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Found out Dad I was interested in is married?!


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 11th January 2018, 9:49 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by hippychick3 View Post
She's looking for someone to give her validation that this amazing man has a massive crush on her and wants her so badly so she can feel excited and flattered.

A good person would not feel torn in this situation.
It is easy to get flattered, BUT indeed any honorable person learning that the crush is in a relationship / married -***backs off***

I just had to do it, and I've done it once in the past. Also: in my cases guys were both childless and in a process of exiting the marriage. So what? I'd have felt like a piece of sh*t to interfere in someone's relationship, NO matter in what stage.

Btw the guy from my past knocked up a 'lady' like 2 months after filing his divorce and made her his wifey N2, of course now few years later he's back crawling to wifey N1. People like this have no integrity so of course you can expect all types of follow up........
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Old 11th January 2018, 9:52 PM   #47
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I’ve always been a good person...
in a - i hate Hitler and want world peace - kind of way... you are.
in a - i want to screw my son's married coach - you're really not.

in fact, one could argue that you're a terrible mother who decided to put her own "itch" before her child's needs/safety - you decided to literally ***** where your son eats. having an A with his COACH (father of his friend/teammate) could have some serious consequences for your son's life and it's almost baffling that you didn't give that enough thought to stop yourself - almost.

Quote:
...so the thought of doing something like this doesn’t attract me.

But he does.
let me rephrase this for you - the though of having an A doesn't attract you, unless it's with someone who attracts you. in other words - you're only good and moral when there's no temptation. wherever there's a serious test, you WILL fail.

good luck to your kid.

Last edited by minimariah; 11th January 2018 at 9:54 PM..
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Old 12th January 2018, 3:16 AM   #48
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Just for a moment explore how you will embarrass your son. I'm sure he has already noticed your interest in this MM.

Set an example for him and how to handle any MM - stop engaging with him and stop any eye contact/flirting.

That's the example you show your son by your actions.
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Old 12th January 2018, 3:22 AM   #49
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If it is true someone needs validation from a married man's stares that is very sad because many long married men are perhaps the most thirstiest men (with their eyes) and stare a lot because that's really all they have. They are going home to the same woman each night and often not getting as much sex anymore because life happens. A lot of them have no intention of ever cheating so their fun is in harmless flirts and looks with just about every female in sight. It's no flattery unless you find being gendered as a woman flattering. Try going to a male prison - even more flattery

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 12th January 2018 at 3:36 AM..
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Old 12th January 2018, 3:42 AM   #50
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As the others have said, think of the backlash your son will surely receive should you decide to try to chase a married man.

If you won't stay away based on your own integrity, do so for your son. You seem to have very little care or insight into what you're setting him up for here.

This is not all about you.
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Old 12th January 2018, 8:14 AM   #51
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You have some nerve making those kinds of assumptions! You donít seem qualified to give anyone advice, if youíre going to jump to conclusions out of either plain misinformation, or stupidity.

My son is in a multi-town league - the basketball dad lives 4 towns over, my son and his donít go to the same school, have zero activities together, would not see each other unless theyíre in this 3-month a year league.

Conversely, he is also in a town league. There are only 8 boys in his team this year, and all 8 dads flirt with me in some way. Out of these 8, 3 flirt very openly. One of them is attractive, two are average-looking.

The attractive one has been openly flirting since our kids were in kindergarten! Years ago. I have never encouraged him - anytime he starts a conversation, I pull another woman into it. (A woman, because if I invited a man into our conversation, that man would then think Iím interested, and make some kind of move. Been there before.)

I think this townleagueís guyí wife is wonderful! I always feel sorry for her when he acts the way he does as soon as she turns her back. The only women I can be friends are either divorced/single, or in their 50s and older. Any other women will not have any kind of meaningful friendship with me, I assume because of their husbands.

And before anyone accuses me of being the town slut, I have slept with exactly TWO men in my life. And thatís while having a modeling career! There were literally HUNDREDS of times I didnít sleep with someone because I respected myself too much.

So before youíre so quick to make snap and vicious judgments, perhaps ask clarifying questions first?

As Iíve thought about this, I think Iím just tired of all the rules. There are a lot of them for someone like me. Iíve followed them all of my life, and Iím very, very tired.

If anything happens, the good news is that it will be cooled off fast - I just bought a beach house and my son and I will live there all summer long. I know basketball dad summers in Florida, so far from where Iíll be!

Those of you who have been on here longer, is it normal to have to spend half a post defending yourself against vicious accusations?
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Old 12th January 2018, 8:56 AM   #52
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I think people are just confused about why, since you're supremely beautiful and sought after, you are considering going after a married man when you seem to have your pick of any man on earth, many of whom are single and available.
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Old 12th January 2018, 8:59 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by JJacobs View Post
As Iíve thought about this, I think Iím just tired of all the rules. There are a lot of them for someone like me. Iíve followed them all of my life, and Iím very, very tired.
Can you clarify what you mean by this? What kinds of rules? And what do you mean, someone like you?
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:00 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by JJacobs View Post

Those of you who have been on here longer, is it normal to have to spend half a post defending yourself against vicious accusations?


Yup. You shouldn't have to because in your case, your feelings are validated. Coming from a straight 35 year old female, when you mentioned you were a model, it may strike jealousy to others reading your post. I just haven't had any good advice to give you, although, I sympathize.


You seem to attract men but finally attracted a man who you were mutually attracted to and then found out he was married. You also live in a small town which makes it harder to meet men.


I don't want to give you advice so I personally am just listening. Other people have valuable things to say although they sound harsh. This guy is married and you really don't want a married man. I hope you start to feel better about the situation and just stop defending yourself.

Last edited by igotoverit; 12th January 2018 at 9:03 AM..
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:13 AM   #55
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That sounded harsh when I said others might feel jealousy over the model situation. I have heard people say if he is married, go be with another man and forgetting the reason why we are all here. Most of us get stuck on one person, weather it is an ex, crush, infatuation, etc. So to me that advice is easier said then done.


If you like him, he likes you, but he's married then it's going to be a little more difficult for you to move on because he hasn't rejected you. Most of us, have the rejection, are dealing with it and moving on but my point is that your feelings should still be validated. I have lived in a small town before. It's not the easiest for social networking and romance.


I used to be far more attractive and had far more energy then I do now. I lived in a small town and worked for the City Hall. I met a lot of men who said I was attractive but they were involved with other people. I was lonely so it was flattering but insulting at the same time. I get your post more for that reason.
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:19 AM   #56
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I personally know truly NATURALLY beautiful women who never think much of their beauty, and then I have also met women who make a big deal of their "beauty" (and guess what, more often than not, these latter women have to work very hard to maintain their looks). OP: I hate to break this to you, but most women who are not particularly sloppy on their looks get hit on often.
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:24 AM   #57
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I'm not sure I'm completely understanding this "modeling" line of talking as it relates to this situation, but I'm inferring that life is difficult for models because.....? I'm not sure I'm getting why.

No matter what you look like, married people are off limits.
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:24 AM   #58
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Yeah, there is not much to say here... because you seem to think that the rules don't apply to you. But, married men are always off limits.

Not to be unkind, but your high opinion of yourself, your appearance, the fact that other men are all attracted to you, and how you are unable to have female friends under 50 because their husbands are all attracted to you... make you so very unattractive.

Aging is going to be hard for you.

Last edited by BaileyB; 12th January 2018 at 9:29 AM..
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:29 AM   #59
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Old 12th January 2018, 9:41 AM   #60
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Try to take the harsh advice as tough love. Try not to take offense to it and learn from what everyone is saying. You have some level of success that you had off your looks but you will infact age, so you either made enough money to set yourself up for life, or you are at some point, going to have to think of ways to support yourself of something other then your looks. You sound intelligent so I would actually assume, you are going to find a man once you find a way to have your looks just your looks and not mean such a great deal to you personally. Looks are looks but a person is so much more then her appearance. You can attract a man, but looks aren't going to keep them.
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