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Unsure of what to say next....


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Right, I’ve come on here for abit of advice as unsure of what to text next. Here goes....I came out of a 7 engagement in October due to him cheating. After I got myself back on track I added a “friend” on social media who I’d known for years and fancied.

 

We got talking and catching up and then a few weeks later he came and did some work on my house. When he was round we chatted quite abit....we continued texting after then I gained the courage and told him I’d like to get to know him “better” etc, he initially said it was just bad timing as he was seeing someone, roll on to a week later he comes round to my house for FWB with him saying it “probably won’t end up relationshipy as he said I was in a funny place as the moment (he knew I had some mental health issues after the ex as our families are friends too!!)

 

I asked him about the girl he was seeing and he said “oh it’s on the rocks” we texted for a few more weeks then it slowly drifted away as I think I may of got abit clingy (oooops!) all this happened Feb/March time so roll onto now where we haven’t texted in months. I’ve recently bumped into him in the street/local shops and we have chatted generally for a couple of minutes.

 

I’m now stuck with what to text him if anything as I still fancy the pants off him!!

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hey dating 86, just a quick one from me on this one, if I were in your situation I would still ask this guy if he wants to hang out at times and if so,get to know him again gradually, but I wouldn't get involved with only the physical Benefits side of it; Im not sure that's going to help you any to really get a proper sense of closeness of where you're at or give you the chance to communicate and move ahead on a deeper level (which is I guess what you'd really prefer with this guy).

 

I think you ought to try to get yourself in more of a healthy place in terms of self respect and self esteem as you have some health issues. im not asking you to disclose your personal health stuff or anything like that as I don't think that would be fair, but I feel a bit concerned that you are going along with a FWB situation when it will only add an emotional complication that im not sure is going to really help you if it goes on. It may be that he is aware of that and that is why he is already saying he's not sure if it will go further.

 

 

if he likes you you need to know he likes you (not just for sex) not just for when he feels like liking or needing you sexually, I think the emotional need will hook you and I feel that if you go in for FWB it will really bring you down if he doesn't want that long term.

 

why settle for something that could leave you feeling used when you deserve so much more than that.

 

 

is his relationship properly over? or just not working? if its not over, again this is someone that is having it all his own way if he is still seeing this other girl.

 

if he's not into being with you or getting to know you properly without just benefits then id say let him as dating material, just keep him as a friend (if that is possible without you wanting him so much). there are other guys out there who will treat you with more respect and would love to get to know you properly as a proper relationship partner.

 

 

as for what to text? keep it light, short, friendly and honest, just ask if he'd like to go someplace and if he goes just have a good time, the real things you need and want to say will (hopefully) just be said naturally when you are wherever you chose to go.

 

 

see him as a friend when you ask and when you go out and let the time and place lead you as to how things go, also of course he will let you know how it is going too and im sure he will want to say stuff too.

 

don't over think this, you know this guy so its going to be easier to just be around him.

 

good luck with this. its up to him really what happens and if he decides to meet up and hang out, but unless you ask him you wont know squat.

 

 

just try not to make this guy everything to you from how things are for you at the moment otherwise I think you may end up getting your heart broken all over again. treat him as a friend and get to know him gradually, maybe then he will feel more at ease with whatever else is goin on.

 

 

ok, I hope thigs go ok and even if they dont work out, if you have a good friend who knows your situation, he may also be the key to helping you find someone who may be more suitable, available and equally as attractive to you....he's not the only guy in the world. so don't lose hope if this thing doesn't go the way you'd like it too.

 

either way, if you can meet and talk about this, I think it will help you get more of a realistic view on what is likely and what is fantasy or not going to be that healthy for your emotions.

 

part of me wonders whether he's trying to give you a chance but is not sure so is looking for a way out if it isn't what he wants or he realises you want this way more than he does. so be careful not to lose yourself in this emotionally. but good luck anyway. maxi.:)

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Maybe say it was good seeing him.. And see how he responds and play off that... If he doesn't answer or return the sentiment, write him off. But if he was only interested in sex before, that part may not be any different so proceed with caution.

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