Does my boss like me?

[Akitax]

Ok, he's my boss, havent worked there long, we get on like a house on fire, I find him really attractive I can't help it I know it's wrong. I think we have chemistry but I'm not sure if he likes me too?

He enters the room and he looks in my direction, I come in he makes a point of saying hello, he's talking to my co workers but I look up and he's stealing glances at me, smiling. If he's across the room he will still make eye contact with me briefly. He makes a joke and will look over at me and im laughing.

he pulls cute little faces at me if sometimes, he spends most of the working day winding me up if he's around me (unless he's in boss mode - but even then he smiles and looks over a lot) he winds me up so much I do It back.

When we are one on one in his office we talk about everything hobbies and all sorts he makes eye contact constantly and doesn't break it, although lately he's started blushing. We sometimes talk for so long im gone for about half an hour and my co workers have to come and find me.

He always says my name when he's speaking to me, he doesn't seem to care who's around if he's talking to me I have his attention. Even when we are discussing work only we will get close looking at something but we never have touched (yet) I think I can feel the tension between us but it might just be me!

He always makes sure im ok (I am new tho) he makes gestures as he passes as tho he's going to touch me but hasn't yet. He recently has started standing so I have to squeeze past him. He made a few rude jokes (not about me though) he recently made something I said to him into an inuendo of us having sex in his office.

He asks me to help him with verything he tells me all about his hobbies his family and his childhood.

hes winked at me once before. He has called me a pet name once too.

i feel like there is something between us... The reasons im not sure is because altho I have tried to observe him with the other women and even men he doesn't seem to make eye contact or act the same as he does when he is around me

i could be wrong but sometimes he seems visibly nervous around me, jittery, chatting ****, can't keep still, he also stands quite close when we're talking he holds the door open for me too. But he holds the door open for everyone he also laughs and jokes with everyone too he sometimes doesn't say good bye to me and can be a bit off if he's busy. He also can seem as tho he isn't bothered about me and sometimes doesn't pay me any attention... So I can't tell if He likes me?

we haven't known eachother long we don't speak outside of work.

Advice/opinions please??

[kayla73]

All of these signs could mean that he likes you, but they could also mean that he is just being a gentleman. The constant eye contact is definitely a sign though.

 

Does he go out of his way to talk to you? I used to like this guy at my old workplace, and the reason I knew he liked me as well was because he was always finding excuses to come talk to me. He made it very obvious without being unprofessional.

 

The only way to really tell is to see how he acts around other women.

 

However, this might be a problem for you. If he does like you, do you think he's going to quit his job to be with you? Unless one of you decides to quit, I wouldn't try to pursue this. Someone might get hurt.

[Akitax]

All of these signs could mean that he likes you, but they could also mean that he is just being a gentleman. The constant eye contact is definitely a sign though.

 

Does he go out of his way to talk to you? I used to like this guy at my old workplace, and the reason I knew he liked me as well was because he was always finding excuses to come talk to me. He made it very obvious without being unprofessional.

 

The only way to really tell is to see how he acts around other women.

 

However, this might be a problem for you. If he does like you, do you think he's going to quit his job to be with you? Unless one of you decides to quit, I wouldn't try to pursue this. Someone might get hurt.

 

I don't know he seems to always try and catch my attention lately im trying to ignore him but I cant maybe that's why I think it's more but to be honest ive never met someone who looks at me like that with such intense eye contact I don't no where to look !!

[preraph]

If you two don't stop flirting, everyone in the office is going to hate you.

[d0nnivain]

Maybe, but because he is your boss, he can't date you. You should respect that boundary too.

 

 

Everything you described could be him just being a good boss who is nice to the new hire & you may be overreading everything.

 

 

Do not act on your lust for him.

[Akitax]

If you two don't stop flirting, everyone in the office is going to hate you.

 

They don't even seem to notice what he does x

[Akitax]

Maybe, but because he is your boss, he can't date you. You should respect that boundary too.

 

 

Everything you described could be him just being a good boss who is nice to the new hire & you may be overreading everything.

 

 

Do not act on your lust for him.

 

I'm not, well I do flirt but I want him and I wont do anything till he does

[d0nnivain]

They don't even seem to notice what he does x

 

 

If your coworkers are not picking up on the flirting, it's all in your head.

[Akitax]

If your coworkers are not picking up on the flirting, it's all in your head.

 

Ok let me rephrase that. They seem to try and stop us being together but they have never said anything to me

[Akitax]

If your coworkers are not picking up on the flirting, it's all in your head.

 

They literally interrupt everything we do

[preraph]

They don't even seem to notice what he does x

 

Trust me, they notice and try very hard not to let him know they notice. With this going on, even if you were the hardest working woman in the office, you'd never get credit for it because half of them at least will assume you're getting special privileges.

[Akitax]

Trust me, they notice and try very hard not to let him know they notice. With this going on, even if you were the hardest working woman in the office, you'd never get credit for it because half of them at least will assume you're getting special privileges.

 

I'm not tho he's still my boss I do my work as I should and he plays them up sometimes too but I dunno I feel there's something between us. Am I actually just going mad !

[CarrieT]

They seem to try and stop us being together but they have never said anything to me

Nor will they. But you can bet they are all talking amongst themselves and that will not bode well.

 

 

I'm not tho he's still my boss I do my work as I should and he plays them up sometimes too but I dunno I feel there's something between us. Am I actually just going mad !

There is something between you because YOU are working for there to be something between you.

 

It can only end badly if you let it continue.

[Akitax]

Nor will they. But you can bet they are all talking amongst themselves and that will not bode well.

 

 

 

There is something between you because YOU are working for there to be something between you.

 

It can only end badly if you let it continue.

 

I don't think I'm making anything happen he does things of his own free will

[darkmoon]

sex in the office haha, ok, but only if you do not want to date properly, so unless you are phoning him at home on weekends, no sex, and prolly no sex unless he promotes you, you would be naive to see this any other way

 

he could easily just screw you in the office once or just few times and you will have gotten nowhere, just screwed and dumped for his next thrill, sex on a desk is not romantic

 

if your workmates are busily trying to stop you two, i would say one of them wants him like you do

Edited April 3, 2015 by darkmoon

[donnabella8]

Starting a new thread with the exact same scenario, hoping to get different answers, is an exercise in futility.

 

I'm going to repost what I said to you on your other thread, because it bears repeating:

 

"It sounds to me like you have a tremendous amount of stress and angst in your personal life right now, and I can see how the crush and flirting with your boss became an escape for you.

 

I won't speak to the situation with your boss, as you've gotten tons of excellent advice from others. [on the previous thread]

 

I just wanted to comment on the situation with your boyfriend, and how you are handling it. It sounds to me like you are in the U.K., so forgive me if I'm not us the correct terms, but have you considered getting some support in how to deal with his addiction? Here in the U.S. we have programs called Nar-Anon, which is an offshoot of Narcotics Anonymous targeted to spouses/friends/family members of addicts. They can be incredibly helpful in learning how to deal with relationships with addicts.

 

While I know you are miserable with your situation at home, I see that you are realizing that entering into an affair with your boss is not the answer. I hope you seek help in coping and wish you well."

 

You stated that there weren't able to find any support groups in the U.K., so please check out UKNA.org.

 

Best of luck to you.

[d0nnivain]

I don't think I'm making anything happen he does things of his own free will

 

 

It takes two to tango. If you weren't into having something start you wouldn't be gone in his office for so long that co-workers have to come find you. By lazing away the day talking to him you are slacking & you are getting away with it. You are getting special treatment & you co-workers resent it.

 

 

His favoritism is already disrupting office harmony & productivity.

 

 

Dating a co-worker is tricky enough. Dating a superior is career suicide.

 

 

If you are truly going to pursue this, get a new job 1st.

[GorillaTheater]

I assume he's still married and you still have a boyfriend.

 

Forget for a moment that he's putting his career on the line by having a relationship with a subordinate, and that you'd likely be doing the same. Dig in and find your integrity and refuse to be a part of anything involving the betrayal of wives, boyfriends, and families.

 

Break it off with your boyfriend and find a single man. Easy.

Edited April 3, 2015 by GorillaTheater
spelling

[Akitax]

sex in the office haha, ok, but only if you do not want to date properly, so unless you are phoning him at home on weekends, no sex, and prolly no sex unless he promotes you, you would be naive to see this any other way

 

he could easily just screw you in the office once or just few times and you will have gotten nowhere, just screwed and dumped for his next thrill, sex on a desk is not romantic

 

if your workmates are busily trying to stop you two, i would say one of them wants him like you do

 

This doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, what do you mean by the beginning bit? Yeah they might do but he doesn't really pay them that much attention

[Akitax]

Starting a new thread with the exact same scenario, hoping to get different answers, is an exercise in futility.

 

I'm going to repost what I said to you on your other thread, because it bears repeating:

 

"It sounds to me like you have a tremendous amount of stress and angst in your personal life right now, and I can see how the crush and flirting with your boss became an escape for you.

 

I won't speak to the situation with your boss, as you've gotten tons of excellent advice from others. [on the previous thread]

 

I just wanted to comment on the situation with your boyfriend, and how you are handling it. It sounds to me like you are in the U.K., so forgive me if I'm not us the correct terms, but have you considered getting some support in how to deal with his addiction? Here in the U.S. we have programs called Nar-Anon, which is an offshoot of Narcotics Anonymous targeted to spouses/friends/family members of addicts. They can be incredibly helpful in learning how to deal with relationships with addicts.

 

While I know you are miserable with your situation at home, I see that you are realizing that entering into an affair with your boss is not the answer. I hope you seek help in coping and wish you well."

 

You stated that there weren't able to find any support groups in the U.K., so please check out UKNA.org.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

The reason for reposting is that things have happened since then, plus I just want an answer to the question I asked not people lecturing me on my personal relationship or his marriage.

[Akitax]

It takes two to tango. If you weren't into having something start you wouldn't be gone in his office for so long that co-workers have to come find you. By lazing away the day talking to him you are slacking & you are getting away with it. You are getting special treatment & you co-workers resent it.

 

 

His favoritism is already disrupting office harmony & productivity.

 

 

Dating a co-worker is tricky enough. Dating a superior is career suicide.

 

 

If you are truly going to pursue this, get a new job 1st.

 

I go to his office because I have to for work related reasons and my co workers all get along with him too and have it easy there

[d0nnivain]

The reason for reposting is that things have happened since then, plus I just want an answer to the question I asked not people lecturing me on my personal relationship or his marriage.

 

 

The fact that you have a BF & he's married is further evidence that you & your boss hooking up at work is a monumentally bad idea.

[Akitax]

I assume he's still married and you still have a boyfriend.

 

Forget for a moment that he's putting his career on the line by having a relationship with a subordinate, and that you'd likely be doing the same. Dig in and find your integrity and refuse to be a part of anything involving the betrayal of wives, boyfriends, and families.

 

Break it off with your boyfriend and find a single man. Easy.

 

But I'm NOT involved in an affair or a betrayal that's why I posted this because I don't even know, your talking as tho ive done something wrong

Already but ive done nothing x

[Akitax]

The fact that you have a BF & he's married is further evidence that you & your boss hooking up at work is a monumentally bad idea.

 

But were NOT hooking up

[GorillaTheater]

But I'm NOT involved in an affair or a betrayal that's why I posted this because I don't even know, your talking as tho ive done something wrong

Already but ive done nothing x

 

I know that. I also know that the reason you're asking about your boss isn't because you're not interested. This is the perfect time to apply the brakes, and I'm strongly urging you to do that.

 

Avoid the train wreck before it happens.