sleeplessindallas Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 I work in a male-oriented type retail business with all guys. I’ve always preferred the company of guys and that is probably because I grew up in a neighborhood where there were no girls my age, so I played with the boys. As I reflect now, I realize I have NO women friends. <shrug> I don’t miss it. I’m 47 years old and I am told that I am a young, active, attractive woman, and I guess that, although I don’t see it when I look in the mirror, men usually are attracted to me, so to some extent it must be true. I really have NO idea what they see, but let’s just assume this is true for the sake of my question. I’ve been described as “curvaceous”, “sexy”, and “classy”. I definitely am not trashy and am repulsed by women who use that tactic to attract men. I am not afraid of wearing well-fitting clothes, but I am sure my wardrobe is very tasteful and appropriate at work. With all this being said, here is what’s happening. I work in this retail environment with about eight guys, all of whom I get along with famously. They are all younger than I, and I kind of had thought of myself as sort of the “mom”. Some of them do call me “Mom”. All of them know my 22-year-old son, who works in another location for the same company, and know about my ugly divorce from his father. I have two daughters living with me. Among my co-workers is a really good-looking 30-year-old guy. As the “mom” of the group, I had admired his good looks and wondered why every female who came through the door wasn’t all over him. He has been my favorite friend there, and the one I choose to hang out with most because we seem to be on the same page in terms of our work ethic and our intellects. The fact that he is good looking really has nothing to do with it because he is so young it was a non-issue. I really and truly had had NO thoughts about him other than that some young woman was going to get ahold of him one day and never let go, and good for him. I thought of him as I would a son. A couple of weeks ago, I went out for a smoke break and he was working on something outside. I was telling him some adventure of my son’s, and he needed to go get something inside across the room, so as he started to walk away, he said, “It’s not like I’m running away or anything.” I just shrugged it off and figured when he came back I’d finish telling him. As it turned out, I finished my cigarette and started to walk in just as he was returning, so I said, totally innocently, “Well, it’s not like I’m chasing you, either,” meaning I wasn’t chasing him to force-feed him my story. He responded, “Well, it’s not like I’d MIND if you were chasing me!” At this, all I could say was, “Okay, now you’re scaring me.” He said, “Oh, so now I *scare* you, do I?” I gathered my wits the best I could, shrugged, and just said, “Nah. Not so much.” I pretty much had decided to ignore that this exchange had even happened because the situation is just too complicated to even entertain any thoughts of following up on it. A couple of days later, I had done some work on something, but one of the guys hadn’t really wanted me to because it would have been easier for him if I had waited. He said something about it to me in front of this guy, J, and a couple of other guys. Normally, I am quite capable of defending myself and do so, but J spoke up and said, “Hey! She’s just doing her job. Quit picking on her!” Everyone in the room looked at me as if to ask what the hell was going on. I just shrugged it off because I honestly have no clue what to make of any of this. It was actually quite funny, I thought. Still, I just ignored this stuff and treated J as if he hasn’t said any of these things. I have no idea what I could say to him, or if I should, or if I should just continue to ignore it. To be honest, I am loving it on one level, of course. It’s not like I don’t have guys my own age after me, but this cute young thing is just great eye candy. A couple of days ago, and this is the thing that really has me wondering how serious he might be, I was working in one of the rooms and he walked in to do some work there, too. I’m sure his being there was innocent enough. A song was playing and he was sort of just humming along until this line came along that was, “This lack of sex is driving me crazy...”, which he sang loud and clear. I just didn’t react at all. I nearly died, but I didn’t even flinch because I’m trying to make believe none of this is happening. So what do you think of this stuff? Let me say that I really don’t have a problem with it if he’s interested. That would be great as long as he doesn’t want a complicated relationship. I don’t have time for something like that. But a fling would be awesome as long as he can be totally discrete about it. We don’t have what I would call an emotionally close friendship – our conversations revolve around work or my son – never anything intimate at all or any problem-solving personal stuff. I’d just as soon it stayed that way. I don’t know whether to take this at all seriously, or whether he is just playing around. I sure don’t want to make a fool of myself if he’s not serious, but if he is, and he can play by my rules, this could definitely be worth pursuing. I wouldn’t have a clue how to proceed, but if I really knew he meant business, I think I could figure out the rest on my own. ;-) I’ve consulted two of my guy friends (outside of work) and one answer was, “Of course he’s hitting on you! Just because you’re 47 doesn’t make you old, and you are definitely not old. You’re a young vibrant and very attractive woman.” The other said, “Hey, I’ve been with women old enough to be my mother, and let me tell you, it’s a non-issue. He’s not seeing that aspect of you. He is seeing a classy, attractive woman is all. So of course he’s interested.” <shrug again> I have no idea. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Well usually if you think someone is hitting on you they probably are. He sounds like he is to me. Ask him out for a coffee or something. If it works it works, if it dosnt it dosnt. At least you know. Oh and your age dosnt really matter. I was just on vacation and there was a 40 year old woman that i would have absolutely loved to have gotten with. She was a lesbian though(although it didnt seem to stop her from ripping my shirt of and and groaping me alot heh heh heh.....too bad her girlfriend was there ) Oh and im 28 now. So like i said, its looks, your personality even chemistry you have with people that determine if you like each other or not. Anyways i think you should just ask him out. You are his superior after all lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleeplessindallas Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 *You* are a bad influence. ROFL!!! Luckily, I'm not his superior (except in age). We are both in management so are pretty much on the same level, different departments. And I thought we were just buddies... I wouldn't know how to bring the subject up at this point, since I've been ignoring him, but if it should crop up again, I will probably just tell him "we need to talk." One thing we have in common is that we are straight-shooters, so if the interest persists, we'll probably just talk it out and see where we're at. I just didn't want to address it at all if he was only kidding around, but I guess nobody really kids like this. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 I guess that is a much more workable plan Right to the point saves alot of horrible guess work. Why is it women always call me bad. Im really a good guy I did the right thing heh. Belive me i wanted to do ALOT of wrong things to that one Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleeplessindallas Posted February 20, 2005 Author Share Posted February 20, 2005 I can easily see why you mighthave wanted to do a lot of wrong things in that situation. :-( Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 I'm the "no fun" person on the site. SO I'll do my job 'til the end and warn you that mixing pleasure and fun can and is quite dangerous. Not that you're not able to handle it. But things can escaladate. Question: "Were you alone in the room when he came humming the song?" Wait a little bit more and see if it's for real. If it's just guys, well, you know how guys are, they tell all they are thinking of from the top of their mind. Just take it easy... Link to post Share on other sites
Podna Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Yeah, I think he is hitting on you. I’m 29 and I have been with a 42 year old woman. My best sexual relationship was with this older woman. We had lots of fun. Age was never really an issue. She was attractive on so many levels and she was available so it just seemed like the right thing to do. As for how to approach it, well when I was flirting with this woman she acted much the same way as you have. She would just kind of ignore my comments and play it cool. I was about to give up when she just all of a sudden broke out with some sexual innuendo. (“You can’t handle a women like me boy!” things like that) When I reciprocated the innuendo I guess she took that as a green light. She took me to her house one day (under the guise of having me fix her computer) and BINGO! It was great! Good luck, and have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleeplessindallas Posted February 20, 2005 Author Share Posted February 20, 2005 Curly, I really don't remember who was in the room first - I think I was. But, yes, we were alone in there and each of us legitimately needed to be in there at the time. (He was humming/singing along with piped-in music.) It happens fairly frequently that we are alone together. If your point is that he was just being a 'guy' and trying to get a rise out of me in front of the other guys, that's not it. Other than the situation where he defended me, these exchanges have been private. I know I can handle it - I just don't know if he's old enough to handle it himself. That really is a big question in my mind. Podna, being in Texas makes your handle a real treat! :-) Since I am 'one of the guys', I've considered giving him a dose of that "You can't handle it" stuff, or even, "You have no idea what you're messing with" is more my style. I just haven't worked up the nerve to take him seriously to begin with. It just seems so unlikely to me even with people unanimously telling me he's serious. Part of that, I'm sure, has to do with having been overweight and having a really poor self-image, even after having lost fifty pounds and keeping it off for about five years. I often look in the mirror and still can't believe it's really myself I'm looking at. Who IS that tiny person? It's weird. So I don't really take anyone seriously when they hit on me - I just laugh it off, usually. And *that* may be because I was married for a very long time and was a faithful wife up until a few years ago (when he dumped me). Who knows? Not any more, though, and I am definitely in the mood for some seriously good fun with a FWB who can be cool. Maybe this is the guy and maybe not. Link to post Share on other sites
Podna Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Originally posted by sleeplessindallas Podna, being in Texas makes your handle a real treat! :-) Thanks I can sympathize with the self-esteem problem, I have been there. Let me just offer this one little idea… Imagine what having a crazy romp with a guy who is 17 years younger than you will do for your self-esteem. Think of it as therapy! Just what the doctor ordered! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleeplessindallas Posted February 20, 2005 Author Share Posted February 20, 2005 You are so bad, you're good! Teeheehee.... Yes. Therapy. That's it. Just exactly what I need. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 I think everyone can use that kinda therapy....er but not 17 year younger guy for me. That would be like a 11 year old boy Plus im not into guys.....im into lesbians heh heh Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleeplessindallas Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Two of the 20-something guys went drinking together last night. They were, of course, bragging about their 'conquests' or near-conquests. I just listen and smirk when they go on like the young studlies they think they are. These two I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole... Be that as it may, the younger of the two, who is about 22, I think, said, "Hey! I was talkin' to this 42-year-old woman! She was SUCH a babe!! She even took me out to her car to see her license because I didnt believe she really could be 42 and have a son old enough to be out drinking with us!" I said, "Good lord! You're hitting on 42-year-old women!!??!! For real? She's old enough to be your mother!" He said, "Yeah, no kidding. THAT wouldn't have stopped me, though. I swear to God she was a babe, and there is still no way I believe she was 42, even *after* seeing her license." I really razzed him bad and had the best time because he was still very hung over and miserable, which makes teasing people just a whole lot more fun. I was silently busting a gut after the exchanges we had on this very thread this weekend. Too funny! I guess if twenty years wouldn't have stopped this one, I'm still in safe range. ROFLMAO! Oh, and no, my young friend wasn't in today. Link to post Share on other sites
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