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I'm not sure if he is interested or just teasing..


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Springfairy

I never had a boyfriend(and I'm older than 20, but less than 30) or anyone that likes me, so its hard to tell.

I started working at this grocery store about 6 months ago, all the co-workers were nice.This one guy introduced himself, and then we had break together one day, he started asking if I had a boyfriend, why I was single and what type of guys I was into.I didn't think too much of it, just thought he was one of those overly interested guys.I was vague with my answers, but still friendly enough.A few months later, my brother-in law was in an accident, and I was upset at work, he comforted me by giving me a hug and kissed my hand and said "I'm here for you babe" Thought that was a little odd, but again passed it off as him being a friend when I needed one.Its been about six months now, and today, during break he asked about my work schedule, you know normal chatty stuff, and asked what I do on my long days off, I said I babysat.He then said "You need a man in your life, you shouldn't be sitting at home while the people you babysit for go out partying, that's not right.You need someone who likes you for you, someone who force you into partying" I'm like yeah I know, I haven't met anyone yet.Then he asked

"How old are you" I told him, and he asked "What's the age cap that you would date someone" I said age really doesn't matter to me, its the personality, however, I wouldn't date someone 40 or older, I'd feel odd.

Then he said "Do you know mark?" I'm like yeah. He then said "Well mark says I should take you out, that your the perfect girl for me." I was like "Really?" "Yeah, he said a nice dinner would be good." I was like "Mark's playing match-maker is he, what is this fiddler on the roof? He laughed.And then asked if I had a car and drove.

 

Extra: Where I work there isn't a no dating policy with co-workers.Its just a no dating employers policy.I'm actually going to a wedding for two of my co-workers.

 

I do think he's really nice guy, but I don't know if he was subtly asking me out or showing interest or just teasing. I never dated before and actually am really shy, so I really don't know how to read people.Opinions?

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Will he be at the wedding? get to know him there

 

If he wasn't invited & you can bring a date, ask him to go with you because he will already know a lot of people there.

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Springfairy
Will he be at the wedding? get to know him there

 

If he wasn't invited & you can bring a date, ask him to go with you because he will already know a lot of people there.

 

I don't like asking people out, call me old fashioned, but I think it should be the guy asking the girl out.lol

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I'm not a big fan of asking either but if you were invited to the wedding & he wasn't, he can't ask you to go with him, now can he? You are also asking him to be your escort to the wedding; I've always made exceptions for that.

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Springfairy
I'm not a big fan of asking either but if you were invited to the wedding & he wasn't, he can't ask you to go with him, now can he? You are also asking him to be your escort to the wedding; I've always made exceptions for that.

 

That's true.But I don't want to look foolish if this was some sort of trick just to get work gossip or if I'm just misreading him.

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By simply asking him to go a wedding with you, you cannot look foolish even if he says no.

 

 

Gushing at him, professing your undying love & giggling too much during the ask will make you look foolish but a simple Hey, I'm invited to so & so's wedding. I was thinking we could go to together since you already know people anyway. Whatdaya say?

 

 

Again the way I phrased it, it's a no lose scenario for you. If he likes you or even just wants to go to the wedding, you get an escort. If he turns you down, you know where you stand & can move forward.

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Springfairy

I decided not to ask haha, just was gonna brush it off as him being an overly-friendly guy.

 

Then today I was not feeling well, an ex called me and got angry with me because I didn't want to hang out.

 

I was at break and this guy that I'm questioning was going home, asked me if I was okay, I said yeah, but he kept walking over to me.And then said, you can talk to me when your ready.I'm here for you, when your ready to open up, I'll listen.So I told him, he hugged me and said "I'm here and I always will be" I just started crying.He kind of forced me to look at him by holding my shoulders, I had nowhere else to look.It felt very weird haha, I hate looking people in the eyes lol anyways he said "Know that I think your a beautiful, special girl" He kissed my hand, then my forehead and rubbed my cheek.Told he me he'd see me next time I work.

 

Thing is I'm just having a hard time believing he's interested.I'm really thinking he's just trying to make me feel better to stop crying.:o

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askmrknowitall

You are not only shy, but Innocent as well, I don't mean innocent as in never having been kissed (smile), but rather innocent in terms of how you view the world. We all start out with this gift, but time, and life take it from most of us to soon. Hold on to this gift as long as possible, because innocents is like Paradise once lost, it's lost forever. Did you know that SOME people are quite and shy because they're more sensitive to loud sounds, thus they prefer quite. If you're not the type of person who carries the conversation ( the most talkative one in the conversation) , then you must train yourself to obtain the information that you need in the context of the conversation. People will tell you what you want to know inside the conversation, whereas coming back after the conversation and asking the same questions could be uncomfortable for you.

Let's role play the conversation that you had with this guy and I'll show you what I mean.

 

He then said "You need a man in your life, you shouldn't be sitting at home while the people you babysit for go out partying, that's not right.You need someone who likes you for you, someone who force you into partying" I'm like yeah I know, I haven't met anyone yet. ( WHY ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING, laugh, the answer to that question could could have given the answer to all of his other questions) Then he asked

 

"How old are you" I told him ( WHAT ABOUT YOU, HOW OLD ARE YOU ?), and he asked "What's the age cap that you would date someone" I said age really doesn't matter to me, its the personality, however, I wouldn't date someone 40 or older, I'd feel odd.

Then he said "Do you know mark?" I'm like yeah. He then said "Well mark says I should take you out, that your the perfect girl for me." I was like "Really?" ( AND WHAT DO YOU THINK, DO YOU THINK I'M THE PERFECT GIRL FOR YOU ?, smile) "Yeah, he said a nice dinner would be good." I was like "Mark's playing match-maker is he, what is this fiddler on the roof? ( WELL MARK IS JUST FULL OF GOOD IDEAS, BY THE WAY ARE YOU TRYING TO ASK ME OUT ? ) He laughed.And then asked if I had a car and drove.

 

These kinds of questions will get you the answers that you need. However only spending time with this guy can tell you whether or not he's right for you.

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Springfairy

I already knew his age, because a few weeks after we met, he asked me how old I was and I told him, then he had me guess his age.

 

I guess he forgot how old I said I was and asked again.

 

Anyways, today while we were waiting to clock in he asked me when my break was, and told me he was curious because he would have taken me out to lunch.He wants me to be happy.

 

We didn't have the same lunch time, so he said "Maybe next time?"

I responded, with a sure, I'd like that.

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He really likes you! Men don't stick their necks out like that for no reason. You should give him the green light next conversation and tell him you're looking for someone to go to a movie with (or whatever) because so far you have been stand-offish.

 

Go for it!

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This is really cute; it's giving me butterflies inside lol :) He sounds like a sweet guy. Try to spend some alone time with him (lunch, dinner, coffee, anything) and give this a chance. You were able to talk to him comfortably so I'd say you enjoyed his company.

 

I was like you, very shy and quiet, and was always in denial whenever a guy seems interested in me. I'd be like, "nahh he doesn't like me. It can't be. He's just being friendly and teasing me" blah blah blah.

 

But the thing is, you never know for sure until you give the guy a chance and I think this guy deserves a chance (he's been "nice" to you for 6 months!) :) Good luck and keep us updated!

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The guy seems desperate and needy. I wouldn't say he really likes you.. He doesn't even KNOW you... He also seems to say things randomly without truly meaning any of it. Of course, this is just me reading and interpreting the way you have posted about your interactions with him. It sounds like he is moving way to fast as well. Not only with his comments toward you but not even knowing much at all about YOU beforehand....

 

 

My advice would be to get to know him better. It really sounds like you might see or interact with one another no more than 5 minutes a day while at work. Way to soon to invite him to attend a wedding WITH YOU imo.

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Springfairy
The guy seems desperate and needy. I wouldn't say he really likes you.. He doesn't even KNOW you... He also seems to say things randomly without truly meaning any of it. Of course, this is just me reading and interpreting the way you have posted about your interactions with him. It sounds like he is moving way to fast as well. Not only with his comments toward you but not even knowing much at all about YOU beforehand....

 

 

My advice would be to get to know him better. It really sounds like you might see or interact with one another no more than 5 minutes a day while at work. Way to soon to invite him to attend a wedding WITH YOU imo.

 

We spend more than 5 minutes a day.We usually get 1 1 hr break and 2 10 minute breaks.He knows a little bit more about me then what I posted, I didn't feel like writing a novel here, but we've talked about family, friends, interests, vacations.I just posted what I thought was important for my Q. He even asked why I never ask him about himself..I didn't really have answer for that lol.

 

But again I'm questioning, because yesterday he was constantly teasing me, mostly because I was smiling a lot.He mimicked my smile.Kind of hurt my feelings a bit, as I walked away, he said "You know, its a good thing to smile!"

Still, being mimicked wasn't nice.So I see your point here.

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I decided not to ask haha, just was gonna brush it off as him being an overly-friendly guy.

 

Then today I was not feeling well, an ex called me and got angry with me because I didn't want to hang out.

 

I was at break and this guy that I'm questioning was going home, asked me if I was okay, I said yeah, but he kept walking over to me.And then said, you can talk to me when your ready.I'm here for you, when your ready to open up, I'll listen.So I told him, he hugged me and said "I'm here and I always will be" I just started crying.He kind of forced me to look at him by holding my shoulders, I had nowhere else to look.It felt very weird haha, I hate looking people in the eyes lol anyways he said "Know that I think your a beautiful, special girl" He kissed my hand, then my forehead and rubbed my cheek.Told he me he'd see me next time I work.

 

Thing is I'm just having a hard time believing he's interested.I'm really thinking he's just trying to make me feel better to stop crying.:o

 

I'm confused. In your OP, you state (twice) that you have never had a boyfriend, but now you mention an ex calling & wanting to hang out. Which is it?

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Springfairy

Never actually dated.

Back in Junior year, some guy asked, I said maybe.

Somehow he thought I was his girl, so I told him to get lost.Closet to an ex then.

 

But as for actually dating, no I never dated anyone, never kissed, definately no intimacy.

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Springfairy

 

 

YES. This man likes you.

 

 

He is hanging back because he senses that you feel like you are in the deep end of the pool without a life vest & you clearly don't know how to swim.

 

 

In the future, try not to cry at work. It's unprofessional.

 

 

But keep talking to your co-worker.

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Springfairy
I'm confused. In your OP, you state (twice) that you have never had a boyfriend, but now you mention an ex calling & wanting to hang out. Which is it?

 

Didn't explain well.

 

Back in Junior year a guy asked me to be his steady, I said sure out of desperation because I was tired of being the only girl without a guy, but we never actually dated.We only talked at lunch or in math, but he made it seem like it was going good.Told his friends I was his study.Decided that I didn't like that he didn't want me around him, but considered us together.So I told him to get lost.Can that be considered an ex? Don't know what else to call him.

 

As for having an actual dating boyfriend, I never been out on a date, never hugged, held hands, kissed etc.I don't even know the proper way to act on a date lol.Hope that clears it up.

 

Yeah, its unprofessional to cry at work, but I went to an area where I thought it would be private, I just couldn't hold it in.This month's been stressful with added surprises.I tried walking away, but every time I moved over, he kept walking over.

 

I have more than just relationship issues going on, so it kind of all came out at once.

 

All the Advice has been really helpful, thanks.This is a nice community here.

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Thank you for answering my question. Now I'll tell you why I asked...I wanted to know if: a) you had a bad relationship experience & were trying to pretend that it never happened or b) you'd never had a relationship/dated but there was someone you had fantasized being with...

 

After reading your answer, it seems that "b" was close...even though you didn't care for the guy and didn't date him, you choose to consider him an ex.

 

With that in mind, I have another question--would you be interested in this new guy if he hadn't shown interest/been nice to you? In other words, are you willing to end up with a guy just because he likes YOU?

 

Please know that I am not judging you negatively. I just think that it may be helpful for you to consider how you really feel about this guy and if, perhaps, your desire for a relationship/boyfriend and having someone like you, is more important than your feelings for HIM.

 

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with enjoying the attention. What's important, though, is that you acknowledge your own feelings, set your own pace and don't settle for less than what you deserve. :)

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With that in mind, I have another question--would you be interested in this new guy if he hadn't shown interest/been nice to you? In other words, are you willing to end up with a guy just because he likes YOU?

 

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with enjoying the attention. What's important, though, is that you acknowledge your own feelings, set your own pace and don't settle for less than what you deserve. :)

 

I agree ^ What are YOUR feelings toward this guy? Are you interested because he's interested in you, or are you genuinely interested in him?

 

Also, try to loosen up a bit. Him teasing you could be a fun thing :bunny: Tease = flirt = fun :) I know my BF did the same thing to me when he was "chasing" me -- constantly teasing and mimicking me and I just couldn't help but smile in front of him. I know I definitely loosened up thanks to my BF. So, just try to enjoy the guy's company and relax! Flirt a bit. If he teases you, tease him right back. Enjoy it.

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Springfairy

I am not so desperate anymore.You know, High School years I was wanting to try to fit in with everyone there.

At work, I didn't care if someone liked me or not, if my co-workers don't like me, it was their problems, not mine.I was there to work.I'd rather be alone now than with a guy just because I want to fit in/want to be liked.

 

I know your not being judgmental, no worries.

 

This guy is different, I do like him quite a bit.And would love to spend time with him. I liked him before even began giving me attention.(this is really embarrassing because I haven't liked someone a lot, I can feel my face blushing now) I'm so embarrassed

 

 

@musical- Yeah I know, he said the same thing He said its a good thing, relax.lol.

Edited by Springfairy
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Springfairy

Well, there's no more wondering...

 

Today I was going home and he was on break, asked about my schedule and when he would see me again.Then while I was leaving, I banged my leg, and I know its weird, but I started laughing, he however didn't find it funny and asked if I was okay,

 

I told him I was okay, that I was clumsy, he said I was not bad luck, and I said "yes, yes I am" And he told me "Well you know what you need to break that bad luck is a boyfriend" I told him, as soon as he finds me one, let me know lol.The look on his face was priceless it was like hello.He then asked me out.:love:

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todreaminblue
The guy seems desperate and needy. I wouldn't say he really likes you.. He doesn't even KNOW you... He also seems to say things randomly without truly meaning any of it. Of course, this is just me reading and interpreting the way you have posted about your interactions with him. It sounds like he is moving way to fast as well. Not only with his comments toward you but not even knowing much at all about YOU beforehand....

 

 

My advice would be to get to know him better. It really sounds like you might see or interact with one another no more than 5 minutes a day while at work. Way to soon to invite him to attend a wedding WITH YOU imo.

 

 

 

please explain how you see desperate and needy.....because i dont see that at all....give me your perception i want to see it......deb

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Well, there's no more wondering...

 

Today I was going home and he was on break, asked about my schedule and when he would see me again.Then while I was leaving, I banged my leg, and I know its weird, but I started laughing, he however didn't find it funny and asked if I was okay,

 

I told him I was okay, that I was clumsy, he said I was not bad luck, and I said "yes, yes I am" And he told me "Well you know what you need to break that bad luck is a boyfriend" I told him, as soon as he finds me one, let me know lol.The look on his face was priceless it was like hello.He then asked me out.:love:

 

Helloooo yay! He finally asked you out :love: He's been hinting at it forever lol. Enjoy your date with him and best of luck!!! SO happy for you :)

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Springfairy

I feel like such an idiot.I went there and waited 45 mins he never showed up, I texted and he responded

 

"I need to take a raincheck, I'm taking my brother to the hospital he might be having a heart attack"

 

I responded with I hope he feels better.

 

He responded "I know, but can we do it next week sweetie?"

 

I didn't respond.I will give the benefit of the doubt and believe his story, but I no longer want to pursue anything.

He didn't want my cellphone number, but gave me mine, which makes me feel like this was a joke.

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