My Best Friend's Girl

[Long Live Rock]

I've been friends with this guy we'll call Nathan for about two years now. In this time we've had countless good times, adventures and I enjoy his friendship thoroughly. That being said, I tend to attract people who are egomaniacs. He is no exception. He is also a bit of a jerk, craves attention too much, has a tendency to be a bit blind-sighted and sometimes dumb, and is extremely vocal and speaks only what he believes. His parents ran away when he was little and he was adopted by parents who are very strict but only have the best in mind, but these things can imaginably lead to some emotional baggage. On top of that though, his will is good, he's very funny, cool, and enjoyable to hang out with.

About a year and a half ago, he introduced me to this girl we'll call Sam. We became friends and began texting and talking a lot. I've only known her for so short a time, but she's worked her way into my inner circle faster than anyone ever has. She's funny, nice, sweet, beautiful (a fact I realized before I became attracted to her), and basically has become one of the guys. She too is one of my best friends. In one of those weird school games where people divide themselves up into families, I was placed as her father and Nathan as her mother (don't ask). I was closer to her than any other of my "daughters".

Late last year, I was getting very close to the girl that I had been head over heels for since the day I met her 3 years ago. We'd always been decent friends, which gave me hope. I have never had a girlfriend before, so this was exciting to me. Nathan decided to do some unsolicited detective work, and long story short, the whole school ended up finding out. We hadn't been talking much as of late and she had a boyfriend, so she very politely just kept her distance instead of confronting me. After that, I had been attempting to move on but couldn't because of how amazing she was to me. Eventually I did and have since been in a period of wandering interest and uncertainty. We still remain friends to this date however.

Around 6 months ago Nathan asked Sam out and when asked what she should do, I told her she should go for it. Nathan despite having more relationship experience than me, is still absolutely clueless. He was always (and still is) very awkward with their relationship. It wasn't working for her, so she broke up with him on several occasions, only to have ask her out nonstop everyday after the fact. She eventually caved in each time due to his threats to self-harm. They have currently been dating for about a month straight,because she doesn't see the point in bothering to dump him.

A few months ago, Sam's father died of lung cancer. Her mom became alcoholic and started dating a total jerk. Always there for my friends, I let her come to me to cry and to talk to, and I in turn always helped. I am certain I prevented her from commuting suicide at least once. Nathan put forth effort at first, but eventually stopped helping her.

In her loss of both parents (one literally, one figuratively) I offered that seeing as how I was her father for that stupid school thing I could function as her real father, as much as was possible. And I have made my best attempts to do so fittingly, and we have both developed a strong bond and love each other as much as a father and daughter would.

Lately Nathan has given up trying all together, and has been awful to Sam. I can't tell you how many times he has made her cry, blamed her for all his problems and driven her to depression. I try to help as much as I can without ruining me and Nathan's friendship.

Yesterday a couple of friends, Sam, Nathan and I were supposed to go see a movie. Nathan couldn't make it because of his overly strict parents. During the movie, I kept looking at Sam and thinking about her gorgeous she is. The more I did, the more I had to fight the urge to wrap my arms around her and tell her how great she is and how much I love her. After the movie, our rides came. I said bye to all my friends, as did she. But when she said goodbye to me, she surprised me by saying "bye Tyler, I love you!"

I know I'm 15 and plenty of romantic opportunities will come along, but as I previously stated I have never had a girlfriend. I don't wanna ruin my friendship with Nathan, but I also don't wanna miss a chance. To be honest, I'm not even entirely sure if what I'm feeling is romantic love or paternal love! (I know it sounds crazy, but she very much has become my daughter and I have become her father).

Advice, opinions, anything?

[will1988]

Da fuq did I just read? this was the most confusing thing ever!

 

You are 15, she is 15, yet you look at her like a daughter that you want to bang and she looks at you like a father? I'm sorry, I went through my 4 years of high school starting over a decade ago, and have put in my 7 years of college and I've never, ever, ever, ever, heard of the weird friend-family dynamics you've described. Sure there were outgoing people in the group who were leaders, and then the rest of the group (in my first 4 years of college my group of friends and I were known around campus as "the group" lol) played their various parts... but we all viewed each other as equals. Then again maybe this "family" friendship clique thing is a new trend or new term that is beyond my time (I'm 10 years older than you).

 

Anyway, it sounds like to me you are going through a normal high school friend zone crush. you can either man up and ask her out - outright- or move on. There is a reason they call it a crush and not joy!