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Uh oh, I think I'm in love with my friend...


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Hey everyone, hoping I can run a situation past you, I'm a bit confused and stuck "in-limbo" with it and any advice would be appreciated, I'll try to keep it brief.

Basically, I think I'm in love with my friend, maybe in love isn't the right word.. but, I'm definitely completely smitten by her. Bit of back story, we met at work 5 years ago, (I was only employed there for 3 months) and instantly I thought she was amazing but didn't go crazy or lose my head over it, she was with someone at the time, and we just became good mates.

I then became involved with someone for the next 3 years, and she became single around the same time, so it was a bit frustrating due to those "What if?" questions, but anyhow, we remained good mates who caught up regularly (nothing suspicious, my girlfriend at the time was cool with me having female friends), and we shared our interests in doing radio and writing stand-up and generally she just made me crack up laughing all the time.

 

I have since become single, but unfortunately she had moved interstate by that time, and we only talk occasionally over the net or text, but none the less keep in touch, and i'm always encouraging her to follow her talents and continue her writing and to send it through to me to read and send her ideas and blah blah blah... you know, friendly stuff.

 

Anyway, last week she came back here for a quick 5 night trip, and messaged me all excited to catch up. So I organized a couple of things to do and went and met her, and instantly it just felt so amazing to see her again, but I kept my cool as this was just, I assumed, mates hanging out, and we had a great time, like, a ridiculously good time. We talked and talked, laughed a lot, and the whole night went way too quick.

 

I was on fire with just generally being my cool self, as at the time I wasn't putting myself under any pressure coz I was just catching up with a mate, and not trying to get into her pants.

 

There were things said alluding to how sucky it was that we weren't in the same state anymore, and that we both wished we could spend more time with each other etc etc.. but at the end of the night I didn't lean in for a kiss coz well.. we've been friends for so long and had had such a great night I didn't want to try and break that ice and be rejected thus ruining the whole night.

 

Of course, as soon as I drove away I went "AAARRGGHH!!!" because I probably totally could have/should have, and she probably thought I was a dick for not, maybe, I dunno..

 

When I got home, she'd posted a pic of us from the night with "#datenight", and I thought "If I knew it was date I WOULD of kissed her, damn!" and have since just completely lost my s**t over her, I've realized she's the only girl I've ever met where I could truly see myself with her long term, she's amazing, and I know she felt the same electricity between us as I did on the night.

 

So now she's gone back home, and I'm stuck here at work with my stomach in knots and unable to sleep, worrying about how or if anything could ever work between us.

 

I'm just looking for general advice on how I should proceed from here, do I play it as cool as I always have, just being mates and continuing to live our lives separately, or do I let her know how crazy I am about her and do what I can to get over there and "Go and get her" or whatever other romantic move-style gesture I could throw out there.

Is there a chance she still just sees me as a good mate, or was that electricity too powerful to ignore and I'd be stupid just to sit here and let her fall in love with someone else?

 

Any ideas or a helpful timeline on how to proceed would be massively appreciated, thanks!!!

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I_Give_Up67

Just tell her how you feel.

 

 

Tell her that her friendship is very special to you and you never want to loose her friendship. Then tell her that you have romantic feeling towards her also. Worst case scenario is she tells you that she just considers you as a friend, in this case your friendship remains intact. Best case scenario is that she has romantic feeling for you also.

 

 

Good luck!

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