Skankhunt42 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) So, I’m 6 months out of a 6 year relationship and in that time I’ve gotten closer with a female friend from work. We’ve known each other for many years and we’ve always had a good thing, but it has always a surface level friendship. More like close acquaintances. Anyway, right after my breakup she seemed to be one of the only people genuinely concerned about me. A few weeks after my breakup was the work Christmas party and she told me I was 'the only guy at work that has never hit on or tried flirting with her'. She said it was something she really liked about me. We started talking more and we found we had a lot in common with hobbies, interests, values, family upbringing etc. We have a running joke now that we’re 'essentially the same person'. We’re very playful with each other now and we have some good banter. Occasionally we’ll throw in the odd sexually ambiguous comment and we have fun with it. Things have been this way for a few months now and I’m generally happy with our friendship and the dynamic we have between the two of us. Now, here’s the issue. Last weekend she said something interesting to me. We were out at a bar with a few friends and she said “I’m not sure about you…” When I asked her what she meant by ‘not sure’ she replied back “Well, I’m friends with Jack, and he’s like my brother so I would never do anything with him. Like I would never have sex with him. But, I’m not so sure about you”. Then she referred back to something I said the other day. I said that I could probably pass as either her brother, father or boyfriend and that I preferred being her daddy. She said “definitely daddy….. but we obviously ****”. I assumed I was always in the friend zone with her, but now I’m starting to think I’m somewhere in between. What do you guys think? Should I organise a date and see where things go? I've always found her attractive and we have great chemistry so I'm starting to question whether I should give this a shot and see where things go? PS. I'm 28 (m) and she's 23 (f) Edited June 13, 2018 by Skankhunt42 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 I don't know. The one reason she liked you to begin with is you never flirted with her. So she may just think you're safe to be a little riske with or tease because you won't flirt back and make her sorry. You just don't know. She could just like to say shocking things. But since she likes to talk about things like that, it's fair game to just tell her, Hey, here you are talking about having sex with me when the reason you liked me to begin with is because I didn't hit on you. What gives? Just hit her with it like that and see if she minimizes it and says, Oh, I'm just kidding, or says, But I've gotten to know you better... Link to post Share on other sites
Jacob_Duluoz Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 Call her out on that ****. Over-the-line teasing. Link to post Share on other sites
CaramelQueen Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 I think you should feel it out a bit more...maybe playfully flirt with her once in awhile and see how she responds. If she keeps flirting back ask her out for a drink one night after work Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 20, 2018 Share Posted June 20, 2018 I'll translate her words: Wow, you and I are friends but now I'm noticing that that there is some sexual energy between us. I really didn't expect this. I don't quite know what to do about that. What do YOU think? She was asking you what the heck you think and have you thought about sleeping with her, having a relationship with her and so on. What do you think about the flirting that has entered the relationship? Do you want to explore that further? Your task next time: answer honestly ... acknowledging mixed feelings if you have them. What's great is that she spoke with enough clarity that there's no pressure to go either way. She took the awkwardness out of you saying, Yeah, I like flirting, but let's just keep it at that ... or you saying, Yeah, I'm surprised by our flirting as well, and I wouldn't mind exploring that sexual energy further. She really gave you safe comfortable room to go either way ... to give an honest answer. I like the way she talks! So now I'm asking you: what do you think and what do you want? Link to post Share on other sites
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