LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Friends and Lovers

Woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Like Tree13Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 30th November 2017, 8:37 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2
Woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye

a woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye. we have only met and spoken once in over a year, 2 weeks ago……..i only see her when she is parking or getting into her car, not an ideal time to start a conversation and much more of a crap shoot timing wise.
i wanted to get the women of this forums advice on whether i should leave her a note…..she knows my name and who i am…..so its not like i am a total stranger………the note would simple and to the point …….. it was nice meeting you, couple personality traits i liked, an invite for a drink/hike and my number……..
given the scenario………what do you ladies think?

we are both in our mid-30’s if that means anything

please and thank you.
rustyrockets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th November 2017, 8:42 PM   #2
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,169
Hmmmm, if both of you have dogs and could run into each other walking dogs that would be way more natural! Or getting your mail....or just taking a walk..... I'm not sure I'd love the note on my car approach....

Do you know what her "schedule" is like? Do you park near her? Could you be cleaning out your car one day when she gets home?
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th November 2017, 10:51 PM   #3
Established Member
 
mortensorchid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 4,381
Leave a note to do this? Well ... That's one way, but a more direct approach is to knock on her door and ask to see her. That's how you get your point across. A note she can ignore, remember.
mortensorchid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th November 2017, 11:01 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: east coast
Posts: 7,247
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Hmmmm, if both of you have dogs and could run into each other walking dogs that would be way more natural! Or getting your mail....or just taking a walk..... I'm not sure I'd love the note on my car approach....

Do you know what her "schedule" is like? Do you park near her? Could you be cleaning out your car one day when she gets home?
All good advice. You should arrange it so you can bump into her more often, chat a bit, and then maybe decide if you want to ask her out.

Do not leave a note. I can almost guarantee nothing good will come of that. She will either ignore it or think you are creepy.
enigma32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th November 2017, 11:32 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Scarlett.O'hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,039
If I was in this situation I would consider a guy I spoke to only once as a stranger with a familiar face.

If you have only spoken once in a year, is it possible that she won't even remember you that well? It is also worth considering whether finding a note on her car might feel uncomfortable, like she is being watched or pressured to say yes because you know where she lives?

Unless she gives off really positive signs when she sees you, or you are able to naturally start a conversation with her, it would be best to avoid unsolicited romantic advances, out of respect for her privacy at home, especially if she lives alone.
Scarlett.O'hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 12:30 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,305
No notes on her car. That feels stalkerish and creepy. Ditto for randomly knocking on her door. Unless you're the FedEx guy, I don't want strange men showing up uninvited on my doorstep.

Start accidentally bumpng into her more. Make numerous trips to your car around the time she's out and about in your neighborhood. Dog or no dog, start walking around your neighborhood for exercise. Go to your mailbox around the time she's coming or leaving her home. Garden around the time she comes home. Focus on getting your paths to cross by spending more time outside. When they do, chat her up, and if that's is going well, ask her out.

Last edited by angel.eyes; 1st December 2017 at 12:32 AM..
angel.eyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 6:32 AM   #7
Established Member
 
act00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,431
I agree that making time to "be around" when she's coming or going is probably better than leaving a note on her car, but it can be equally creepy that whenever you're leaving the house or coming home, that guy is out, chatting me up! Whenever you leave, he's there. When you come home, he's there. When you check the mail or do laundry (is there a laundry room?), there is he is.

Even if she's interested, this can come across as too much, the creeper neighbor, so I think the OP needs to be careful about a good balance with this approach.

I do think it's better to connect in person in this situation. I honestly can't say if a note on my car or door would be creepy to me because if I was interested, I might welcome it, but if not interested, well, ignore, but it could very well have a creepy vibe.

I'm considering the same sort of issue like with dating a coworker. You need downtime and time apart, and this guy lives 4 doors down, and he's always out when you're out. You can't even check the mail or walk the dog without him showing up. If things don't work out, he's there, like all the time. He knows your car and your apartment. There's no separation. Be cautious in your approach.
act00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 6:40 AM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Into the great wide open
Posts: 699
Quote:
Originally Posted by rustyrockets View Post
a woman in my neighboring building has caught my eye. we have only met and spoken once in over a year, 2 weeks ago……..i only see her when she is parking or getting into her car, not an ideal time to start a conversation and much more of a crap shoot timing wise.
i wanted to get the women of this forums advice on whether i should leave her a note…..she knows my name and who i am…..so its not like i am a total stranger………the note would simple and to the point …….. it was nice meeting you, couple personality traits i liked, an invite for a drink/hike and my number……..
given the scenario………what do you ladies think?

we are both in our mid-30’s if that means anything

please and thank you.
i think leaving a note on a car is kind of weird. just walk to to her and talk to her. what you could do is hang around and do a "oh, you just happen to be walking in the same corridor as she is" and start up a conversation. trust me, she will know you intentionally were hanging around and timing it so you could talk to her.. women are pretty intuitive.
jjgitties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 6:56 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 13,871
The next time you see her at her car, ask her out.

Do not leave a not, do not knock on her door, do not loiter in her hallway. I live in a building and would not feel secure if someone did any of the above.
__________________
To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.
Kamille is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 8:08 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 795
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Hmmmm, if both of you have dogs and could run into each other walking dogs that would be way more natural! Or getting your mail....or just taking a walk..... I'm not sure I'd love the note on my car approach....

Do you know what her "schedule" is like? Do you park near her? Could you be cleaning out your car one day when she gets home?


Well if you do any of this and she is interested, it could be magical. If she does not find you attractive you are a stalker.
ChatroomHero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 10:26 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 515
Definitely don't knock on the door!
sdraw108 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 10:29 AM   #12
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 12,850
IMO you missed your window of opportunity when you met and spoke that one time.

Chasing her down or purposely start running into her is stalker-ish.

Just leave it to chance. If you see her when you are grabbing a coffee or something like that, start a conversation. Ask her out.
__________________

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 11:11 AM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 949
No notes. Try to talk to her again sometime and see if you guys have something in common. Why don't you wait for her to get out of her car one evening and talk to her again?
At this point, do you know if she's single? Talk to her before inviting her to a date.
irresolute is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 1:37 PM   #14
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2
neighbor - part 2

thank you for those that replied, perhaps i didnt describe the situation as clearly as i should have:

- met her 2 weeks ago - either will remember me if interested or not if not

- i asked about leaving note on door, not car, understand this can be an invasion thus posting here

- waiting for her to get in/out of car is creepy and quite frankly something i don't have time for

- never see her, thus the note idea - I'm a person of action, not waiting around for something that happens - if it works out cool - if not cool as well

- i do respect others space and don't wish to make people feel uncomfortable........




[]

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 1st December 2017 at 2:43 PM.. Reason: Duplicate content redacted
rustyrockets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2017, 2:47 PM   #15
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,169
I misunderstood and thought you meant a note on her car.

I used to live in a large apartment complex and would have felt really uncomfortable if someone I'd only met once put a note on my door.

How did you two finally meet after living there for a year?
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Caught a woman looking at me and then she looked away... Ross MwcFan Dating 36 8th January 2012 8:43 PM
Caught him in bed with another woman but never told him and just went NC Snugglepuss Breaks and Breaking Up 2 11th May 2010 4:11 PM
I'm the woman who caught b/f cheating with married woman BetrayedLady Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 9 7th March 2009 7:23 PM
Neighboring Ex's Saros200k Coping 1 30th August 2008 8:23 PM
Caught wo-timing by new woman gto Archive 3 27th March 2001 7:41 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:39 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.