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Found out Dad I was interested in is married?!


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 3rd February 2018, 4:16 PM   #241
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Again, the three of us were sitting in the restaurant and b-dad walked by

Who's the third person?

Congrats to your son on the win
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Old 3rd February 2018, 4:19 PM   #242
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Iím ecstatic!! 😃

I used to have doubts about whether b-dad was interested or not; not anymore!!

and yes, he wants me!
What do you think he likes about you?
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Old 3rd February 2018, 8:04 PM   #243
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Who's the third person?

Congrats to your son on the win
Oh, thanks!! He was so happy! Theyíve had me tie, three losses and one win... finally! 😃

The third person was my ex, he wanted to be there today.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 8:06 PM   #244
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What do you think he likes about you?
Thatís a good question. I can only go by what other men have told me. They say I have a ďcaringĒ quality, that they like my shyness because Iím not ďout thereď like other women - I assume they mean aggressive. Iím trying so hard to tame my shyness with b-dad, but it might be good that Iím unable to be too forward. If heís like other men, he probably enjoys my passiveness.

Found the perfect song for Facebook!! I really do think these have been helping 😊 ďWhat if this is just the beginning?/Weíre already wet and weíre going to go swimming...Ē

Itís an oldie from Liz Phair but I love it!! There have been others this week - Melissa Etheridgeís ďCome to my windowĒ, Norah Jonesí version of Ray Charlesí ďYou donít know meĒ... The songs tell him everything I canít. 😊
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Old 4th February 2018, 5:33 PM   #245
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He very well can be drawn to the fact youíre not available. That works on men and women like magic.

Having said that - do you think youíre drawn to his unavailability as well?

From personal experience- this works well initially but youíre facing a massive heartbreak if he stays unavailable. Iím in sort of a situation with a letís put it semi - available man that I just thought I have sexual attraction to, I can tell you we got closer (emotionally) and my brain is now totally spinning out of control...totally. And heís arm length far only, I canít imagine how I would have handled my daily life if he had family to spend weekends with....

Maybe itís time to gauge is your flirt safe, for you mainly. You want emotions but not the catastrophic heartbreak kind of emotions. I can tell you mine looked safe (started about the same time as yours) but sparks turned into fire in not too long.... I feel like it will go to that route for you as well if you spend one-on-one time with b-dad under any circumstances....

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Originally Posted by JJacobs View Post
Thatís a good question. I can only go by what other men have told me. They say I have a ďcaringĒ quality, that they like my shyness because Iím not ďout thereď like other women - I assume they mean aggressive. Iím trying so hard to tame my shyness with b-dad, but it might be good that Iím unable to be too forward. If heís like other men, he probably enjoys my passiveness.

Found the perfect song for Facebook!! I really do think these have been helping 😊 ďWhat if this is just the beginning?/Weíre already wet and weíre going to go swimming...Ē

Itís an oldie from Liz Phair but I love it!! There have been others this week - Melissa Etheridgeís ďCome to my windowĒ, Norah Jonesí version of Ray Charlesí ďYou donít know meĒ... The songs tell him everything I canít. 😊
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Old 4th February 2018, 8:34 PM   #246
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He very well can be drawn to the fact youíre not available. That works on men and women like magic.

Having said that - do you think youíre drawn to his unavailability as well?

From personal experience- this works well initially but youíre facing a massive heartbreak if he stays unavailable. Iím in sort of a situation with a letís put it semi - available man that I just thought I have sexual attraction to, I can tell you we got closer (emotionally) and my brain is now totally spinning out of control...totally. And heís arm length far only, I canít imagine how I would have handled my daily life if he had family to spend weekends with....

Maybe itís time to gauge is your flirt safe, for you mainly. You want emotions but not the catastrophic heartbreak kind of emotions. I can tell you mine looked safe (started about the same time as yours) but sparks turned into fire in not too long.... I feel like it will go to that route for you as well if you spend one-on-one time with b-dad under any circumstances....
I think youíre absolutely correct. I am attracted to him also because of his unavailability. I go back and forth between wanting emotional intimacy, and shunning it because I donít know where it would fit in my life right now.

Part of me wants just sex with no strings attached. The other part wants a meaningful relationship. I think a man would have to work really hard to get me to commit emotionally. B-dad already has that advantage because Iím attracted to both his looks and his personality! So I think his potential is high. Except for this pesky thing called adultery.

Iím having a hard time figuring out what I really want. I think for now Iím satisfied with the flirting, it might be because Iíd be very surprised if b-dad made a move to be alone with me. At the same time, it excites me to think of that possibility. Itís a mix of happiness and dread, at the same time. Because what if my emotions get out of hand?

Is he even feeling things to the extent that I am? Does he think of me the way I think of him? It hasnít taken over my life, yet. But I donít have enough experience with romantic feelings to know if I can easily control them.
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Old 4th February 2018, 9:43 PM   #247
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See, thatís the thing: I really donít think heís the type of guy who has a wandering eye. He doesnít strike me as a player at all. If he is one, heís really good at feigning shyness.

And I have to be honest, I was very bothered by his wifeís presence at first, but last time I wasnít at all. I took one look at her and then she completely left my radar. I was a lot more interested in dealing with my emotions when I saw him and not letting them take over.

Am I being too naive in thinking heís not the cheating type? I mean, nothing has happened between us, we havenít done anything. Probably, nothing will happen. The jury is still out on my part on whether he would cheat or not. I donít know why but Iíve built him up as a faithful man who finds another woman attractive. This doesnít bother me. I really think Iím okay with not consummating this.
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Old 5th February 2018, 8:57 AM   #248
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As there are already three directives from moderation in this thread I will not bother repeating them except to say that there will be no more warnings for those choosing to ignore them.

Three members are currently suspended and there is room for more if need be. ~T
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Old 6th February 2018, 10:06 PM   #249
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Oh guys... What a day!

It started out well enough - I saw an email from him this morning that he had sent last night! To the group. I noticed that my name was the only one saved as a contact - looked at my exís email later in the day and confirmed my name was also the only one showing as a contact in his email from coach as well!

So the email was telling us about a new practice time. So I replied saying Iíd have to show it to my son because he always asks to get there half an hour early and I usually say yes! Then I just said thank you for letting us know and Iíll see you tonight.

I was replying to him, so technically he didnít owe me a reply... But I wanted one! I didnít ask any questions or anything, but I wanted some nonsense emails from him. I wanted communication. Nothing.

Then I go to practice less early than usual... But still early. Iím waiting for the previous parents to leave the bleachers so that I can sit down, and see him to my right. I donít look at him.

I walk to my seat and by now heís directly in front of me and as I turn my back to him to sit down, I hear him say ďI thought Iíd see you here....Ē I have a suspicion heís talking to me, but there are a lot of people there.

I turn around and look at him. Heís staring at me, putting his things down and smiling wide. I already know that smile - itís his super flirty smile! I pretend I didnít hear him and say ďWhatís that?Ē nonchalantly. (I was mad at him!)

He says with that big smile ďI thought Iíd see you here... early.Ē Heís referencing the email he didnít reply to, probably because he wanted a line to say in person! 😃😃 It sounded rehearsed. I think he messed it up the first time he said it, because he only added ďearlyĒ to the second time...

This guy is not a player. I could see the nervousness in his face, but he was still very clearly flirting!

My heart melted and I was no longer angry, so I smiled and told him ďI know, I tried to get out of it but couldnít...Ē I looked away and he took off his sweatshirt.

During practice this annoying mom kept talking to me so I could barely watch him. But there was one time when he was facing me, our eyes locked, I looked away and looked back at him quickly... He had turned his head but his eyes had stayed on me! I canít remember who looked away first but I think it was me.

At the end of practice, he was still shooting around so I bribed my son with Juicy Fruit to go shoot around some more 😂 B-dad came back to where I was sitting and I called him, told him that before I forget I should let him know my son has an 11:00 am game on Saturday so we might be late to b-dadís game at 12;10. He tells my son good luck and he and his son are sitting down getting ready to leave, me and my son are doing the same.

There are other people leaving and annoying mom says goodbye to him, he doesnít even respond! I liked that 😊 He gives me so much more attention, itís nice to compare. He and I and my son keep talking, Iím enjoying staring at his face... And he smiles at me a lot.

Then he gets up to leave and Iím facing him, standing up. I get up pretty close to him, smile my sweetest smile, tilt my head and softly say ďSee you Saturday...Ē You guys should have seen his smile! Itís hard to explain in writing but we had a moment.

I had to stop with my son as we were leaving and b-dad caught up to us. I noticed he stopped walking when he reached us, as if he was letting us go first... He didnít want to walk ahead of us. I kept walking, flipped my hair and stuck out my butt just in case he was checking it out! 😃

My son and I stopped at the restaurant again.... B-dad told us ďSee yaĒ one more time... I said it again even though it felt as if we didnít want to say it... How many times can we say goodbye? 😊 (This is an old Dionne Warwick song!)

Iím pretty elated. I wanted more flirting but practice was pretty intense tonight, he looked really busy!

But I got to see how he treats other parents, and the way he is still starting conversations with me gives me hope. But I really donít know if he will ever have the courage to turn up the heat... I posted Hall and Oatesí ďOne on one ď on my Facebook this morning (because Iíd see him tonight...) and Iím positive heís checking it out... I hope he knows itís for him, but I still feel I need to act more interested. Everything Iíve done could still be leaving him in doubt... I have so much more staring to do! 😃
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Old 6th February 2018, 10:33 PM   #250
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Those of you following this thread who are not against my interest in b-dad... What do you make of it? Am I reading too much into his behavior? Men usually ask me out, he seems to be doing one hell of a dance around the issue, or heís just not interested enough. Does this seem like something that will progress?
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Old 6th February 2018, 11:28 PM   #251
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Those of you following this thread who are not against my interest in b-dad... What do you make of it? Am I reading too much into his behavior? Men usually ask me out, he seems to be doing one hell of a dance around the issue, or heís just not interested enough. Does this seem like something that will progress?
I trust your intuition is not too off. He's probably reading into your interest as well. But since he's not single, I think the whole situation is much different from other flirts that you've experienced.

The question is what do you want to happen. Keep in mind here you are entering the territory of a potential heartbreak....... Even if nothing happens but he withdraws not, it will be painful, right? Now imagine if you had got closer and he withdraws. Be very cautious IMO.
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Old 6th February 2018, 11:31 PM   #252
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Those of you following this thread who are not against my interest in b-dad... What do you make of it? Am I reading too much into his behavior? Men usually ask me out, he seems to be doing one hell of a dance around the issue, or heís just not interested enough. Does this seem like something that will progress?
Are you expecting him to ask you out on a date?
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Old 7th February 2018, 2:17 AM   #253
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Those of you following this thread who are not against my interest in b-dad... What do you make of it? Am I reading too much into his behavior? Men usually ask me out, he seems to be doing one hell of a dance around the issue, or heís just not interested enough. Does this seem like something that will progress?
Is he like those other guys who ask you out? He's not? Well there's your answer.

Being an attractive man means you don't have to do the chasing like all the other members of your gender. A couple things are at play here:

1) This is a man who spent his whole life not getting rejected by women. If he expresses interest in you and you reject him, that's going to sting a lot worse than some unattractive dude living in his mom's basement who gets rejected by women all the time and is used to it. Pride is at stake for him here. Don't underestimate that.

2) It's not just that he's never had to chase after women, but that women have chased after him. He's never learned how to be a "player" because he's never had to. Why come up with silly pick up lines or whatever when you can walk into a club and women approach you without you having to say a word to them?

Try looking at it from his perspective. It's going to take more of an effort on your part with him than it would with the "average Joe".

Good luck and keep us posted!
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Old 7th February 2018, 8:47 AM   #254
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I trust your intuition is not too off. He's probably reading into your interest as well. But since he's not single, I think the whole situation is much different from other flirts that you've experienced.

The question is what do you want to happen. Keep in mind here you are entering the territory of a potential heartbreak....... Even if nothing happens but he withdraws not, it will be painful, right? Now imagine if you had got closer and he withdraws. Be very cautious IMO.
I think I have crossed a line.

What do I want to happen? Everything. I want the sex and the intimacy and the pain and the joy and I can handle the unavailability! I want it all. I won’t be dumb enough to think he’d leave his wife, but I want the experience of him. It’s taken me a while to come to this conclusion, but I’m so incredibly tired of putting up walls. I’ve been doing it for so long. I don’t just want this man for sex. Sex is easy. I want all of him.
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Old 7th February 2018, 8:50 AM   #255
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Are you expecting him to ask you out on a date?
Of course. As I just mentioned in another post, I want to see where this goes. It would be the logical progression.
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