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FWB - Should I Move On?


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strawberrysnow

Previously, there's this guy that I met on Tinder. We're both not looking for anything serious, as both of us just came out from terrible break-ups. Things were going on 15 months, where we meet each other once a month (usually for making out/oral sex) and the rest of the time we had phone sex or sexting. We were casually dating other people as well. Things were right at that time. In January, before I flew back to my own country, we finally had sex. Again, we continue sexting each other every week. Both of us were comfortable with this, and we knew this is just a filler/settling relationship.

 

He then has to move to another country (which is only 2hours flight away from mine) for 4 months work. We then decided to meet up in another country for some holiday together. At this time, both of us were not seeing other people (even casually). In a hindsight, this is where everything started to go wrong. That trip was amazing, we had loads of fun, great sex and both of us enjoy spending time with each other. We shared secrets and talked to each other about everything and anything. None feel awkward nor force.

 

Post-holiday, he started to text me every day. Randomly sending pictures and asking about my day. On one day, I jokingly asked him whether he's falling for me, which he asked me the same question back. I was being flirty then and asked him, can you handle it if I say yes. He instead became serious and responded that he could handle it but does not want either of us to get hurt, and that's not what he thought the initial plan was. He told me he cared about me and want to be careful not to hurt me. I answered that this could be post-holiday feeling and either way, say things wouldn't work out that way between us. He said he feels the same and feel something for me and yeah, he doesn't think we'd work together but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. I asked whether he want to call this off because I'm okay if he does. He doesn't want to but thinks we need to know where it's going.

 

He thinks we should have fun and enjoy each other while we can, and remember each other well. But if that's not what I want, I should tell him and he'll think about it. However, he does think that since we're going to be far from each other, he doesn't see how it can be more than that. I kinda understand and agree to just have fun while it lasts. Which he suddenly said when things go this well, of course, we're gonna have feelings. Which I answered no, we should throw away whatever feelings we had. He then started to sigh and got upset. I then asked him whether we're going to meet each other again or just continue with sexting. At this part, I'm alright with whatever he wants. Which he answered, he really wants to meet me again and wants to make a plan.

 

Tbh, I'm slightly confused with his mixed behaviours. Sometimes it feels like he wants things to be more, or maybe I'm just overthinking. I'm ready to call it off as I don't want either of us to get hurt too or things get more serious. Now, what do you guys think? Should I just go with the flow with the risk of either of us might crash and burn? Or should I call it quits now before things get even more complicated?

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"He thinks we should have fun and enjoy each other while we can, and remember each other well"

 

This line is the part that says to me hes not serious. He's keeping his options open. You're safest path is to just keep your options open too and if someone comes along that does want to get more serious with you then go with that one. Don't put all your eggs in one basket until you know their intentions with you.

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strawberrysnow

I have decided to take everything at face value and to not overthink anymore.

 

However, it's very frustrating when he gave mixed signals like saying I only want him for his body where else he's all about me (and slightly about sex). I mean, why do you say that when we've already decided to not be serious, and how to even respond to that. :mad:

 

He keeps on initiating text at least once a day, either at work or at home. Asking about my days, my past/childhood and telling me that he wants to hear more about me as I offered him very little. Which is very confusing because we've never done that before and it feels very relationship-y. He's also been asking whether I've been with other guys since we started hooking up. Sigh. I'm not sure whether that's just how sensitive guy (he claimed he is) act in FWB?

 

I thought FWB would be drama free and no hassle, but now it's been quite frustrating cause it's been bugging my mind. On the side note, I'm going to take your advice and start dating other people too. And try not to focus so much on him.

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Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. Keep your options open. Start going on dates with other people. It’ll take the focus off of him.

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