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We Both Like Each Other But We're Both In Relationships


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bria_rose16

So, me and my guy friend have known each other since we were little. We have always been close. And, in some way I feel that we have been drawn to each other. But then, we both got into relationships and so in the beginning we stop talking as much. Here and there we would talk, but it was minimal and nothing much.

However, just in the past week, we had a school trip where a group of kids from our class (he is in my grade) got to go to visit colleges. And, although we're both in relationships, we got to talking again and we were discussing relationships and he said he wasn't sure how he was feeling anymore about his relationship, and I said the same thing. In my relationship, we have communication issues and there are other issues. But for him, he said that his girlfriend had gone after this other guy many times, and he worked to get her back, but he wasn't sure why and if he really wanted to keep things going between her.

However, we returned from said trip, and began messaging each other and talking at school just about everyday.

(But before I continue with that, I did come home, and I talked with my boyfriend, because I am in love with him, it has been over two years, and I told him the situation that went on, and how we both said we liked each other, but I wanted to see if he and I (my boyfriend and I) could fix things because I could see myself with him in the future.) My boyfriend was more understanding than I had expected him to be.

Anyways, so my guy friend and I have been talking, even though my boyfriend said he really didn't want us to. But my guy friend and I said we wanted to know if we really had feelings for each other, or if it was simply attraction. So we were planning to hangout after school for a while, but he kept making excuses and then today I message him, because I had stayed after school because we made another plan to hangout, and he told me he left school and he said that he wanted to just be friends and he really did love his girlfriend and he didn't want to see if we liked each other. Basically saying he never liked me and basically playing games with me.

 

Does anyone have any advice and understand why he would act this way? Why he would say he likes me and start talking to me everyday and then say he doesn't? I was beginning to really like him and then he does this? (I do however love my boyfriend very much, but I am in a very stressful and confusing situation, and I am not sure what I should do)

 

I guess I could say I let myself get caught up in his "game" but, he is always trying to be funny around me and he looks at me and he acts like he likes me, but now this.

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It kind of sounds to me like your old friend was just seeing if he could get you if he wanted to. Probably because you've known him forever, he may have at some point had a crush but been too young and scared to say anything, so now he's more confident, he may just have stirred the pot to see what would happen and pump up his own ego. It's also possible he knows he'd lose this girl he's worked to get and keep if he even thought about it. There's this weird thing with guys, the hunter instinct, that sometimes whether the girl is worth it or deserving or not, if they have to work hard to get her, they are more likely to keep her. It's kind of crazy. I've seen guys work hard to get real psychos, and them being psycho was probably why they were hard to get (disorganized, etc.) but yet this to them increases their value.

 

Anyway, bottom line, you guys are very young. Chances are that in two years' time, you won't all be with the same person because this is the beginning of the years you mature and change and explore.

 

You're probably not enough of a challenge for your old friend, who seems to want to make life hard on himself. He's caught up in "winning" this battle to keep this fickle girl he's after, even though he's not even sure he still wants her.

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