FyreCatt Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a situation similar to mine, and if so, I would appreciate any comments you have. My husband and I are good friends with another married couple. We have known each other for about 4 yrs, and we see each other two or three times a week. My male friend and I talk to each other everyday on the computer. He and I have have admitted to one another that we are physically attracted to each other. My friend and his wife have discussed what they consider "cheating" in their relationship. Basically, they have decided that either one of them can have a physical relationship with another person as long as a) there is no sexual intercourse (everything else is fair game) and b) both participants know that this is just for "fun". When he told me about this, I thought hard about it. I have come to the conclusion that I could be comfortable with the same sort of agreement in my relationship with my husband, because I trust him and know that there is not a chance of him leaving me. However, I haven't talked to my husband about it, yet. I will be talking to him soon to get his feelings on it. Basically, my friend and I would like be "friends with benefits", if both our spouses were consenting. We both love our spouses and are not interested in running away together, or having any sort of emotional relationship with each other (other than being the good friends that we are). Either one of us could stop the physical part of the relationship at any point without any hard feelings. Since this is kind of a strange situation, I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 I once did, although I was single and having a physical relationship with a married man whose wife said she was fine with it. (I was good friends with both of them.) Even though he and I stopped soon after it started, she ended up treating me awfully and feeling spiteful and angry about the whole thing. I didn't talk to her for years. Point is, these things are very risky. You might think that everyone's all rationale and on board, but find out later that emotions are not so easily managed. Is a sexual liaison worth potentially messing up your marriage and a good friendship? How will you feel when your husband comes to you saying he'd like the same deal with a woman at work? Will you feel so trusting then? What will you be thinking when he's over at her place having sex while you're at home with a bowl of popcorn? Will you want a blow by blow description of what happened? Will you trust his feelings or hers aren't involved? Will it be okay for him to spend an hour on the phone, laughing and chatting with her in the kitchen? Can he take a weekend away trip with her? -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 If you want to *destroy * your marraige...then by all means get intimate with your best friends husband....If you have feelings for your own husband , its going to be rough watching all this unfold.... Don't play this game....unless you want to see a bad ending... Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 This is such a touchy subject...... You REALLY have to be secure in your relationship....you also have to have alot of trust with your partner......My honey and I have a pretty wild sex life, but we set ground rules before hand.... Just remember that women can be cruel.... I know...I am one of them Link to post Share on other sites
waterboy Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 I mean this in the nicest possible way, but isn't having sex with the man who loves you enough for you? i say that because my exwife and i tried exploring this avenue and the same thing happened.. every time a fight broke out between us, this came up.. it almost ended our marriage.. i wish you the best of luck, but think loooooooong and hard about whats really important to you..if he's the man you want to be sleeping with, then marry him.. or keep the one you have by washing this thought out of your mind.. if you were just dating or seeing each other, then yes, i'd be all for it.. but its awful hard to work past something as devestating as the thought of a mans wife making "love" to another man.. Link to post Share on other sites
JumpRun Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Simply put - if you value your marriage, don't engage in such an arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
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