Nina233 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 This guy and I met a year and a half a go, became friends and really clicked. He even courted me at first, was very sweet and caring, but never clearly mentionned he was interested, and he had a girlfriend. He dumped her 2 weeks after we met. Kept being gentle for a little bit then suddenly changed. He started to make real undelicate jokes about me, my family, my appearance, my origins, everything. He said it was just his humour, but it felt aggressive towards me and i'm not one of his guy friends. 5 months after we had met I had to move to a different town. We had already become a bit more distant at this point, but still shared a nice connection (when he wasn't making too many hurtful jokes). I distanced myself cause his attitude was hurting me, and I had started to like him and felt like there was no hope. There were many unsaid things between us, at least on my side. But judging from his weird changes of attitudes, also on his maybe. He asked for news a few weeks after I had left, but the correspondence died fast after I had replied. He was busy with very important exams I must say, but well. He called me once weeks after, but to ask for help for stg... and kept making bad jokes again, I was offended and felt used, we had a fight on Skype. I told him what i thought about his attitude, that i was tired of it, he seemed offended, he always blames me. We talked again a bit after that, again cause he needed help for stg and as I still truly liked him I accepted to help him -(and he also asked for news but he could have before and without needing my help for stg) but I voluntarily distanced myself and stopped showing signs of affection when we'd talk, not always picking up the phone when he'd call... I was tired of being so hurt and mistreated. I could feel things were weird, awkward, disagreable in our interactions, the little sparkle was gone i guess. It's been 7 months and we haven't talked since then. He hasn't even asked for news, he hasn't apologized while a year ago we would talk everyday. He knows that I'm in a difficult period and very stressing period right now, he doesn't try to ask how I am or to offer me support, even if I did help him when he needed me eventhough his attitude didn't quite encourage me to do so and it was a bit painful for me. What do u think happenned , does it look like we're never gonna be in touch again? How can people/guys change so fast, have you ever experienced that and is there anything to do? I miss talking to him (the nice him, not the douchebag), this situation hurts, I'm considering cutting it off for good, and deleting him from facebook. Then at least I can't look his profile up anymore and I know we're not gonna talk again, it's harsh, but maybe better than false hopes.But there's no going back after that, and I know he'll be very offended. He is proud. What would you do ? Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I have to be completely honest with you. This guy is a complete waste of time. You can't have the nice him without the douchebag, that is who he is. You can't separate them. He has absolutely no right to insult you, your family, your appearance, or your origins. That behaviour is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. You teach people how to treat you. When you allow it to continue you are basically saying it is ok, keep doing it. That is why he continued to do it. It was kind of you to help him with his exams but it sounds like he used you when it was convenient for him and now he doesn't need you for anything. He is not a nice guy. Your feelings are wasted on him. You don't need someone like that in your life. If you are feeling lonely and miss him then maybe that is a sign that it is time to start dating someone and make some new friends. Find a decent guy who is respectful and cares about you. I know it hurts but I would delete him off Facebook. It isn't harsh, it is sensible decision done for the right reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff28 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Nina, someone who has feelings for you, loves you or even just cares for you as a friend should not be behaving that way towards you. Any girl that I loved, dated, was close with or even just casual friends, I would never joke like that or make them feel uncomfortable. Many guys on here would say the same exact thing. I can only imagine the frustration and pain this is causing you since you did really enjoy the times he was nice and made you feel like he appreciated you. At the end of the day, you've got to be happy and at least from your initial post, you aren't very happy at the current state of things,. You can always try one last ditch effort and tell him exactly how you feel via a facebook message and if things don't change, you tried and its time to cut him loose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Verbal abuse dressed up as humour. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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