Tallgirl91 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Hi, So less than a year ago I met a girl on bumble bff and we’ve been hanging out consistently ever since. I’ve noticed that she complains when I don’t invite her places, it’s happened twice. The first time it happened was in February. I had told her on a Friday that I couldn’t make it out that night with her because I had the flu (which was 100% the truth and not a lie). The following Monday I felt a lot better after being sick for 5 days and decided to go to a local show. She saw my snaps and began asking me really accusatory questions like, “ I thought you were sick??” and “ thanks for the invite??”. Like WHAT? I was so confused, am I not allowed to go places without her?.The 2nd time she did this was on Friday. She asked me last minute to go out with her and I told her I couldn’t because I had a friend’s birthday dinner. She didn’t respond until the next day and said “ Hmm so why don’t you invite me places??”. I then told her “ it was someone’s bday dinner so it was not mine to invite”.’ then she said “ I’m not talking about that, I’m talking in general. Unless you stay at home 100% of the time and have no social life”. WTF I had JUST invited her to a day-party a few weeks prior. Like Jesus... we don’t have to see each other every damn week? Is she in the wrong or am I over analyzing this? Honestly, something about this doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve never had anyone, not even a romantic interest, be this insecure about me not doing stuff with them. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 You are going to have to ask her. I can sort of understand about the show. She may have thought you were lying to her, saying you were sick to get out of spending time with her. At this point you have been with her for several months. Why wasn't she invited with you to the friend's birthday dinner? You are right that you had no ability to add to somebody else's guest list but why didn't that person know you had a GF? If this woman is not your GF, you better figure out if she thinks she is. That may be why she was upset Friday. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Y At this point you have been with her for several months. Why wasn't she invited with you to the friend's birthday dinner? You are right that you had no ability to add to somebody else's guest list but why didn't that person know you had a GF? If this woman is not your GF, you better figure out if she thinks she is. That may be why she was upset Friday. They aren't a couple, I don't think....they met on Bumble BFF, which I assume is an app to meet platonic friends? Never heard of it. OP, yes, your friend is too clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tallgirl91 Posted July 15, 2018 Author Share Posted July 15, 2018 Haha sorry, I should’ve been more clear. She is not my GF, simply a friend/acquaintance. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Haha sorry, I should’ve been more clear. She is not my GF, simply a friend/acquaintance. Sorry. I misunderstood. Then yes, absolutely, she's needy. Although the thing about the show after you were sick may have been her checking that you weren't lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tallgirl91 Posted July 15, 2018 Author Share Posted July 15, 2018 You are going to have to ask her. I can sort of understand about the show. She may have thought you were lying to her, saying you were sick to get out of spending time with her. At this point you have been with her for several months. Why wasn't she invited with you to the friend's birthday dinner? You are right that you had no ability to add to somebody else's guest list but why didn't that person know you had a GF? If this woman is not your GF, you better figure out if she thinks she is. That may be why she was upset Friday. Sorry for the confusion. She is a completely platonic friend. Bumble BFF is an app used to find platonic friends haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tallgirl91 Posted July 15, 2018 Author Share Posted July 15, 2018 They aren't a couple, I don't think....they met on Bumble BFF, which I assume is an app to meet platonic friends? Never heard of it. OP, yes, your friend is too clingy. Yeah, I think I might have to cut her loose! I've never had this problem before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 She's a problem. You should do the fade on her. She's jealous and demanding. She will probably confront you. Tell her she acts like a jealous lover and it's not working out, bye. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Oh man. I've had a couple of friends like this and so has my wife. i'm always a BIT wary of people who come on so strong like, "BE MY FRIEND! BE MY FRIEND! BE MY FRIEND! BE MY FRIEND!" and immediate intimacy and expectation that they should be involved in EVERYTHING you do! We had another couple that was like that. Nothing sexual, just a couple of middle aged couples that would occasionally do stuff together. Until they started showing up unannounced, leaving over the top gifts at our house even when we weren't there. Horning into other social groups we had. It was awkward, but we had to "break up" with them. Deep friendships are GREAT but take time to develop. People that seem to want to take a short cut and be immediate BFFs are kind of scary to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tallgirl91 Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 Oh man. I've had a couple of friends like this and so has my wife. i'm always a BIT wary of people who come on so strong like, "BE MY FRIEND! BE MY FRIEND! BE MY FRIEND! BE MY FRIEND!" and immediate intimacy and expectation that they should be involved in EVERYTHING you do! We had another couple that was like that. Nothing sexual, just a couple of middle aged couples that would occasionally do stuff together. Until they started showing up unannounced, leaving over the top gifts at our house even when we weren't there. Horning into other social groups we had. It was awkward, but we had to "break up" with them. Deep friendships are GREAT but take time to develop. People that seem to want to take a short cut and be immediate BFFs are kind of scary to me. Yes it’s scary to me too. A “BFF” relationship takes a lot of time to develop and I don’t understand people that try to force it artificially. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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