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Why does he booty call me when he's drunk?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 3rd October 2014, 12:14 AM   #1
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Why does he booty call me when he's drunk?

More context: basically he only booty calls me when he's had a few drinks meaning when he can't get it up because he's totally gone/tired. To be clear, I'm fine with the booty call because that's all I see him as: a good friend with benefits. But he can't **** me properly when he's in this state. We can't truly have sex because he's always tired and lying down. He can't even cum let alone stay hard when I'm blowing him... and I'm pretty damn good at oral. Instead, we just end up cuddling as he asks me not to go. He says incredibly sweet and affectionate things to me when we spend these intimate nights together... kisses me tenderly etc. So what gives?!?

Last edited by reveriesxx; 3rd October 2014 at 12:17 AM..
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Old 3rd October 2014, 12:53 AM   #2
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reveriesxx,
I am not sure whether you are a real person or a troll.

The reason I say that is that I can't believe any self-respecting women would put up with such cr@ppy behaviour.

Trying to have sex with a drunken man is like trying to push dough into a handbag - it's a messy waste of time.

If he only wants you when he's drunk, he's got problems, and you don't need to be part of them.

Wise-up, start respecting yourself and start dating someone who doesn't put his relationship with alcohol before you.
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Old 3rd October 2014, 4:21 AM   #3
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reveriesxx,
It doesn't sound as if he's calling so much for your booty as for your cuddling. (Even if he does also make going-nowhere attempts at sex.) Which is fine if you're fine with it. But I would stop wasting my damn good oral skills on this one, and find an FWB who actually brings on some pleasurable, satisfying benefits!
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Old 3rd October 2014, 8:02 AM   #4
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Liquid courage.

Perhaps he wants more intimacy not just sex with you but since you only see him as a booty call, he hides in the bottom of a glass.

Do you ever call him? Perhaps the sex isn't better when he's sober. Then what?
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Old 3rd October 2014, 8:06 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reveriesxx View Post
More context: basically he only booty calls me when he's had a few drinks meaning when he can't get it up because he's totally gone/tired. To be clear, I'm fine with the booty call because that's all I see him as: a good friend with benefits. But he can't **** me properly when he's in this state. We can't truly have sex because he's always tired and lying down. He can't even cum let alone stay hard when I'm blowing him... and I'm pretty damn good at oral. Instead, we just end up cuddling as he asks me not to go. He says incredibly sweet and affectionate things to me when we spend these intimate nights together... kisses me tenderly etc. So what gives?!?
I think you just like being needed more than anything. He does not seem so much of a FWB to me. Just does not have what you want.
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Old 3rd October 2014, 9:06 AM   #6
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He hasn't the courage while sober. Perhaps you should be more aggressive when he's sober.
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Old 3rd October 2014, 10:31 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Liquid courage.

Perhaps he wants more intimacy not just sex with you but since you only see him as a booty call, he hides in the bottom of a glass.

Do you ever call him? Perhaps the sex isn't better when he's sober. Then what?
You know then what. More cuddling... :P
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Old 7th October 2014, 6:35 AM   #8
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To the contrary of what other are saying, it's never a good sign when man only calls you while drunk.
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Old 7th October 2014, 7:26 AM   #9
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Alrighty and delicately *
Aren't you a wee bit perturbed that he calls you AFTER he's gone out and partied with all his friends etc then doesn't even 'bring it' when he brings himself to you?

Yeah. I'd call 'foul' on this 'friendship'*
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Old 7th October 2014, 8:11 AM   #10
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We can sit here and analyze him and this scenario to death but at the end of the day we will never really don't know his true intentions nor care either way.

The real question is what do YOU want from this arrangement?

If you think you might want more from him then find the courage to confront him already.

If you are fine with NSA then this is all part of the package after all. You get what you get when you get it.

Don't like it? Then stop answering his text when you know he's been out partying.

Seems pretty simple to me.
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Old 7th October 2014, 8:24 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Leigh 87 View Post
To the contrary of what other are saying, it's never a good sign when man only calls you while drunk.

Exactly.

Certainly its a combination of liquid courage + he doesn't care about you + he knows you'll answer the phone.....and the best part is you keep doing it knowing you'll get a limp dick.
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Old 7th October 2014, 10:37 AM   #12
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So has he EVER f'd you successfully or does he maybe have impotence problems in general? Has he ever been sober and not been able to have sex? If so, maybe he has to be drunk to get up the nerve to try again. I certainly would not be wasting oral on this guy. If he has a real impotence problem, oral isn't going to help. If he's just not that into you, oral is more than he deserves or should expect. If you're not able to call him or he doesn't call you except when too trashed to have sex but you think he sees other women and gives them the sober him and good sex, I'd just completely stop having sex with him or anything else because that puts you in a pretty degraded position. But I do understand some guys have trouble with EDS and that unfortunately some of those guys won't risk not being able to get it up with the girls they really like but will risk it with those they really don't care about. I had a "sort of" bf with that same problem. He'd at least attempt to f little trashy drunk girls but wouldn't risk it with me because I was prominent within our circle.

Only you know how much of a relationship you really have with this guy and that's why it's not easy to say what's going on here. Bottom line, you probably shouldn't be responding to booty calls no matter what the situation is if you ever intend to find a real relationship. It's one thing if you run into a guy at the club and just end up having fun together there and at home, but just letting some guy have a separate life and let him come over for sex when he's not doing anything else to nurture any relationship between you just can't be good for you.
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