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Found out Dad I was interested in is married?!


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 12th January 2018, 10:49 AM   #61
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OP he's into you and vice versa. If you have sex with him, even if you move to the moon for the summer, he will be on your mind and you'll be miserable.

Unfortunately the person who gets hurt in situations like this is the single one. Unless they are extreme sociopath who will make a move to break his family, but I don't think this applies at all to you case. You just happen to like the guy and frankly, this makes us all a little naive.

I don't think you are to blame here because HE is flirting, and you haven't done anything besides have thoughts. Maybe end it there? It is extremely hard when you have a crush. The only thing that has worked for me in the past is to get preoccupied with work.

You'd keep getting hit on by married men no matter what you do, but it is your choice how to respond...
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:32 PM   #62
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Thank you everyone for your input. I truly appreciate it. Even the tough love! I may have come off as a horribly selfish person, but Iím really not.

Iíll try to comment on as many issues as I can, then move on to what happened today at the game.

The person who said aging will be difficult for me is correct - I am in therapy for it. I think what many people fail to understand is that people who are valued for their looks, have been that way since childhood. My teachers in grade school were nicer. Professors in college gave me higher grades (which other students complained about), my agents and others at work treated me differently. I get better tables at restaurants. The list goes on and on.

Iím not saying this to brag - itís just reality. I do, as I get older, feel that Iíve followed rules my whole life that people like me donít really need to follow. I understand this is a fallacy. But when it comes right down to it, Iím on a slippery slope of not being strong enough to do the right thing yet one more time!

I am in my 30s and work my schedule around my sonís time in school during the day. I no longer travel and my ex husband, his father, helps a lot. I ended the marriage for many reasons - the sex was not there, Iím very sexual, he was dependent on me emotionally and I prefer virile men - manliness and emotional neediness donít mix, in my opinion. There were other issues, but I got tired of being in an unsatisfying relationship.

I am a stay at home mom and work occasionally. My age is already an issue in my industry, but that was always expected. I do enjoy attention from men but many, many times itís unwanted. As Iíve mentioned before, Iím not asking here if this man is attracted, but rather if he seems the type who would act on his attraction since Iíve only seen him 3 times! Fourth today.

A few days ago, not during practice, they had another event and his wife was there. She was sitting down and he was standing. I approached, sat behind her, and he proceeded to greet me. I said hi back, and he seemed nervous, but smiling a lot. No introduction to his wife. I left quickly, so nothing else happened.

As I had anticipated, his wife was there today as well. Game day. He ran into me in the hall, by himself, I was busy with my son so we just greeted each other. I sat a little farther away from his wife. Another mother approached him to sit down next to them... He introduced that woman to his wife. I felt a mix of bliss and rejection, all rolled into one.

There was one more moment or staring, with his wife right there, and I caught her looking at me as well. At the end of the day, I again was at the restaurant by the exit. His wife was walking behind him. He turned to my son and said ďGood game!Ē . Then he looked at me and said ďSee you Tuesday?Ē. I managed to say ďYes... TuesdayĒ because nothing else came out. I was terrified that his wife would see how I felt, and felt completely puzzled that he would single me out to say that when there were other parents from our team there.

So... maybe she will show up for practice on Tuesday! Itís what I would do. And maybe he was only that brazen because all of this is only in my head.

We shall see.
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:36 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by JJacobs View Post
felt completely puzzled that he would single me out to say that when there were other parents from our team there.

So... maybe she will show up for practice on Tuesday! Itís what I would do. And maybe he was only that brazen because all of this is only in my head.

We shall see.
Really? You're puzzled? His poor wife .
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:42 PM   #64
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Thank you everyone for your input. I truly appreciate it. Even the tough love! I may have come off as a horribly selfish person, but Iím really not.

Iíll try to comment on as many issues as I can, then move on to what happened today at the game.

The person who said aging will be difficult for me is correct - I am in therapy for it. I think what many people fail to understand is that people who are valued for their looks, have been that way since childhood. My teachers in grade school were nicer. Professors in college gave me higher grades (which other students complained about), my agents and others at work treated me differently. I get better tables at restaurants. The list goes on and on.

Iím not saying this to brag - itís just reality. I do, as I get older, feel that Iíve followed rules my whole life that people like me donít really need to follow. I understand this is a fallacy. But when it comes right down to it, Iím on a slippery slope of not being strong enough to do the right thing yet one more time!

I am in my 30s and work my schedule around my sonís time in school during the day. I no longer travel and my ex husband, his father, helps a lot. I ended the marriage for many reasons - the sex was not there, Iím very sexual, he was dependent on me emotionally and I prefer virile men - manliness and emotional neediness donít mix, in my opinion. There were other issues, but I got tired of being in an unsatisfying relationship.

I am a stay at home mom and work occasionally. My age is already an issue in my industry, but that was always expected. I do enjoy attention from men but many, many times itís unwanted. As Iíve mentioned before, Iím not asking here if this man is attracted, but rather if he seems the type who would act on his attraction since Iíve only seen him 3 times! Fourth today.

A few days ago, not during practice, they had another event and his wife was there. She was sitting down and he was standing. I approached, sat behind her, and he proceeded to greet me. I said hi back, and he seemed nervous, but smiling a lot. No introduction to his wife. I left quickly, so nothing else happened.

As I had anticipated, his wife was there today as well. Game day. He ran into me in the hall, by himself, I was busy with my son so we just greeted each other. I sat a little farther away from his wife. Another mother approached him to sit down next to them... He introduced that woman to his wife. I felt a mix of bliss and rejection, all rolled into one.

There was one more moment or staring, with his wife right there, and I caught her looking at me as well. At the end of the day, I again was at the restaurant by the exit. His wife was walking behind him. He turned to my son and said ďGood game!Ē . Then he looked at me and said ďSee you Tuesday?Ē. I managed to say ďYes... TuesdayĒ because nothing else came out. I was terrified that his wife would see how I felt, and felt completely puzzled that he would single me out to say that when there were other parents from our team there.

So... maybe she will show up for practice on Tuesday! Itís what I would do. And maybe he was only that brazen because all of this is only in my head.

We shall see.
I disagree with a lot of what you say and especially getting tables. I never have issues getting good tables, I get good marks because I earn them, and you need to understand that there are a lot of beautiful women. I've never heard of you so your no Cindy crawford.
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:53 PM   #65
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I don't know you but by reading your story, I am assuming your ex pays more then you make modelling. I know the strong intellegent men you speak of and although they may gock at you, they gock at several in a day, and would never end up with a women solely based on her looks. You really should start investing your time and energy into a more stable job. Former model now CEO is far more appealing to men then former model now stay at home mom with good support payments
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:54 PM   #66
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The tables thing doesnít only happen to me - it happens to pretty much every attractive person I know. Iím not saying Iím the most beautiful woman alive, just that others regard me as more attractive than many, and there is a marked difference in treatment. If anyone has gone from being a brunette to then being a blonde - that difference. I was a brunette for about 5 minutes and never again. 😁

I have to admit, to comment on the poor wife post - I agree. I felt guilty for being attracted to him while she was there. I really donít know if I could pull off actually having sex with a man who belongs to someone else. This is encouraging and it makes me angry at the same time. Encouraging, because maybe I wonít make a mistake. Angry, because I really want to pursue this but feel that the price would be too high.
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:56 PM   #67
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I have my own money, from many years of not only earning but also investing - I understand the propensity to assume an attractive woman is kept by an ex, but thatís not the case with me.
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Old 13th January 2018, 3:58 PM   #68
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I have my own money, from many years of not only earning but also investing - I understand the propensity to assume an attractive woman is kept by an ex, but thatís not the case with me.
You still seem to interested in your looks to keep a successful and intelligent man in my experience. You speak a lot of your appearance and if you read this forum, are probably the only one.
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:02 PM   #69
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I don't know Cindy Crawford personally, but I would be shocked if she makes nearly as big a deal about how attractive she is. But that's exactly what high maintenance means.

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Originally Posted by igotoverit View Post
I disagree with a lot of what you say and especially getting tables. I never have issues getting good tables, I get good marks because I earn them, and you need to understand that there are a lot of beautiful women. I've never heard of you so your no Cindy crawford.
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:05 PM   #70
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So much vanity
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:05 PM   #71
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One thing I havenít mentioned and also related to looks... This guy is gorgeous. He has the perfect body - obviously works out but not too bulky. Also taller than I am, which is the best. Big blue eyes and a gorgeous smile... Above average, for sure. It is SO difficult for me to find men attractive. I guess I just need to vent on the complete cruelty of this man being married. 😩
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:06 PM   #72
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I don't know Cindy Crawford personally, but I would be shocked if she makes nearly as big a deal about how attractive she is. But that's exactly what high maintenance means.
Agreed as I am turned off of the op because of how pretty she said she was, repeatedly. She would have been better off posting a picture and remaining humble.
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:09 PM   #73
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I was only responding to other people's Posts on my looks. Itís really not a big deal yet on a daily basis. I mean, youíll never catch me leaving my bathroom in the morning without makeup on, but Iíve been doing that since I was 10. It is a big part of my life and in my experience, women lose their husbands a lot more often, WITHOUT HAVING A CHOICE, because they let themselves go. My marriage didnít work, but at least the choice was mine.

I donít need to talk about my looks at all, so Iíll be glad to steer the thread in another direction.
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:12 PM   #74
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I was only responding to other people's Posts on my looks. Itís really not a big deal yet on a daily basis. I mean, youíll never catch me leaving my bathroom in the morning without makeup on, but Iíve been doing that since I was 10. It is a big part of my life and in my experience, women lose their husbands a lot more often, WITHOUT HAVING A CHOICE, because they let themselves go. My marriage didnít work, but at least the choice was mine.

I donít need to talk about my looks at all, so Iíll be glad to steer the thread in another direction.
Do that. I am heading out but if you stop talking about your looks, you may win some of us over. We are still reading so that's good.
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:15 PM   #75
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I was only responding to other people's Posts on my looks. It’s really not a big deal yet on a daily basis. I mean, you’ll never catch me leaving my bathroom in the morning without makeup on, but I’ve been doing that since I was 10. It is a big part of my life and in my experience, women lose their husbands a lot more often, WITHOUT HAVING A CHOICE, because they let themselves go. My marriage didn’t work, but at least the choice was mine.

I don’t need to talk about my looks at all, so I’ll be glad to steer the thread in another direction.
Girl!!! I mean this in the best way possible but you might need some help with this. You’re pinning too much of your worth on looks. Most of the happiest marriages I know don’t have bombshell wives with makeup always on fleek and Botox in every wrinkle. Those are the ones who usually have failed marriages because wrong priorities. Happiest marriages when the women make their men HAPPY, loved, and emotionally supported. Looks are down the list of why marriages fail imo , and that’s even counting people who gain a lot of weight.
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