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OMG i kissed my best friend of 10 years !!!


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 20th October 2017, 1:24 AM   #1
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OMG i kissed my best friend of 10 years !!!

So 2 days ago, i was hanging out with my only male bestfriend from university days, he was always my male friend that i always really loved and respected. I always knew he has something for me but i was always in relationships and he always knew about all of them. This guy, is outstandingly smart & the funniest guy i know thats why i always keep him around. I liked him several times through our friendship but i always knew it would never work out first because i am not physically attracted to him, he kinda looks like a hippie guy with long beard and long hair & very thin body. But i was always always attracted to his brains, he never failed to impress me & always thought he is way smarter than me.

Back to our story, we were hanging out 2 days ago, had a couple of drinks & as usual we were laughing our asses out, went to his place & asked me to sleep at his place and that he will sleep in the living room. after a lot of convincing, i agreed. He escorted me to his room & found each other severely kissing. I was shocked, i knew there was attraction all the way of our friendship, but i never thought we would end up kissing.

After some cuddling i asked him to leave the room because i dont want us to lose each other as friends. The next morning i woke him up before going to work, didnt let me to go asked me to take a sick leave and to sleep next to him, i had to sleep next to him because he insisted. I just wanted to go home because it was really awkward for me.

Now after this event, we both are feeling awkward about it, talking awkwardly and i dont know where this is going to take ups.

A small part of me wishes that i can accept him and be with him, because he is the only guy that i really enjoy my time with, but on the other side, i am not ready for a relationship since i still long for my ex fiancÚ & physically i dont like how he looks like or how in purpose he doesnt take care of himself.

Any insights about this???? so confused !!!
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Old 20th October 2017, 6:53 AM   #2
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Like many OSF turn out to be, he is not your "friend" in the true sense of the word, just some guy who wants to sleep with you.
He may "love" you, he may only love the challenge of you, or he is just horny atm, who knows?
But if you are not physically attracted then put him straight. Do not go down the route of "the short guy" again...
If he decides to bail then so be it, he was never really your friend, he just wanted "more".

Last edited by elaine567; 20th October 2017 at 6:53 AM.. Reason: removed quote
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Old 20th October 2017, 7:10 AM   #3
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we were friends, i even dated his bestfriend during the whole 3 years of college. I just admire a lot to let him go & at the same time i wouldnt mind being with him if he makes some changes. BUT dating him would be a little bit challenging since is extremely intelligent & thats what i like about him.

Any stories about friends becoming lovers after a while?
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Old 20th October 2017, 7:24 AM   #4
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"I had to sleep next to him because he insisted."
You didn't HAVE to do anything!
What kind of friend is he to "insist" you stay and sleep next to him.?
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Old 20th October 2017, 7:28 AM   #5
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"I had to sleep next to him because he insisted."
You didn't HAVE to do anything!
What kind of friend is he to "insist" you stay and sleep next to him.?
He wanted to hug me before i go, i didnt feel like doing this because it felt awkward since we have been friends for so long. Yes he insisted...
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Old 20th October 2017, 9:49 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
A small part of me wishes that i can accept him and be with him, because he is the only guy that i really enjoy my time with, but on the other side, i am not ready for a relationship since i still long for my ex fiancÚ & physically i dont like how he looks like or how in purpose he doesnt take care of himself.
Any insights about this???? so confused !!!
You are using this guy and leading him on. At this point you are obligated to have a serious discussion with him regarding your true feelings. If he accepts it and is willing to remain your friend then his heartache is on him. Right now what you are doing is just unconscionable.
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Old 20th October 2017, 9:56 AM   #7
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"I had to sleep next to him because he insisted."
You didn't HAVE to do anything!
What kind of friend is he to "insist" you stay and sleep next to him.?
I agree it sounds a bit creepy and off to me.
If he had "insisted" you have sex, would you have felt the need to comply too?
If you wanted to get close then great, but if he made you feel you had to do as he wanted, then that is not good.
Stand up for yourself and do not do stuff you don't want to do just because you fear disappointing or upsetting other people.
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Old 23rd October 2017, 1:04 AM   #8
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I agree it sounds a bit creepy and off to me.
If he had "insisted" you have sex, would you have felt the need to comply too?
If you wanted to get close then great, but if he made you feel you had to do as he wanted, then that is not good.
Stand up for yourself and do not do stuff you don't want to do just because you fear disappointing or upsetting other people.
You pointed a thing that i really do have, not being able to say no so i wont upset people. Thats what happened with the one i dated for 2 months. As for my friend, i have known him for a long time & i was attracted to him several times during our friendship. As i previously said, he is the smartest guy i know & i am a little bit sapiosexual, brains turn me on.

Not planning to get into a relationship with him, i really want to stay alone for a while. During this weekend, i let him admit how he feel about me, he told me he liked me for the whole 10 years but i was always unavailable & now that i am finally single he thought it was the right time to kiss me.

I dont know why i have been thinking about him the whole time since then, scary thing !
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Old 22nd January 2018, 3:24 AM   #9
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Oh god !! we kissed again yesterday night !! what does this supposed to mean ?
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Old 22nd January 2018, 4:47 AM   #10
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Are you attracted to him physically or not?

If you're not, and can never see yourself being attracted in that way, then it's best to let him find a woman that would be all in with him.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 5:20 AM   #11
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I am more attracted emotionally to him ! I mean he is so smart and i love how smarter he is than me... he is so witty. He is not a handsome guy though... Full of hair... yesterday night i was attracted to him, but we were drinking red wine so im not sure. I mean i am not sure what does he want as well... I dont think he wants a relationship with me but im 100% sure that he is attracted to me.
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Old 24th January 2018, 3:24 AM   #12
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I asked him to go have a hot chocolate smwhere yesterday night but he declined. I am not sure why he acts weird after smth intimate happens between us. Maybe he doesnt want me to understand things wrong. He never had a girlfriend in his entire life, i know he has his own issues, he is a complete weirdo. Not sure if he behaves this way because i used to be his bestfriend's girlfriend during college days. But i dont think that is the reason, anw i dont think i want to seek a relationship with him but why am i thinking about him ?
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Old 24th January 2018, 9:46 PM   #13
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What if he cleaned up his act? Do you think if he shaved and got his hair styled and dressed better, you might be more attracted to him? I mean, you will possibly make him mad or hurt his feelings, but if you think so you could ease into the conversation by saying "You're just not what I'm used to with your hair and more hair and relentless hair and I wonder if you got a haircut and shave and I picked out some clothes for you, if I'd feel more comfortable -- oh, I'm sorry, it isn't fair for me to try to change you."

But it is if that's really the main issue. If he's staunchly opposed, it's hopeless, of course.
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Old 25th January 2018, 3:19 AM   #14
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What if he cleaned up his act? Do you think if he shaved and got his hair styled and dressed better, you might be more attracted to him? I mean, you will possibly make him mad or hurt his feelings, but if you think so you could ease into the conversation by saying "You're just not what I'm used to with your hair and more hair and relentless hair and I wonder if you got a haircut and shave and I picked out some clothes for you, if I'd feel more comfortable -- oh, I'm sorry, it isn't fair for me to try to change you."

But it is if that's really the main issue. If he's staunchly opposed, it's hopeless, of course.
haha, he is someone that doesnt obey easily. I advised him to change his eyeglasses like months ago and last time i saw him i discovered that he did indeed was looking for new eyeglasses which surprised me. He is someone that acts tough and strong to hide behind his insecurities. He just doesnt let his feelings easily because as per my guess he is always afraid of rejection so he masks out with this tough unbreakable guy. I am not doing any effort to seek a relationship with my friend, he is a very good guy and he is a very smart one and i am intimidated by that but i am not gonna work on something that may never happen, If he really has feelings for me not only hormones he will figure it out.
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Old 27th January 2018, 3:44 PM   #15
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I'd also like to kiss my best friend of 3 years because she's smoking hot, thoughts?

Jokes aside, I never did kiss her or made a move on her primarily because she wasn't attractive to me. When I look at her objectively, I see a very pretty, cute, intelligent woman, close to being a whole package. But in my shoes, she's just one of my best friends so I don't feel that gravitation towards her. There is no sexual feelings on my part. Still would kiss her though.
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