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Do I make a move on this girl or move on?

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 30th August 2017, 9:20 PM   #1
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Do I make a move on this girl or move on?

So, my situation’s a little weird, and now I find myself here. When I asked this girl out, I actually had no idea she was dating somebody…, and that somebody I happen to work with.
I mean, I looked at Facebook, says she’s single, no pictures of other guy whatsoever. I asked her to hang out out, she obliged, and after a drink or two, she was all over me. At this point, I don’t know about said guy, but from our conversations tried to walk cautiously..I actually don’t like stealing women away. I mentioned I was going salsa dancing…and SHE ASKED ME if she could come. And she did, and we had fun, but by now it was pretty clear what was going on. She does seem unhappy with the guy, I” say that. Now, this is where it gets uncomfortable. The following week, she invites a bunch of people out salsa dancing…including her boyfriend, which is now plainly obvious…except…who does she dance with? Me, for the majority of the night, and who does she grab by the shoulder and flirt with? Me. So now, I feel like a douche, and I really don’t know which way to go at this point. My first thought is, “she’s just trying to make her man jealous, so they can have a heated argument later,” is about the only logical thing I can come up with here.
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Old 30th August 2017, 9:35 PM   #2
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Move On

Hey missufan01,

This woman has the potential to cause you a lot of problems (if she hasn't done that already). It's anyone's guess how she's going to react if you make a move but you would be compromising on your principles and that won't feel good. Besides, you may really hurt your colleague when he finds out and things are going to get weird at work. Move on man. Plenty of better girls out there!

Attraction is a reflex, not a choice.
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Old 30th August 2017, 9:35 PM   #3
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I always say what a person does with you, they'll do to you. Imagine being her boyfriend and she is actively searching for your replacement right in front of you. That would be infuriating and down right depressing. I'd leave her alone to be honest. No need in complicating your life more than it has to be.
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Old 31st August 2017, 2:31 AM   #4
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No don't make a move on her.

If I was at that salsa dance, I would have made it entertaining in my own way. The woman in question would definitely be wearing a sad face as I subtly insult her all night long. She would not be getting the type of attention she wants from me.

Pick up another woman in front of her lol. What the hell is she doing wasting your time like that? She wanted you to jump through some firey hoops while her current date was watching? naaa. She is telling you what kind of woman she is. You should be thankfull.
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Old 31st August 2017, 2:49 AM   #5
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She's introduced her boyfriend into your life. And she's playing really silly games.

Cut her off completely.
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Old 31st August 2017, 2:58 AM   #6
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you probably feel all kinds of wrong so listen to your heart ...the message will be clear .....stay away....i wish you well....deb
in the ache of night,luminous prayers take fragile flight,
somewhere between battalions of warring sins,
there exists hope and love for peace begins...deb
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Old 31st August 2017, 6:31 AM   #7
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Move on. You can tell her you are moving on because she has a BF & to look you up if that changes but you do need to leave her alone or you will be violating your own code of ethics.
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Old 31st August 2017, 1:56 PM   #8
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She's playing games with both you and her poor boyfriend. You should totally cut her off.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 19th September 2017, 9:31 PM   #9
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Lol this girl is psycho. I completely cut her off, stopped talking to her, stopped going dancing with her, she would do everything to try to flirt with me when she saw me. She even, in front of her bf, said she wanted to make out with me; and today when i told her I can't go salsa dancing because I started going with someone else, started crying and said I was cheating on her. that's you that's why I cut you off lol.
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