aven Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Okay, this is going to be a long story so please bear with me lol So, I met this one guy about 2 years ago. We'll call him "Logan". He is actually my ex-boyfriend's cousin. Yes, I know this already puts up a red flag, but my ex and I really only dated for 3 months. There weren't any romantic feelings involved, which is why we both decided to end it. We both remained good friends though. Anyway, Logan had been in a 2 year relationship when we met. After my ex and I broke up, Logan and I still remained friends and would see each other from time to time when I hung out with my ex. We sort of had a little chemistry together, and I can't help to admit that I crushed on him slightly. But I let go of the crush considering he had a girlfriend. About one year into knowing him, his girlfriend broke up with him. Literally a day later after it happened, he texted me and asked if I had heard what happened and stuff. We continued to talk about it and he asked if I wanted to come with him to his little brother's soccer game. I decided to go, and we were totally friendly the whole time. Like no other vibe but friendly. After that, he'd text me from time to time and ask if I wanted to go to the gym with him. I went with him a couple times, and the more we went together, the more flirty we were. He even noticed and mentioned when other guys would look at me and get ticked about it. After we'd go to the gym, we would either get food somewhere inexpensive or drive around for a while and just talk. Our conversations would always consist about what we wanted in a relationship and stuff. Logan would always say how he wanted a girl that just stayed home and watched Netflix VS a girl who always partied all the time. And that accurately describes me haha. He also would talk about how mature he is and what he is doing with his life in terms of work, money, etc. Now, I trusted Logan enough to tell him about a rough period of time in my life and how it effected me. He was very supportive of how I felt, and even sent me a long text after just saying how beautiful I was and strong. It made me feel so happy honestly. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. This sounds like he likes me right? Well, here's where the mixed signals come into play. Logan went from texting me every week to disappearing into thin air. I texted him a couple times, but he never texted back. Logan started to go out more it seemed and party and drink. I even saw that he was hanging out with other girls. It hurt a lot to see that. After a while of not hearing from him, I just gave up on it and kept living my life. And then suddenly, I get a text asking me how everything is going in my life. I decided to text back because I'm not into immature games and told him about everything. He asked if I wanted to go to the gym and meet up and I agreed. So after the gym on the way home, we got into a more sexual type of conversation just talking about our regretful hookups. He seemed super nervous talking about it though. When I got home, he texted me for the first time and was making sexual innuendos, which I returned. The next night, he asked me if I wanted to come hangout with him at his dad's place. I decided to go, and upon arrival, I had learned he had been drinking. I didn't mind though, because we were just hanging out as friends. A little while later, he asked if I wanted to stay over because it was really late. I agreed to because I was extremely tired, and we went up into his room. I sat on one side of his bed and he sat on the other, distancing myself. He kept trying to entice me closer by tickling me and stuff. Eventually, I found myself being spooned by him. At first, nothing happened. But then he placed my hand onto his crotch and started feeling me up. I have to admit, it was definitely hot. I felt something. It seemed like he felt it too by the way he was holding me and kissing me. After a little while of that, he decided not to go any further though. He just grabbed me and started cuddling with me like you would to a girlfriend. I loved it. I thought he finally was making a move. Andd then after that incident, he disappeared again for a long time. He still was going out and partying too. Then started the cycle of him texting me from time to time being very sexual then disappearing again. Now recently, we did get together again. We hung out with a few other people at his place, and it was fun. He asked if I wanted to stay over again, and I agreed because I had been drinking a little. We started to cuddle in his bed, and he started kissing me like he had feelings for me. It wasn't one of those, make out, hook up kisses. It was the hold your face kind and kiss your neck and forehead kind. It was very sweet. We almost hooked up actually, but he decided not to and said he's going to be a good boy. And then we cuddled again and fell asleep. Here I am now, in the disappearing stage again. He hasn't texted me since. I sent him a big long text saying if he ever needed someone for a night or just to talk to someone, I was there. He did text back saying he understood what I met and said don't worry. Then nothing back. I'm so confused. I am getting so many mixed signals here and I just don't know what to do or think. Do you think he likes me and just distances himself when he falls to deep because he is afraid of another relationship? Or does he only want me sexually and is a pig. My gut feeling tells me he does and he likes to keep me around in his life still because he doesn't want to push me away too far. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read this. I know it is long, but it's just describing what has been going on over the year. I just need some sort of help in figuring out the right direction to take lol Link to post Share on other sites
Missgirl2 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I would say he were into you but that disappearing is strange. If he does care he wouldn't disappear like that. It think it's best you move on, you dont need someone like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I think that other than sex, he doesn't know what he wants. He'll take NSA sex if you are willing to give it. If you want a relationship with him stay out of his bed & stop the cuddling. It sounds like he initially wanted a rebound filler for his EX because he couldn't stand to be alone. As time when on, he became more of a party boy & now he's having fun. Since you are willing to crawl into his bed & fool around he may no longer see you as GF material. Guys like him often have double standards. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Ask yourself what you want. If you're wanting a relationship, this guy isn't a good bet. He's just out of a relationship, and seems to be enjoying the attention he's getting both from you and other women. Are you comfortable having a ons or a few hookups with someone who engages your emotions but who won't date you and will disappear from your life repeatedly? If that's not your style, stop hanging out with this guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 This isn't a gender specific issue. It's just human. Rejection hurts all of our egos. He's dealing with his by fooling around with other women, drinking, partying.... You can have fun with him if you want to. But don't go expecting head over heels from him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aven Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 I agree with what you all are saying.. I think the whole rejection process did mess up his ego because he went from being a really sweet, humble person before he broke up to an attention hungry hound. It just sucks because I did catch feelings in a way and now I just have to deal with them. I don't honestly want a relationship right now. I want to work on myself and build up my inner self love before I can love someone else. Having someone to cuddle with every once in a while and kiss was nice because it just felt good to be in someone's company for a night. I just allowed myself to fall in a little too deep that's all. For now, I am just going to continue to work on myself and stop focusing on him as much. I just think I need a break from him to re-evaluate my feelings. I don't want a boyfriend right now, and even if I did, I would not want to date him any time soon. He's just too unpredictable right now. In time, he may realize he wants something more. But I'm not going to sit around and wait for him that's for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I wonder if when he talked about wanting a girl to just sit around and not go out was really his way of getting out of taking you on a real date and he just wants to Netflix and chill. He should be asking you out, maybe not partying, but to dinner or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts