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Absolutely unconditionally bat sh*t crazy head over heels madly in love with him


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 23rd May 2018, 9:52 AM   #31
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The hurt you feel right now ... and I know it's agonizing ... is actually the hurt you needed to face years earlier ... when you keep your feelings for him alive.

Absolutely he should stop seeing you ... He just slept with you in a horribly inappropriate way ... even though he's engaged ...

What possibly could he say: Let's meet for coffee twice a month?

This pain will help you create distance ... and let this guy go ... Sorry it hurts ... But this is the price for not facing reality earlier ... years earlier. The price for inviting him into your place and serving drinks. And the price you pay for sitting close to him on the couch ... And for holding his stuff and pretending you only had friend feelings, the price for not telling him all along that you really liked him more ... the price you pay for not getting up off that couch when he made a move on you.

You ran about five red lights, ten stop sighs, ignored three crossing guard swith their hands up blowing whistles at you ... Of course you were gonna crash ... and get a major expensive ticket.
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Old 23rd May 2018, 3:40 PM   #32
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It was cold-blooded of him to do that. So 1) I think he's having his last sexcapade before committing to her and 2) He may have decided he better try it with you so he won't always have some lingering doubt about that what if you make love like a porn star and he never hit that.

How it should have gone if he was decent is he sits down and tells you he cares about you and isn't sure if getting engaged to her is the right thing, cautions you that he has feelings for you both, and you either agree to give it a try or not. But instead he just snuck behind her back and ambushed you for sex so he wouldn't have any regrets about not having found out. He probably even thinks telling you he's as good as engaged lets him off the hook for any possibility of you taking it seriously or expecting anything from him.

Look, I know you are very invested in this guy, but would you really want to the one getting married to someone who just did this to an old friend? If you can step back from your feelings for a minute, you should be able to see that he just showed he has a really uncaring, unempathetic side to him, and that he's a cheater. She's not getting any bargain. I wouldn't put it past him trying to come over for sex sometime in the future sneaking around on her.

I'm glad he apologized, but he more or less had to do that because he needed to come get his stuff, and him shoving you aside so coldly -- he is not who you hoped he was, that's all. At no time did you ever fathom he would be this cold and uncaring and careless, did you? He isn't who you thought he was -- at least not once the hormones kicked in.

He treated you very bad, used you to store his stuff, used you for sex. He HAD to know you were crushing on him because only someone crushing would have bent over backwards for him all these years, and that's why he didn't ask or consider your feelings. He was sure you'd let him.

I know how hurt you are, and you have every right. But please, please, please do not leave the door open for him. Wait maybe 2 weeks to see if he musters up any decency, and do not contact him at all. Do NOT reward his bad behavior by contacting him! All it does is tell him you'll accept bad treatment from him! After a couple of weeks, block him off everything, your phone, social media. If you waste another year over this guy, it will be one of the biggest regrets of your entire life, I promise. Don't let him waste any more of your time. Block him and then get busy socially to distract yourself. It is the best way to move on. Wipe this smelly clod off the bottom of your shoe and keep living. Good luck.
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Old 15th June 2018, 10:30 AM   #33
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Update.

It’s been almost a month and I don’t feel any better at all. I haven’t contacted him and he hasn’t contacted be either. I miss him soooo much it’s driving me crazy. I don’t remember the last day that I didn’t break down and cry. Everyone is telling me I’m better off without him, I’m lucky he’s out of my life. So why doesn’t it feel that way? I feel worse now than I ever have. As painful as it was to be around him and see him falling in love with her, it was better than never seeing or talking to him at all. I miss him like crazy and it’s so overwhelming I don’t think I can deal. :’(
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Old 15th June 2018, 10:34 AM   #34
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I canít underatand why he doesnít feel like I feel. If I feel like heís absolutely perfect for me why canít he see it?

I know sheís prettier then me, I know she is, but what we had was so so so strong. I felt it, it was real. He had to have felt it too.
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Old 9th July 2018, 12:15 AM   #35
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Absolutely unconditionally bat sh*t crazy head over heels madly in love with him

Non stop thinking of him no matter how hard I try. I saw him on Friday and I had to run to the bathroom to throw up I kid you not. I can never be with him, this I know. I canít get over him and Iím scared I never will
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Old 9th July 2018, 9:22 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by Madd_hatter View Post
Non stop thinking of him no matter how hard I try. I saw him on Friday and I had to run to the bathroom to throw up I kid you not. I can never be with him, this I know. I canít get over him and Iím scared I never will
Yep. You've got it bad.

Could you elaborate about your intense emotional predicament, because I think I empathize with you due to my own similar problem?
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Old 9th July 2018, 10:30 AM   #37
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Yep. You've got it bad.

Could you elaborate about your intense emotional predicament, because I think I empathize with you due to my own similar problem?
Iíve known him since I was 10 years old. Been crazy for him since then. Heís with someone else. Heís never felt the same way I did. We grew up together and just being around him was enough for me so I kept up our friendship. We went out just last Friday with a few other people, and it was the first time in a long time that we actually hung out. It was amazing. He was just like he used to be. Smiling at me, laughing with me, teasing me, all the things we use to do. When he looks into my eyes my heart stops. I want him so badly but he has someone else.

I still love being around him and donít want to lose the part I do have of him. Which is not much but heís like my air, I need him. Even if itís just as a friend. Itís better than nothing.
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Old 9th July 2018, 5:17 PM   #38
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I hope you're not letting this schoolgirl crush keep you from meeting and dating other guys. I assure you, he throws socks on the floor just like everyone else and has smelly underwear and probably steals the covers and snores like an obese English Bulldog.

Time to up your game and find someone else you can focus on who might want you back. This is going nowhere and you can't live on lust alone.
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Old 9th July 2018, 5:43 PM   #39
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Iíve known him since I was 10 years old. Been crazy for him since then. Heís with someone else. Heís never felt the same way I did. We grew up together and just being around him was enough for me so I kept up our friendship. We went out just last Friday with a few other people, and it was the first time in a long time that we actually hung out. It was amazing. He was just like he used to be. Smiling at me, laughing with me, teasing me, all the things we use to do. When he looks into my eyes my heart stops. I want him so badly but he has someone else.

I still love being around him and donít want to lose the part I do have of him. Which is not much but heís like my air, I need him. Even if itís just as a friend. Itís better than nothing.
That is really a sad situation you've been contending with for so long.

Does your friend have any idea how you really feel about him?

I know what it's like to be in love someone I can't have. It hurts like hell. But I'm married to another woman. So I'm forced to choke on my feelings, because, as I just read in another thread here, our painful feelings aren't equipped with an off switch.

Is there any chance you could move on with someone else to alleviate the despair and frustration you are burdened with?
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Old 10th July 2018, 10:12 AM   #40
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Itís so difficult to explain. Itís so bittersweet. Iím so happy and excited to be around him but it hurts at the same time. I fall even harder every time he looks at me or says my name. It breaks my heart because I want sooo much more.

Iíve not been with a lot of guys. Thereís a guys Iím sorta seeing now. But I keep comparing him to the other man no matter what.

I like him... doesnít give me the feelings that the other guy does. Iím a horrible person I know. But I couldnít stand being alone anymore.

Not really asking for advice I guess. Just hoped to find someone to talk to.

Literally no one knows about this. I havenít told a soul.
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Old 10th July 2018, 12:15 PM   #41
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You just keep dating other guys. You have to realize you're being unfair comparing them to a man you imagine is perfect when you only know this man as a friend, a friend who isn't interested in you. I mean, the first requirement of a boyfriend is that they like you back. You can't let yourself waste your youth on a man who isn't interested in you that way. I'm sure he thinks of you as a child still. Honestly, the best thing for you would be to move away pursuing a career where you can't even anticipate the next time you happen to see him. I'm more than certain he is well aware you are crushing on him and he probably teases you because he thinks it's cute, but he hasn't acted on it, so it's a dead end.
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Old 10th July 2018, 12:59 PM   #42
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I remember your other thread: He took your virginity before breaking up your friendship (when he had a gf and was going to propose to her). This guy is a user and cheater (he was using your place for free storage too).

Please see a therapist.
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Old 11th July 2018, 9:32 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Madd_hatter View Post
Itís so difficult to explain. Itís so bittersweet. Iím so happy and excited to be around him but it hurts at the same time. I fall even harder every time he looks at me or says my name. It breaks my heart because I want sooo much more.

Iíve not been with a lot of guys. Thereís a guys Iím sorta seeing now. But I keep comparing him to the other man no matter what.

I like him... doesnít give me the feelings that the other guy does. Iím a horrible person I know. But I couldnít stand being alone anymore.

Not really asking for advice I guess. Just hoped to find someone to talk to.

Literally no one knows about this. I havenít told a soul.
I really don't think you're "a horrible person". But I do think it's time to address your obsessive interest in your "friend".
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Old 13th July 2018, 10:57 AM   #44
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He keeps hurting/disappointing me, why do I still care?

We could have a few good days where he flirts and is super sweet and cute with me, then heíll pull a total 180 and ignore my calls and texts for weeks. Even when he is acting nice Iím still the one who always has to call/text him first. He never suggests to hang out. Itís always me.

He always does this. Makes me fall so hard then letís me down. I just want him.. I just want to be around him. Even if itís only as a friend. I feel like I just need him there but I never really have him when I need him.

Itís so hard. Trust me I donít want to feel like this. I always sit and try to think of all his flaws. Even really dumb ones like the fact that his eyes are too close together lol. But for some reason I canít.. I canít not love him.

Everything about him is what I want. Why am I like this? How can I stop it? The moment I see him my heart pounds in my chest and I could literally vomit.

Iíd do anything to be what he wants. We grew up together. Weíve been friends for years. I donít know what to do.
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Old 13th July 2018, 11:03 AM   #45
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SSDD

See a therapist for your obsession.
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