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FWB or something more? Am I being the rebound?


JenniferParker

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JenniferParker

Okay I honestly don't think any of you will read this whole novel lol but I really need some help here! Basically, me and this guy have been getting closer for the last 3 months. We had already known each other for like 5 years (same high school), and he had a girlfriend for the past 3 years. He used to talk to me about her and he had always been a very respectful and passionate boyfriend. Then, 4 months ago we hung out together because we have some of our closest friends in common. I asked him how was his relationship going and he said that things had not been good between the two of them. I asked him if he still has feelings for her and he said "honestly I can't even answer that question, we barely see each other now and we barely talk, I don't know what I feel" That chocked me a bit because they had always been one of those great couples and he had always loved her a lot, but well, I though it was just a bad phase.

 

The time passed by and we started getting closer and closer, only as friends at the beggining of course. He was always very honest with me, and I kept on asking him about her and telling him I thought he should fight for her, and he always gave me answers like "we haven't even spoke this week yet" or "we haven't seen each other for the past 2 months". Honestly I didn't even know what to tell him anymore about this because I think their situation is very stupid lol, I mean, people either break up or stay together, there's no half way, right? And they live close to each other, like 10 minutes by car, so they could be together whenever they wanted to, so if they aren't it's because they don't want to.

 

Well weeks passed by, and we started to talk on a daily basis, good morning texts and all that cliché stuff bla bla bla... He even invited me to go on holidays with him and his guy friends, and to go to football matches with him (I love football). I always made up some excuse because I just simply couldn't do it, because I was always telling myself "He has a girlfriend". Things between us got more and more intimate, so one day I got done with this and I told him we had to stop with this because I was feeling very guilty and he was still with her. He got mad at me and said like "for god sake this is not even a relationship, we've never been together anymore". We argued but stupidly we got even closer after that. He started coming to my house during my vacation, he even planned his job schedule in order to be with me. First times he came in nothing happened, we just talked and watched movies and listened to music, but well one day one thing led to another and since then, every time we are together we have sex, or at least we kiss. I have always told myself this was STRICTLY PHYSICAL and honestly I only started having this with him because I had just broke up with my ex, so I thought it was the perfect rebound for me. And I swear I though it would end when I got back to college because it would be much more difficult for us to be together, and besides, I had already gave him what he wanted (sex). But nope, he had always find a way to be with me, like taking me to the beach or some random place and we almost always end up having sex.

 

I really can't understand what this is for him and it pisses me of because we never talked about it. I have always though we were just good friends and it just for the sex, but then I don't understand why he has attitudes like:

 

1. Wanting to talk to me all day;

2. Getting mad at me when I don't tell him anything for several days;

3. Presenting me to his friends and inviting me to go on holidays with them;

4. Calling me "baby"

5. Sometimes coming to my house just to see me for like 3 minutes (...)

 

So after all this story my point is, when you have a FWB there are limits that can't be broken, otherwise it gives the idea that it is something more, right? And do you think I'm being a slut by having this with him? Because seriously, sometimes I feel so guilty that I end up pushing him away and I don't want that because he's important to me. We have been having this for the past 3 months, and besides, yesterday a friend of mine told me that him ("my" guy) and his girlfriend have broken up... Moreover, I'm also afraid I'm just the rebound girl because I may develop some feelings for him. Also, sometimes he acts so weird when I'm around, like a few days ago at a club we were in, he was with his friends and I was with mine, and he was just staring at me but didn't even tell me anything, I mean wtf is this ****ty attittudes. Omg I'm so ****ed up lol seriously this whole thing is driving me insane

Edited by JenniferParker
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He probably just wants the freedom to collect as many women as he can without getting any flack from any of them. So he's checking up on you and stuff but he's probably doing that to others as well, or will be. There are plenty of guys out there who want to just keep adding women to their lives. I'd say it's the norm in the 20s. So it's up to you to set boundaries. If you have feelings, you need to stop accepting any treatment that doesn't further having a relationship and stop sleeping with him or anything. If you're fine being fwb, then no need to even pay attention to what else he's doing. Spend that time going out with other guys and friends.

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Why are you telling yourself that he is your FWB? He is not because you have feelings for him. You had feelings for him even before you had sex with him. This situation is not healthy for you and you need to stop having sex with him. God knows what's in his mind.

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