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Woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye


rustyrockets

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a woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye. we have only met and spoken once in over a year, 2 weeks ago……..i only see her when she is parking or getting into her car, not an ideal time to start a conversation and much more of a crap shoot timing wise.

i wanted to get the women of this forums advice on whether i should leave her a note…..she knows my name and who i am…..so its not like i am a total stranger………the note would simple and to the point …….. it was nice meeting you, couple personality traits i liked, an invite for a drink/hike and my number……..

given the scenario………what do you ladies think?

 

we are both in our mid-30’s if that means anything

 

please and thank you.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Hmmmm, if both of you have dogs and could run into each other walking dogs that would be way more natural! Or getting your mail....or just taking a walk..... I'm not sure I'd love the note on my car approach....

 

Do you know what her "schedule" is like? Do you park near her? Could you be cleaning out your car one day when she gets home?

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mortensorchid

Leave a note to do this? Well ... That's one way, but a more direct approach is to knock on her door and ask to see her. That's how you get your point across. A note she can ignore, remember.

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Scarlett.O'hara

If I was in this situation I would consider a guy I spoke to only once as a stranger with a familiar face.

 

If you have only spoken once in a year, is it possible that she won't even remember you that well? It is also worth considering whether finding a note on her car might feel uncomfortable, like she is being watched or pressured to say yes because you know where she lives?

 

Unless she gives off really positive signs when she sees you, or you are able to naturally start a conversation with her, it would be best to avoid unsolicited romantic advances, out of respect for her privacy at home, especially if she lives alone.

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No notes on her car. That feels stalkerish and creepy. Ditto for randomly knocking on her door. Unless you're the FedEx guy, I don't want strange men showing up uninvited on my doorstep.

 

Start accidentally bumpng into her more. Make numerous trips to your car around the time she's out and about in your neighborhood. Dog or no dog, start walking around your neighborhood for exercise. Go to your mailbox around the time she's coming or leaving her home. Garden around the time she comes home. Focus on getting your paths to cross by spending more time outside. When they do, chat her up, and if that's is going well, ask her out.

Edited by angel.eyes
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I agree that making time to "be around" when she's coming or going is probably better than leaving a note on her car, but it can be equally creepy that whenever you're leaving the house or coming home, that guy is out, chatting me up! Whenever you leave, he's there. When you come home, he's there. When you check the mail or do laundry (is there a laundry room?), there is he is.

 

Even if she's interested, this can come across as too much, the creeper neighbor, so I think the OP needs to be careful about a good balance with this approach.

 

I do think it's better to connect in person in this situation. I honestly can't say if a note on my car or door would be creepy to me because if I was interested, I might welcome it, but if not interested, well, ignore, but it could very well have a creepy vibe.

 

I'm considering the same sort of issue like with dating a coworker. You need downtime and time apart, and this guy lives 4 doors down, and he's always out when you're out. You can't even check the mail or walk the dog without him showing up. If things don't work out, he's there, like all the time. He knows your car and your apartment. There's no separation. Be cautious in your approach.

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a woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye. we have only met and spoken once in over a year, 2 weeks ago……..i only see her when she is parking or getting into her car, not an ideal time to start a conversation and much more of a crap shoot timing wise.

i wanted to get the women of this forums advice on whether i should leave her a note…..she knows my name and who i am…..so its not like i am a total stranger………the note would simple and to the point …….. it was nice meeting you, couple personality traits i liked, an invite for a drink/hike and my number……..

given the scenario………what do you ladies think?

 

we are both in our mid-30’s if that means anything

 

please and thank you.

 

i think leaving a note on a car is kind of weird. just walk to to her and talk to her. what you could do is hang around and do a "oh, you just happen to be walking in the same corridor as she is" and start up a conversation. trust me, she will know you intentionally were hanging around and timing it so you could talk to her.. women are pretty intuitive.

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The next time you see her at her car, ask her out.

 

Do not leave a not, do not knock on her door, do not loiter in her hallway. I live in a building and would not feel secure if someone did any of the above.

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Hmmmm, if both of you have dogs and could run into each other walking dogs that would be way more natural! Or getting your mail....or just taking a walk..... I'm not sure I'd love the note on my car approach....

 

Do you know what her "schedule" is like? Do you park near her? Could you be cleaning out your car one day when she gets home?

 

 

 

Well if you do any of this and she is interested, it could be magical. If she does not find you attractive you are a stalker.

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IMO you missed your window of opportunity when you met and spoke that one time.

 

Chasing her down or purposely start running into her is stalker-ish.

 

Just leave it to chance. If you see her when you are grabbing a coffee or something like that, start a conversation. Ask her out.

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No notes. Try to talk to her again sometime and see if you guys have something in common. Why don't you wait for her to get out of her car one evening and talk to her again?

At this point, do you know if she's single? Talk to her before inviting her to a date.

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thank you for those that replied, perhaps i didnt describe the situation as clearly as i should have:

 

- met her 2 weeks ago - either will remember me if interested or not if not

 

- i asked about leaving note on door, not car, understand this can be an invasion thus posting here

 

- waiting for her to get in/out of car is creepy and quite frankly something i don't have time for

 

- never see her, thus the note idea - I'm a person of action, not waiting around for something that happens - if it works out cool - if not cool as well

 

- i do respect others space and don't wish to make people feel uncomfortable........

 

 

 

 

[]

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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CautiouslyOptimistic

I misunderstood and thought you meant a note on her car.

 

I used to live in a large apartment complex and would have felt really uncomfortable if someone I'd only met once put a note on my door.

 

How did you two finally meet after living there for a year?

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I misunderstood and thought you meant a note on her car.

 

I used to live in a large apartment complex and would have felt really uncomfortable if someone I'd only met once put a note on my door.

 

Exactly, especially if she is living alone..

"You don't really know me, but I have been watching and keeping my eye on you.

And...

I know where you live..."

EEK!!!

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How did you find out which unit she lives in? Unless you met her right outside her door or she mentioned it during your conversation, she’s going to be extremely creeped out if you leave a note on her door.

 

Since you often see her getting out of her car, I think you should say hi the next time you see her. If she smiles and says hi back, go up to her and start a conversation and ask for her number before you leave. If she doesn’t give it to you or you lose your nerve and don’t ask her for it, leave her alone.

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  • 4 weeks later...

You should get on Nextdoor.com and see if your area has that forum going. You put in your location and it sees if it's already in existence. Then once you join, if you know her name, you can see if she's on there. It's not a dating thing. It's a neighbors thing. If she is on there, you can reply to some posts and see if she's active or make a post about something that happens at the apts. or you can PM her there.

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