, even a few weeks of silence shouldn't matter. Friends don't place expectations of intimacy and constancy on each other like lovers do. We take each other as life brings us together. The guy here will likely resume at some point like the sharing of intimacies didn't happen. 'What up?' then on to the topic of the day. Life goes on.