NotASkunk Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 I am over 10 years out of a romantic and emotional relationship with a man that I loved very much. He always thought the worst of me and accused me of things I did not do throughout our relationship. We ended up breaking up or year and a half ago because my anger was never able to be laid down due to the fact that he thought so little of me and did from the very beginning of our relationship. Anyway! After being away from him for the last two or three months and maybe a month prior to that I started a conversation with somebody from Facebook. Somebody who was always in the background peripherally and I didn't have any interaction with him until my ex and I were completely done. I am giddy over his support emotionally and physically and he fuels my imagination in so many ways. Yet… I know he is not somebody that I want to be with in the long term and I have known that since we began talking. I'm trying to reconcile my feelings of being a person who was always with just one man for the last 10 years and being oriented to that sort of lifestyle to being a woman who is just enjoying somebody for the sake of just enjoying him! I've talk to my therapist about it and she says that nobody is being hurt and that I should just enjoy it. But there's such a huge part of me that feels guilty almost! Or like I need to advance this into maybe something more? Even though I don't want anything more with him. He has children, he's a lot older than me. Well, he's seven years older than me. I'm 53. And why am I having so much trouble just enjoying this? Because I enjoy him immensely when we are with each other. Trying to understand this on my own and through therapy but thought I would try to reach out and see if anybody had any opinions for me. He is exciting beyond belief physically and I am so grateful for his support and kindness. I have been in such a low place for so many years and to have somebody just realize that I am somebody that needs a little extra care, he totally gets that about me. I don't even begin to fantasize that it might become more than what it is because I don't want that right now, I love being my own woman. In my relationship of the last 10 years I was not appreciated for what I did and I'm really enjoying my home and my lifestyle now. For my own sake. I'm grateful to have a lover who is kind and sexy that I am trying to understand the guilt and somehow the shallowness that also is part of it. Thanks for any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Why not just go out (don't waste too much time talking online) and just see how it feels and do whatever feels best for you at the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NotASkunk Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Doing my best. I enjoy dating but I am left with a fear of relationships after my last experience. I don't like feeling guilty for being with somebody else and I also dislike that waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling if somebody I am seeing may make similar controlling actions that I experienced before. Taking it slow and trying to enjoy it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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