kella Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) I'm in college and this semester I met arguably the most attractive, funniest boy I've ever known. I think he is WAY out of my league, but I'm trying not to psyche myself out. We've studied a few times one on one and get along really well- he's even told me deep stuff about his family, and we have awesome banter. Yes, he's 100% single. Problem is I just can't get a feel on how to take things farther. A group of us are hanging out at a bar this week and I'd like to get to the next level- I'd totally be okay with just a physical thing, or just seeing if there's any physical chemistry at all. How can I initiate a make out, or sex, or anything? I'm REALLY self conscious of my looks, and I don't know where to start with all this. I have an underlying fear that if I do anything obvious or touchy, I'll embarrass myself if he ends up thinking I'm a gross troll hitting on him. Edited March 10, 2015 by kella Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Is he coming to the bar with you guys? Ask him to dance & see where it goes from there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jethro Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I've been learning that there is really no "league" per se. You wanna hook up, start flirting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Since the guy and you have already been one on one so you know each other a bit, I honestly think he'll either make a move or he's not interested. He at least sounds friendly toward you. He probably wouldn't study and talk about things with just anyone, so he may like you, but you can't be sure. He could just be a friendly guy. Anyway, if I were you I'd just be sure you are wearing feminine attire and not blending in with the boys by wearing a hoodie and yoga pants. If you want a guy to notice you and feel you might not be in his league, then you need to make the most of yourself. Wear a feminine v-necked blouse or dress that is fitted to show off your curves. Don't just wear all solid colors. Have at least one piece that has a colorful print and is feminine. Wear some high wedges or heels. Wear a piece of jewelry, a necklace, bracelet, or earrings. Just be sure you look feminine. There are whole generations of people who never learned to wear anything except track suits and t-shirts and jeans and no one is attractive in those unless they are a perfect 10 and would look good in a barrel. Leave your hair down and styled. Do your nails. The key word is to look feminine. If you do, he'll see you as a woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MGX Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Is he coming to the bar with you guys? Ask him to dance & see where it goes from there. I agree with this. Ask him to dance. Maybe lean on his shoulder during the dance. Afterward, invite him to another activity in a few days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'd totally be okay with just a physical thing, or just seeing if there's any physical chemistry at all. Just tell him at the bar that you want to have sex. I'm sure he'll gladly put you into rotation. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 as an awkward person...i advocate just asking him out and telling him you like him...playing games is for non awkward people.....so from an awkward perspective...:0)....just ask him out...its easy to stick to whats true to your heart when you are in an awkward position.....or suffer from awkwardness.. my grandpa always said if you feel fear thats good.....means you do feel something real...its important to you in other words....so ask....in spite of fear......its brave and bold even if your knees are shaking......thats what i tell myself ..i also remember my grandpa loved me totally and would never lead me the wrong way...so i pass the advice on wholeheartedly......best wishes....deb... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Think very carefully about what you'd want with this boy. It's OK to say you'd be happy with just sex but a couple of weeks along and you are likely to be wanting an exclusive relationship with such an attractive and funny boy. If you think you'll want a relationship, then start out with that as a long-term goal and don't just jump into bed with him. He'll immediately think you are a good-time girl who probably does that with all the guys you like. You want him to think you are special and someone he has to make an effort for, not hand him everything on a plate. I suspect a casual hook-up is going to lead to tears down the road. Far better you get to know him and find out what kind of guy he really is. Maybe flirt a bit so he will realise you haven't friend-zoned him but explain (if required) that you like to get to know a guy well before taking it any further. Guys bond in the way women do but I suspect they do it more slowly and don't always realise it's happening. If you go straight for the hook-up, he's not going to have chance to bond with you as a person so you will seem like one of many women who find him attractive and funny. If you want to be the special one (sorry Mourhino!), then give him chance to get to know you in more than a physical way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 women should not make the first move, it's very emasculating Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 There are no 'leagues' - just people and chemistry. If you like him, let it show. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 women should not make the first move, it's very emasculating Sorry Alpha, that war has already been fought, and your side lost 3 Link to post Share on other sites
johncarl Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I think you should make it obvious you're interested in the guy. If you can, put some moves on him at the bar - dance with him, dance close with him, touch him a fair bit. Some guys (this poster included) are pretty dense when it comes to picking up on signals from women. On the one hand you get the guys who think a smile or hello from a woman is an invitation to get naked and make babies. On the other extreme you get the guys who are completely oblivious to a woman's flirting. Be mindful though, that if you have sex with him it could very likely just be sex for him. Guys are like that a lot more than women and most guys have no qualms about having a woman who they can just have sex with and not have a relationship. So if you're fine with that possibility, then hook up with him. I doubt you're "gross" - few women are and it's really attitude and personality that makes anyone such, not looks. So put some moves on him and go for it, then you'll know. Link to post Share on other sites
kimba Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 honestly dont do anything but give him the opportunity to be around you. Take your cues from him. I wouldnt be making any first moves. Link to post Share on other sites
HansonGirl Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I'm in college and this semester I met arguably the most attractive, funniest boy I've ever known. I think he is WAY out of my league, but I'm trying not to psyche myself out. We've studied a few times one on one and get along really well- he's even told me deep stuff about his family, and we have awesome banter. Yes, he's 100% single. Can I ask you a sorta strange question - how did you guys end up studying together one-on-one? Seriously, I can never even get to that point :-( I just don't know how other people do it. I am too scared to ask the guy myself. Does he ask you? can you just explain how you guys happened to end up hanging out one-on-one, that'd be awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
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