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Friends with benefits trying to hook up with my friends


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FaithInTheDark

Hi

I met a male a few months ago and we became good friends. We ended up sleeping together a few Times but never let it get weird.

I've noticed he says kinda weird things to try and make me jealous or so it seems.

Like when I said I needed a friend to keep me company since I was having a really bad day. He said he was having a girlfriend over that night so I said I didn't want to intrude on his lady friend but called him out on the girlfriend statement since we had just slept together.

He said no, she's just a friend that's a girl... But no biggie.

So I bring this guy over to a friends house and introduce him to my female friends that were at the house too. Privately, he tells me he was embarrassed about our last few sexual encounters since ,let's just say it was REALLY BAD sex.

I told him I think we should call it quits on being intimate and he seemed a bit thrown off.

Yesterday he tells me how he's been trying to contact one of my girl friends to spend time but she hadn't returned he texts.

I didn't know what to say and I thought this was extremely classless of him.

I'm not jealous but kinda weirded out he'd tell me that.

Then last night I called him and this female answers the phone and says he's not around and to leave a message,

My friend thought it was pretty obvs he was trying to it seem he was with a girl.

Am I being too sensitive or should I just back off from this male friend for a while? Do I have the right to feel weirded out by him?does it seem like he's trying to get me jealous?

Edited by FaithInTheDark
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It may be classless, but FWB don't really have any rules except to keep their mouths shut. We passed men around like cookies if they (long before there was a word for it fwb) were f*able guys but no one was about to get serious with them. That's why it's really important not to have a FWB if you actually have deeper feelings beyond casual type friendship.

 

I do remember one situation blowing up. A guy who played in a house band at a club was banging every waitress and all their friends and anyone else who came in. He was a delightful lad in many respects, nice personality and everything, but to anyone with half a brain, it was clear he was at least a decade away from feeling the need to "settle down" or get monogamous. I was fine with it at the time, but there was a pregnancy scare with one of the ladies and before long entering that bar was a lot like swimming in a tank of piranhas. Yet anyone with eyes could see he was a major player so they were just deluding themselves. He didn't try to hide anything. I didn't stay around for the final body count because I was leaving town about that time, and I didn't even tell him I was going, but he knew (yes in the Biblical sense) a close friend of mine and they called me long-distance when he was over at her house one night offering to fly me in for a 3-way. (I didn't go. I was in love with someone by then.)

 

We passed another guy around who was cute and sweet and sexy but an irresponsible mess who couldn't keep a job. None of us wanted to keep him, but we all didn't mind the occasional fly-by. That's the guy you do FWB with, but you definitely condom-up. He ended up getting in trouble and being deported after as stint in prison for I'm assuming drugs. I have friends from back then who still communicate with him after 30 years.

 

I say don't ever have a FWB with a guy just because that's all he'll give if you know you want more, because even if you wear him down by him getting dependent on you, you'll never get the best of him.

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